Friday, November 29, 2013

DotTeeVee: Dating Advice for Men

Do you suffer from social retardation, questionable personal care and a firm belief that the world needs to change and you're fine? Do you expect attractive women to join you on your free-fall into the abyss but can't seem to find any takers? Don't worry, I can help. There's a fifty nine second video that basically says "click here to solve all your problems" while using the female form to insure compliance. Yes, it's time to learn those "weird tricks" we're always being promised and miracle your way out of the self-abuse ditch you're currently digging.

We meet our unnamed host, who resembles an adult novelty doll that has somehow been given the spark of life via some divine hand. She's applied the make-up with a paint brush, is showing considerable torso and is full of disingenuous enthusiasm. I guess the idea was this would attract horny losers to the video, but I can't say it really worked since it has less than 6,000 views, which is about 994,000 less than your typical "semi-attractive girl pretends to share your pathetic, geeky interests" video.

Kelly Bundy Audition Tape #544

Apparently what's being offered is some sort of mental magic that will make "women subconsciously approach you." Sigmund Freud Game for the win! Yes, this is basically a modern update of those "how to get women with hypnosis" books from the back of comic books. On the other hand there's partially exposed breasts, so let's keep watching.

The poor person's Christina Applegate urges us to "click a link" for the "ultimate equalizer." The nice part of this video is all the claims are very realistic. This amazing secret weapon, whatever it is, can defeat mating rivals that are "taller, wealthier, better looking or more confident." I'm envisioning tips on marking territory, making myself appear bigger, performing ceremonial mounting rituals on wealthier men and the like, but our nameless narrator assures us that "Be the alpha male is b.s." 

To summarize: returning to a state of nature and literally becoming an animal is nonsense, while somehow sending mind waves into the wrinkled gray of the honies is sensible, good advice.

My red "power scarf" defeated a 6'11" confident millionaire.

Is it pick up lines? Before you start going on about the mirror in your pocket, the answer is "no." Instead we're going to "reframe" your interactions with fair maidens. Think of yourself as an off-center picture. We're going to fix that.

In other words, we're going to put your "game" into "overdrive." For a moment I thought to myself "Wow, overdrive! I bet all the cool guys are doing this!" then she ruined it all by pointing out that even guys who have never felt the touch of a woman, ever, will reap huge rewards. We get a final appeal to use the awesome power of sub-conscious horny level manipulation for good and not evil and we're done.

"I mascaraed my eyes shut, please help me."

Komment Korner  

I told my friends about this channel. 

one of the best movies ive ever seen 

so happy i saw this video 

Wonder how to attract women from work

It would be great if you can provide a little advice.

Shill Section

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book.

His first novel The Foolchild Invention is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

News You Can't Use: New Weight Loss Chip Implanted in the Arm Tells You When to Stop Eating

This week the middle portion of the North American Union will be celebrating some sort of hybrid gluttony/pretend to tolerate relatives you see three times a year festival. Maybe the attempts at human contact and politeness represent novelty, but the face-stuffing probably doesn't fall too far out of normal parameters for many. The upshot is we've got some weight issues. Fortunately, the invasive implantation of poorly tested and probably dangerous technology is rushing to the rescue.

A computer chip that could be implanted in an obese patient’s arm to help weight-loss is being developed by scientists.

Now they just have to develop some sort of drilling device to get through what doctors call "arm flab" or "fatceps." 

It would constantly check for fat in the blood and, when someone has eaten too much, release a hormone that sates hunger.

Technology can solve any problem, which is why we're currently living in an intellectual, spiritual and economic golden age.

In tests on mice, an early version of the device led to obese creatures eating less fatty food and shedding weight.

...and let's be real, you're just a glorified mouse. In fact, in many ways, you are the inferior of that particular vermin. Here, let me put things into your body to alter your behavior.

The Swiss researchers hope that within five to ten years they will have a version the size of a coin that can be slipped under the skin of a slimmer’s arm.

The current version is the size of a mini-refrigerator, requires two car batteries to power and has a bad habit of ordering the heart to stop beating. Give us a decade or so, all that will be fixed. In the meantime, keep on gorging, I guess.

The chip’s inventor, Professor Martin Fussenegger, said chips containing other combinations of genes could be developed to tackle other illnesses.

It could be used to prevent Wrong Think and control Face Crime! That will always be the dream, anyways.

If effective, it would provide an alternative to diet pills, which have to be taken several times a day, as well as to expensive and invasive obesity survey such as gastric banding.

Finally, a viable alternative to cotton balls.

The equal and opposite reaction.

It is also hoped it will be free of major side-effects.

It sure would be nice.

Being obese can knock up to nine years off a person’s life and raise the risk of a host of health problems, including diabetes, heart disease, stroke, infertility, depression and some cancers.

The opposing argument distills to "only dogs dig on bones" and "more cushion = sweeter pushing."

A spokesman for the researchers said: ‘Humankind has a weight problem.

You humans and your stupid minds. Stupid! Stupid!

Subject to funding, the chip could be tested on people for the first time in around three years.

In four years we should start seeing the first "1-800-BAD-CHIP" ads for class action lawsuits.

If it is shown to be safe and effective, it could be widely available a few years afterwards.

If not, we'll be digging some extra-wide graves.

Full Article.

Komment Korner

Whatever happened to good old self control.

It would be nice if Democrats had a device to tell them to stop speaking if a lie is detected. 0bama would not get past "Good morning."

Think this is bad? Wait for the Obamacare chip that tells you when to stop breathing.

Doesn't that already exist in our brains????

Diet and excerise simply aren't viable

Shill Section  

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read a free excerpt here.

His first novel The Foolchild Invention is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Revelations: Book One of the Merlin Chronicles By Daniel Diehl

Revelations: Book One of the Merlin Chronicles By Daniel Diehl.

Title: Revelations: Book One of the Merlin Chronicles

Author: Daniel Diehl

Genre: Fantasy

Length: 338 pages

Release Date: September 2013

ISBN-13: 978-0615879802

Imprint: Mythos Press – GMTA Publishing

Available: Amazon, Barnes and Noble.

Book Description

Merlin the Magician only exists in myth and legend – at least that’s what archaeology student Jason Carpenter thought until he discovered the mysterious orb that had housed history’s greatest wizard for 1,600 years.

Forced into an uneasy alliance, Jason and Merlin are sucked into a web of deceit, intrigue and murder that sends them on a chaotic race to outwit, and out run, Merlin’s ancient nemesis, the evil sorceress Morgana Le Fay, her gang of drug smugglers and a 500 year-old Chinese necromancer. Its a race against time to complete their quest before an army of dragons is unleashed on a vulnerable and unsuspecting 21st century world.

About the Author:

Daniel Diehl

Daniel Diehl has been an author, writer and investigative historian for thirty-five years. For nearly twenty years Diehl has been involved in writing for publication and documentary television production. Mr. Diehl’s work has won awards from the Houston (Texas) Film Festival, the National Trust for Historic Preservation (US) and the City of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Arts Foundation. Working alone and as a part of the multi-award winning team of Daniel Diehl and Mark Donnelly, Diehl has produced work in two main categories; trade publication and television documentary scripts. His canon of work includes twenty non-fiction books (which have been translated into ten foreign languages), one previous work of fiction and scripts for more than one hundred and seventy hours of documentary television primarily for A&E Network, The History Channel, History International, Biography Channel and Discovery Network.

Connect with Daniel:

Links where to buy the novel



Guest Post  

Merlin the Magician has returned to the world to resume his fight against the forces of darkness and chaos...

That’s right, less than a month ago on Dec 12, 2012‘Revelations: Book One of The Merlin Chronicles’ was released by Sunbury Press – and what a release it has been: orders from individual readers and bookstores have started to skyrocket and Sunbury’s shipping department is keeping the UPS man busy. eBooks by the hundreds have already been uploaded to ‘e’ readers and computers. We know for certain that electronic versions of Merlin have already reached readers in places as far-flung as Spain and Israel.

 To all of the online reviewers and webmasters who have been helping us promote the sly old wizard’s return (and those who will do so in the future), we want to extend a very special thank you. While we don’t want to slight anybody by mentioning some names and not others, we've added a few links below so you can find Merlin there also. To all the rest of you great reviewers, readers, tweeters and Merlin followers who been busy over the holidays, we are extending our invitation to you to jump on the bandwagon now as it seems The Merlin Chronicles: Revelations (Book l) is going to exceed all expectations, and we'll be releasing Book ll even sooner than we thought due to demand. If you haven’t yet read and reviewed ‘Revelations: Book One of The Merlin Chronicles’, for heaven’s sake, what are you waiting for? Now's the time to jump in on the forefront of this new Fantasy series sensation...




Award-winning author Daniel Diehl has created a sensation with his highly anticipated new fantasy series The Merlin Chronicles. A seamless blend of Arthurian legend, biblical prophecy, classic wizard fantasy and contemporary urban fantasy that never takes itself too seriously, this refreshing new series creates a world exactly like ours -- except that Merlin and the age of magic have returned full-blast to battle ancient evils and save civilization.

In Revelations,the first book of The Merlin Chronicles, archeology student Jason Carpenter discovers a mysterious orb that has housed history's greatest wizard for 1,600 years. Forced into an uneasy alliance, Jason and Merlin are sucked into a web of deceit, intrigue, and murder in a race to outwit and outrun Merlin’s ancient nemesis, the evil sorceress Morgana LaFay, a gang of drug smugglers, and a 500-year-old Chinese necromancer. It’s a race against time to complete their quest before an army of dragons is unleashed on a vulnerable and unsuspecting 21st century world.

Daniel Diehl, author, writer and investigative historian, has over thirty years’ experience in his field. His canon of work includes twenty non-fiction books (translated into ten foreign languages) and scripts for more than one hundred and seventy hours of documentary television for A&E, Discovery, History Channel, History International and Biography networks.


Revelations: Book One of the Merlin Chronicles is now available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Friday, November 22, 2013

News You Can't Use: ‘Cotton-Ball Diet’ Rotten, Say Nutritionists

Fad diets are here to stay. Whether it's something sensible like only eating swine products, something wacky like combining exercise with balanced nutrition or something so wicked sexy I'm almost ready to go right now like the "Eat whatever you want...for three minutes...once a year" diet there's plenty of options and more on the way. In a land with a strategic soda reserve that would last for decades and what could uncharitably be called hippos of the, well, hungry variety, we need it.

Doctors and nutritionists are warning against what may be a new weight loss fad…the “cotton-ball diet.”

Leave it to so-called "experts" to find fault in consuming something that, strictly speaking, isn't edible.

Several Youtube videos have been popping up claiming it’s a good way to lose weight, reports

Did I read that in an accredited medical journal or see it in a two minute video filmed in a trailer's bathroom? The answer to that question actually may have some baring on the value of the health and lifestyle advice you just received.

In the videos, young girls girls soak cotton balls into orange juice or lemonade in order to add taste.

I'm not a big lemonade fan, but do you really think cotton wadding would improve the flavor?

The idea is to eat the cotton balls to limit the amount of food a person eats during the day.

Other strategies include gluing your mouth shut, having someone choke you unconscious whenever you're tempted or hooking all the pastries in the house to electrodes that will deliver power, behavior-shaping shocks.

Extreme dieters say the cotton expands in the stomach and tricks the body into thinking its full.

Let's take this thing to the EXTREME!!!!!!11111oneoneone Wooooo!!!! Cotton down the throat!!! Watch this radical skateboard stunt!!! Aw yeah! 23 Skiddoo!

“The problem being that taking the non-nutritive foods is you’re not getting the vitamins, the minerals, the calories, the proteins, the fats that our bodies need to survive off of,” manager of Fairwinds Eating Disorder Program, Kourtney Gordon, told WTSP. “So you can have a lot of growth and development issues, you can have complications of being malnourished.”

I never really thought of personal care items, or for that matter other objects like, say, tables, as "non-nutritive foods" but I certainly will from now on.

Cotton ball man says, "Hey kids, eating me isn't cool!"

Your usual ad-laden CBS site containing the original story, don't visit for any reason:
Komment Korner  

Do the cotton balls make it a high fiber diet?

Kids today are so fat compared to yesteryear.

Can you buy cotton balls with the EBT card?

Wonder what Obama eats to fill HIS Kenyan skull?

In fact, there's a whole category out there called "actual food."

Shill Section  

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read a free excerpt here.

His first novel The Foolchild Invention is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Spirit Seeker by Jamie Haden

Title: Spirit Seeker #1

Series:  The Talisa Santiago Series.

Author: Jamie Haden

Genre: New Adult (Paranormal Romance)

Length: 269 pages

Release Date: September 2013

ISBN-13: 978-1492756842

Imprint: Libertine Press – GMTA Publishing

Available: Amazon, Barnes and Noble

Book Description:

Life is strange and difficult for the granddaughter of a shaman. Sixteen-year-old Talisa Santiago was born in the desert underneath the full moon in January-the wolf moon. However, she left the desert with her mother when she was a young girl. She remembers bits and pieces of her past but it isn't until she and her mom move to a remote barrier island off the coast of North Carolina that she feels fate has finally called-secretive and mysterious he stands alone on the edge of the bank.

Her friends tell her to stay away; she hears rumors that he is dangerous. Still, she can't resist. Whether Talisa realizes it or not, she knows a thing or two about boys like Jag Chavez. Fate is funny that way. For the first time in her life, Talisa meets kids just like her-Native Americans who know the ways of the spirit. The closer she gets to Jag, the more she realizes he is hiding a dark secret. He may have the markings of the Thunderbird, but he is named for the powerful Jaguar. Together they embark on a journey that will haunt her forever.

About the Author:

Jamie Leigh Haden is the author of Spirit Seeker, a young adult fantasy. Jamie lives and writes near the seashore in North Carolina. She has a Bachelor's degree in philosophy. Jamie is currently working on An Unimagined Life, the sequel to Illuminate-Alive, She Cried.

Connect with Jamie.

Links to buy the book:



Author Interview  

Tell us about your current release.

Hi and thank you so much for having me today. My current release Spirit Seeker is about the life of sixteen-year old Talisa Santiago. Life is strange and difficult for the granddaughter of a shaman. Talisa was born in the desert underneath the full moon in January—the wolf moon. However, she left the desert with her mother when she was a young girl. She remembers bits and pieces of her past but it isn’t until she and her mom move to a remote barrier island off the coast of North Carolina that she feels fate has finally called—secretive and mysterious he stands alone on the edge of the bank. Her friends tell her to stay away; she hears rumors that he is dangerous. Still, she can’t resist. Whether Talisa realizes it or not, she knows a thing or two about boys like Jag Chavez. Fate is funny that way.

For the first time in her life, Talisa meets kids just like her—Native Americans who know the way of the spirit. The closer she gets to Jag, the more she realizes he is hiding a dark secret. He may have the markings of the Thunderbird, but he is named for the powerful Jaguar. Together they embark on a journey that will haunt her forever.

Tell us about your next release.

Secrets, communications with the spiritual worlds, dangerous desires, and deep-rooted beliefs are the back drop to Illuminate—Alive, she cried, the story of Native American shape-shifters.

Some say the concept of rebirth is simply a metaphor for living a better life, a holier life. For seventeen-year old Talisa Santiago, such a resurrection is anything but a metaphor. It is her reality.

Talisa knows she can communicate with the spiritual world. She is the granddaughter of a shaman and going between two different worldly dimensions is something she realizes she is destined to do. However, what she doesn’t count on is what fate has in store for her.

After surviving the first hurricane of the season on the island where she lives, Talisa learns that her life is in grave danger. She must leave immediately and retreat to live with a secretive clan of Indians on a remote reservation deep within the Great Smokey Mountains.

Her blood brothers, three shifters who have the desires of both man and animal surround her, promising everlasting friendship and protection. Now, Talisa will put her life in their hands, depart from her mother, and begin the journey of a lifetime. However, the majestic mountains hold many secrets and danger lurks in the night. There are evil tricksters everywhere that want her dead. As Talisa falls prey to the confusion of her own burgeoning sexuality, she unleashes an untamed passion that may get them all killed. Illuminate—Alive, she cried, is complete at 94,000 words.

Where do you dream of traveling to and why?

I would love to go back to Europe but this time with my daughters. The last time my husband and I traveled abroad, we were alone. We are planning to go back in the near future and take the girls to Italy, France, and of course, Spain. My husband would love a second home in The Netherlands.

Does travel play in the writing of your books?

Certainly, travel plays a large role in my books. Physically speaking, Talisa is from Mexico and travels to different bodies of water before moving to Silence a remote barrier Island off the coast of NC. However, the Spirit people in Spirit Seeker are all able to travel within, and journey into other worldly spiritual dimensions.

Has someone been instrumental in inspiring you as a writer?

Growing up my father was my greatest inspiration. Now, my daughters inspire me to write. I wrote Spirit Seeker for them.

What was one of the most surprising things you learned while writing your books?

I am really at peace when I at home.

Who are your books published with?

My novel Spirit Seeker is published with Pill Hill Press. My editor Jessy Marie Roberts is fantastic! It is really a dream come true to work with such amazing people.

What do you think makes a good story?


Tell us about your family.

I am a stay at home mom raising three young daughters. My little girls are my greatest inspiration. My husband David and I met in college when we were 18. We eloped when we finished graduate school and ran off to the The Great Smokey Mountains. We’ve been married now for 18 years. He is my best friend.

What book are you reading now?

I just started Jane Eyre on iBooks.

What songs are most played on your iPod?

Everything Bob Dylan.

What is your favorite meal?

I love pesto! My favorite is pesto salmon with pesto veggies and pesto bread. (My daughter’s secret recipe!) I could eat salmon for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Second is Fried Green Tomatoes.

What are you passionate about these days?

Wine. My husband and I have a couple of cellars and we cave red wine. My favorite wine of all is Burgundy, Bordeaux, and Barolo.

What do you do to unwind and relax?

I love to hang around the pool with my family and enjoy good food and wine.

Do you have any suggestions for beginning writers? If so, what are they?

Read. Read. Read.

Do you have a milestone birthday coming up? If so, how are you approaching it?

Oh my, I am now in my forties. Forty three to be exact. However, I actually love my age, and feel the best that I have in years. I walk everyday with my husband and do lots of yoga and meditation.

Tell us about your favorite restaurant.

I know this sounds silly but my kitchen is my favorite place to eat. My husband is an amazing cook.

What makes you happy?

My daughters.

Say your publisher has offered to fly you anywhere in the world to do research on an upcoming book, where would you most likely want to go?

Italy, as long as my daughters could come, I’d go in a heartbeat.
Where are your fans most likely to find you hanging out?

In my backyard by the pool or at the beach.

Do you have a Website or Blog?

My website is

Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?

Thank you for hanging out with me today!

Spirit Seeker is now available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Anne of Cleves: Henry's Luckiest Wife by D. Lawrence-Young

Title: Anne of Cleves: Henry's Luckiest Wife

Author: D. Lawrence-Young

Genre: Historical Fiction

Length: 292 pages

Release Date: July 2013

ISBN-13: 978-0615827377

Imprint: Celestial Press - GMTA Publishing

Available: Amazon, Barnes and Noble

Book Description:

It is winter 1539. King Henry VIII is galloping through the night to Rochester to meet a young woman. Just arrived in England from Germany, Anne of Cleves is destined to become his fourth wife. He has never met her before. He has only seen her portrait – the portrait of a sweet, demure and innocent young woman. The impatient and lovesick king must see her before their marriage. But this rushed and unplanned rendezvous will shock them and the country both. It will also lead to some completely unexpected and fatal results.

“Anne of Cleves - Henry’s Luckiest Wife” is a well-written, great read! The author, David Lawrence-Young does a fantastic job in telling the tale of Anne of Cleves - one of the notorious King Henry’s many wives.

Set in the early 1500s, the author provides great foreshadowing of things to come in the innocent Anne of Cleves’ life with King Henry. Tension builds as one learns of King Henry’s personality and his ultimate reactions when he becomes displeased. The King sets aside his first wife - abandons her really. His 2nd wife is beheaded and his third wife died after childbirth. In fact, even though his 3rd wife lay dying, King Henry made no attempt to see, nor comfort her. Knowing this, how will life be for the young Anne of Cleves?? She may become queen, - but for how long, and will she survive? Furthermore, if the King is displeased with Anne - then what does life hold for the man who arranged the marriage - Chancellor Thomas Cromwell?

Author David Lawrence-Young has done a fabulous job in his narration of the time, the place, and the misadventures of King Henry the 8th, and his time with “Anne of Cleves:- Henry’s Luckiest Wife”.
I was provided this book for free to review. I am a member of Wordpress, Net Galley, Goodreads and Librarything.

About the Author:

David Lawrence-Young

D. Lawrence-Young takes the often pompous and frequently silly “Shakespeare Authorship Controversy” and turns it into a fast-paced page-turning detective story. All the nooks and crannies of rival candidates and claims are traversed in interesting locations and often funny encounters. The SAC has got under the Shakespeare-loving and teaching David Young’s skin and he has turned this irritant into a pleasure to read and from which there is much to learn.

Connect with D. Lawrence–Young

Links to buy the book



Author Interview   

1. When did you first start writing?


2. Do you read much? 


If yes, have you always loved reading?


3. Who’s your favorite author?  What’s your favorite book?

No favorites, but I love “Three Men in a Boat”- It’s v. v. funny.

4. What writers have influenced you the most?

Nobody special.

5. Do you have a favorite fictional character? 


6. What are you working on right now?  Can you tell us something about it?

Writing a sequel after my novel about Anne of Cleves – Henry VIII’s fourth wife, about Henry VIII’s fifth wife, Catherine Howard.

7. Is there anything in particular that you do to get in the mood to write, or to get in the ‘zone’?  Any particular pre-writing routines?

No, I am lucky. I can write anywhere and don’t need special pens, rooms, karma etc. I often play light classical music in background.

8. Where do you do your writing?

Usually in the spare/guest room in my flat or in the kitchen.

9. How do you approach your writing? Do you do outlines? Character bios? Etc?

I sometimes write very sketchy outlines and maybe a few words about the main characters.

10. Do you have any advice for other writers?

Yes, keep at it and pray!!!

11. Are you a morning person or evening person? Day or night?

Often morning but can also work happily at night.

12. Do you have any pets?


13. What’s your favorite ‘I need a break from writing’ activity?

Going for a walk, reading something light or the newspaper or a magazine.

14. How do you approach writing sex scenes? They can range from mild to wild. Where are you on the mild to wild meter?

Started off as cold, now getting much hotter, but not too hot as I write historical  not erotic novels.

15. Do you write in one genre or more than one?

90% historical novels but I have written a short mystery story, but that was based on a true historical incident.

16. Are you self-published or with a publishing house?

Publishing house, incl.GMTA.

17. What are your thoughts on getting a literary agent?

Have tried but not succeeded. Perhaps being an ex-pat Brit not living in U.K. makes agents think they don’t want to take me on. Getting an agent for me has proved harder than getting a publisher.

18. What about marketing?  How do you approach that area?

Give ideas to publishers or contact useful people directly. Also advertise my books on my website.

19. What about beta readers?  Do you use them?  How many do you have?  Where do you find them?

Don't use beta readers.

20. What’s your favorite food?

Very happy with thick fresh bread and bitter orange marmalade. Also breakfast cereals, but not the very sugary ones.

21. What’s your favorite color?


22. Is there a particular website or facebook page or blog that you, as a writer, find very helpful?


23. What’s your favorite time of the year?

Summer, but now I am ageing, (67+) I don’t dislike winter any more.

24. What’s your most recent book about?  And where can people buy it?

“Anne of Cleves – Henry’s  luckiest wife” a biographical novel about Henry VIII’s fourth wife. Can be bought from GMTA or Amazon etc.

25. As a writer, what do you feel is your strongest gift or talent or skill that you have, that helps you the most as a writer?

My love of history and trying to put over the situation, politics and atmosphere of the period/action/event I am describing.

Maybe this comes of having been a school teacher for 46 years and explaining ideas & events to kids etc.

26. Please share some of your links with us where people can find your books.

Also on Facebook

Anne of Cleves: Henry's Luckiest Wife is now Available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Choose Your Own Adventure #8: Deadwood City

I'm heading back into the wild west, perhaps because I still had several Westworld jokes I wanted to make but didn't get a chance to because of an abrupt and lame "it was all a dream!" variant ending. No, I'm not falling into the horrible "theme" abyss where you eventually end up with "it's the 2nd of July, here's a book with a flag in it" and so on. Honest, that isn't happening.

Anyway, "Deadwood City" is unique for a few reasons. It's the first Choose Your Own Adventure book featuring an entirely historic setting with your character native to that setting and it's the first time the "you" avatar is depicted as female. Well, it is if you don't believe one reviewer who insists that you're actually a long-haired young male with feminine features, sort of like the guys in Nelson. Frankly this theory has about as much credibility as claiming Space and Beyond is anything but a pile of red-blanket baby space puke.

Almost as bad as the awful truth behind the "Look What the Cat Dragged In" album cover.

It's a single digit entry, so back-story is minimal. I'm a former cow-puncher who grew disillusioned with all the politics and HR betrayals and am now seeking fame and fortune in Deadwood City. Upon arriving, I notice the streets are empty, which suggests either a ruined economy that President Hayes blames on the polices of his predecessor or that there's going to be a showdown. Knowing the general themes found in this sort of story I doubt we're going to be discussing the ramifications of RutherfordCare, aka the Affordable Miracle Elixir Act.

Featuring the No Forehead Kid.

Since we're leaving no cliche unturned I decide to hit the saloon. I'm invited to a card game, but the loser must take on Kurt Malloy, the "King of the Outlaws" who seems pretty dangerous, even considering his total absence of frontal lobes. I'm gonna lose, it's for fools, but that's the way I like it. I'm given the choice to break up a pair of eights to draw for a flush, but since I just need  to avoid getting the worst hand I decline and some other guy loses and must commit proxy suicide via the criminal royalty descending on the town.

  The only card I need is...another eight???

With the loser presumably bleeding out a few dozen yards from the table, the game continues as if we haven't just condemned a man to die for no good reason and the "stakes" keep getting higher. No, this doesn't mean the next loser will be slowly tortured to death, instead it's big money, which, in fairness, is a much lower stake, really. Either way, I could "make a fortune!" or lose one. All right, all in.

I get a pair of Jacks and decide to bluff with it. Thanks to the "Too rich for my blood!" behavior of the other players I win big, but decide to quit instead of going "double or nothing." I was expecting righteous wild west adventures and not a poker simulator, after all.

"Welcome to Poker World, where nothing can possibly go wrong."

Everyone is jealous of my success, but all they're willing to do about it is mumble. Hate the game, not the player, guys. I decide to leave town and continue my tour of America's beautiful wastelands, sort of like a Clint Eastwood character but with no awesome violence, whip-murder dreams or failed hanging scars. So in other words, nothing like one. That's how the story ends, just wandering. Will I get a bib or go back to momma? The book doesn't say.

Not much else to say about this one. I managed to avoid all the interesting plot lines the author seemed to be setting up and did a lot of gambling. Since I still lack that particular addiction (one of the only ones I need to complete the full set, actually) it came off as rather lackluster. The historical setting was nice though, especially since it didn't appeal to supernatural forces or something dreary like that.

 "I'm comin' for you, Moses!"

Shill Section  

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read a free excerpt here.

His first novel The Foolchild Invention is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

News You Can't Use: Man Arrested for Impersonating Cop to Get Discount on Donuts

Big Pastry is completely out of hand, charging ridiculous prices for those delicious confections that whatever nominal levels of free will I have are completely powerless against. Clearly the solution is to nationalize it so people who never eat doughnuts, ever, are forced to subsidize my addiction. Until this obvious, common sense solution is implemented, other tricks are necessary to get that glazed opiate. Solutions like impersonating a police officer and whipping out a gun.

Pasco County Sheriff Deputies arrested a man last week after he allegedly attempted a daring heist. Deputies say 48-year-old Charles "Chuck" Barry went to the drive-thru of a Trinity Dunkin' Donuts, identified himself as law enforcement and then proceeded to demand a discount for donuts.

It's so sad to watch Chuck Berry's downward spiral. First that entire "cameras in the bathroom" thing, now this. Wait, what? It's not actually the famous one? Darn.

Smelling a rat, the clerk refused, drawing ire from the hungry impersonator who allegedly held up a gun -- still in its holster -- and said, "See, I'm a cop!"

Sure, I've got my ObamaCard right here..." *Pulls out gun, points it directly at government apparatchik.*

Strangely enough, Barry returned the next day to the drive-thru where the manager took down his license plate tag.

It's almost as if high sugar foods have some sort of bizarre ability to influence behavior. That or this guy is not exactly a candidate for Manhattan Project 2. Maybe some combination of the two.

On November 12, surveillance was set up at Dunkin Donuts in a risky sting operation.

The sort of selfless heroism you might read about in 1984.

After being identified by the vigilant crew of Dunkin Donuts, Barry was arrested and charged with one count of False Impersonation of a law Enforcement Officer and Improper Exhibition of a Firearm.

Eternal vigilance is the price of easy access to powdered junk foods.

Full Article.

Shill Section  

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read a free excerpt here.

His first novel The Foolchild Invention is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

Friday, November 8, 2013

News You Can't Use: Mass. Man Defends Snapping ‘Upskirt’ Photos As Constitutionally Protected

If you believe the mainstream media the Constitution is a terrorist training manual, a racism primer, something we don't need because only guilty people are concerned about their rights and a "get out of jail free card" for pranksters, perverts and assorted sickos. With this in mind, we can now defend our non-consensual "kinks" by claiming the Founding Deviants would have wanted it that way.

A Massachusetts man arrested for taking “upskirt” cellphone photos of women on subways has argued in court that it’s perfectly legal and Constitutionally protected.

Our inherent right, given to us by divine grace, to secretly harvest pixelated onanism material on public transportation. When you hear someone from the Fertile Crescent ranting about the "Great Satan" this is the kind of thing they're thinking of.

Michael Robertson, 31, was arrested in 2010 after trying to take photos up women’s dresses on the Boston subway.

I see he's also getting that speedy trial the Constitution promises. Now that this has somehow become a First Amendment issue we can expect it to drag on for many more years. Maybe just pay the $50 fine and don't do it again? Nah, let's turn my moral leprosy into the trial of the century.

Robertson’s defense attorney, a woman, argued before the state Supreme Court on Monday that her client’s actions are protected under the First Amendment.

Speech, religion, press, assembly...I'm missing the part that covers unauthorized bikini area photography, but it's probably in the fine print somewhere.

Also, they're now apparently giving law degrees away in "magic claw" machines.

Friedman, a Hofstra Law School professor, argued Robertson is not protected under law according to the Fourth Amendment.

Thank you law school professor for pointing out something that's obvious to anyone but an idiot.

“Do you have a reasonable expectation of privacy in your underwear or in the thighs of your body when you cover it with a skirt? And the answer is you do,” Friedman said.

It's a tough task, balancing the rights of subway scumbags against the right to thigh privacy.

Now protected by the Bill of Rights!

Some women in New York were appalled by the case. “A lot of perverts out there,” one woman told Gainer. “Horrible! I can’t believe that’s the case here,” another woman added.

I was too embarrassed and/or lazy to actually interview anyone, so here's some made-up quotes that express what a likely hypothetical reaction to this would be from an ordinary person. 

“It’s very frustrating,” another woman told Gainer. “The more time that goes by, the more rights that they have, the more loopholes that they can find and it’s just less and less safe.”

It's a mathematical equation: Time multiplied by the speed of light equals more rights, loopholes and less safety. Yes, we have discovered rights/loophole equivalence. This theory of freedom and weaseling relativity also accounts for the steady entropy state of our safety.  

Clearly the answer is less freedom.

“I’ve heard stories of people looking up skirts and such, so I definitely keep my legs together and try to cover up,” another woman said.

"After I got done getting off to those hot, hot stories I changed my public behavior."

The Massachusetts Suffolk County District Attorney’s Office has argued that people have a right to privacy beneath their own clothes and you don’t waive that right just by getting on the subway.

Unless you're at an airport, of course.

Here's a link to the original story. Don't visit this site under any circumstances, it's laden with every type of commercialized b.s. you could imagine.

Komment Korner  

The war on women by liberals continues, don't think for one second that the defendant or his female lawyer are conservatives. Nice job libtards.

One peak up a libtards skirt and you're probably bound to see a gerbal attempting to escape their arse.

What about these celeb women with nip slips, showing their coochies, rears hanging out

Hey, it's just a photon-scattering event. Nobody owns photons.

 Oh... our comments should relate to the story? Since when?

Shill Section  

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read a free excerpt here.

His first novel The Foolchild Invention is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Soul Awareness: A Spiritual Awakening to Self Knowledge and Healing by Carol J. Murto, CH, MH

Title: Soul Awareness: A Spiritual Awakening to Self Knowledge and Healing

Author: Carol J. Murto, CH, MH

Genre: Spiritual/Self-Help

Length: 144 pages

Release Date: June 2013

ISBN-13: 978-0615829739

Imprint: Celestial – GMTA Publishing

Available: Amazon

Book Description:

Soul Awareness – A Spiritual Awakening to Self Knowledge and Healing is a Spiritual self help book, designed to bring a fresh awareness of what our Soul is and to serve as a guide to help heal at the deepest level – the Soul level. With clear, practical instruction and fascinating case histories from Carol’s 16 years as a healing practitioner, Soul Awareness will provide Spiritual direction and support through the text itself; true life stories of personal Soul healing and meditations. Soul Awareness offers tools that are appropriate for the beginner who is exploring the process of their deeper spirituality and the function of the Soul as well as individuals who may have been exploring their Soul connection and Spirituality for a life time. The direction provided in this book can lead the individual to heal on all levels; the Spiritual, physical, and psychological. Once healed, each individual life is opened to new possibilities including finding one’s life purpose.

About the Author:

Carol J. Murto

Carol is the author of Soul Awareness - A Spiritual Awakening to Self Knowledge and Healing. This book has its roots in Carol’s Soul Awareness class and it was inspired by Carol’s healing work with her clients. A writer since childhood, Carol has always found a variety of venues as an expression for her writing talents, but it is with Soul Awareness that Carol was truly inspired to bring to the page a reflection of internal content that is not only learned based on her 16 years of experience in her healing work, but also channeled. Carol teaches, holds public forums and hosts prayer/healing gatherings.

Connect with Carol

Link to buy the book


Guest Post

How is Soul Awareness – A Spiritual Awakening to Self-Knowledge and Healing related to the healing work that I do?

In working with my client’s and their many and varied situations, they have consistently revealed their Souls. And it is beautiful and magnificent, by the way…

I started receiving information all those 16 years ago about the Soul. My client’s revealed history, and the Divine gave me information. It is with this that I put together a syllabus for my Soul Awareness ™ class.   I believe that I received this information and it all came together so that our Souls wouldn’t be missed and that we would come to understand our Divinity. It has been really important to relay who we are (our spirit/Soul) as reality, not fiction, or some hope, but the truth. I know that the information, first taught in class, and now in book form rings as a universal truth, not my truth or your truth but everyone’s truth. That is what real truth is – it is universally understood and most importantly felt as the truth.

And so the healing work is related to the book in that I received the information from my clients about the Soul and the Divine revealed information regarding the Soul during the healing work. This is how the book was, over time, revealed to me.

Now available at 

Friday, November 1, 2013

DotTeeVee: HR's Employee Betrayal Secrets

You're one of the minority of U.S. Americans that is employed. However, all is not well. In addition to a table covered in bills, a nagging wife and those fat cats in Washington that are more concerned with the special interests than your kitchen sink dramas you also must contend with expert betrayers that operate right under your nose. Yes, Human Resources. Because each human being is a resource to be used, sort of like units in Age of Mythology. If you don't work out, we can always double-click on a building and get a replacement.

Based on actual events.

While the sort of piano music that usually accompanies a silent movie plays we're introduced to a typical H.R. villain. He looks like the softer older brother of Ned Flanders, but that doesn't stop him from claiming to be from the department of "Dark Arts." He declares his reason for existence was "betraying employees." Man, I didn't expect this kind of treatment at Judas Corp. 

I should also mention that this video is pixelated all to hell, perhaps to protect the identities of the principles from brutal H.R. reprisal attacks. 

"One time I used the company copy machine to make copies of my area."

How the betrayal works is most employees seem to think the purpose of this smarmy guy was to act as a Catholic Confessional, when in reality he was just another appendage of The Enemy. They shared their "intimate thoughts" he says. "Dear HR Office, I never thought this would happen to me, but last weekend it did. I have a ten inch penis..."

Then, of course, the snitch 'n' punish would occur, but "they never seemed to figure it out." Even the interviewer can hardly believe it. The awesome power of fake friendship is cited as a possible explanation for this incredible trick bag. 

"You guys are my friends, right?" Also: swag bag.

We get an incredibly awkward bit with two older ladies. Your boss says "you're terrible!" Forced laughter is followed by a "that's not nice!" I have no idea what the point of that was. Fortunately it's back to the evil corporate wizard. 

We're given a patented "one weird trick" to firing people. The secret, if you're responsible enough to handle it, is to use "As you know" sentences over and over. Let's try. "As you know, no one likes you. As you know, in a state of nature I'd probably kill and eat you. As you know, I won't even remember what you looked like in a week. As you know, you're fired."

That's pretty much how it works, my version might have been a little sharper on the edges than is typically recommended. 

The upshot is the employees are mind-washed by this neural-linguistic programing and end up practically firing themselves. 

"As you know, I'm not fully able to conceal my disgust."

What is the defense for an "As you know" bombing campaign? Answer: run!

Hey, it's time for basketball! Except there's no hoop and both people have a ball. That's not really how it works.  Well, at least they're not doing the adult act, so that part is accurate. Unfortunately the dumpy male half is not really into this odd game, but instead of being "down with the honies" he's down with talking about how to fire people. 

"Yo, I came here to BALL, not to hear your wack businessman stories."

Our new corporate scumbag has his own unique system, a bizarre reverse psychology approach where he keeps telling the victims things like "you're so good" and "I really appreciate what you're good at" until they're so creeped out they beg to be discarded. "You know when you're rocking the place," he adds, as the long suffering interviewer soldiers on as best she can. "That's really good," she tells him, perhaps trying to turn the tables and make him go away by deploying his own weird tactics. It works, because the video ends.

"I'm through with this, I'm down with the self-employment."

Komment Korner  

HR is where they pump smart employees for info then they fire them. 3w. RisePatriot (com)

Geez, if someone came up to me like the second guy I would just shake my head and wonder if he really thinks I'm stupid enough not to know what he was doing.

its not fake i work for the Federal Gov't and this is exactly how it is.

I believe it. This is the pathetic "Real world",we live in.

don't trust the employee assistant counseling either!

Shill Section  

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book.

His first novel The Foolchild Invention is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.