News You Can't Use: NYPD Arrests Nearly 100 Subway Break Dancers

Is there a more persecuted minority group than breakers and poppers? All right, maybe all those people that hate to laugh and don't enjoy fun, but that's about it. It seems that The Man is always trying to destroy our healthy good times of downrock, freezes and generally spinning on the head and so forth. The latest outrage comes from New York City, where the war on B-boying has entered an ugly new phase. It's bad enough we're expected to pay for own protection (sheets of cardboard on the ground) but now we're being arrested by a system that finds our power moves threatening.

After recently learning that New York sleeps in later than every other city in the country, we’re wondering why the NYPD is trying so damn hard to get rid of subway break dancers.

Nice and professional, Observer. Why the fucking shit bitch shitty crap is the NYPD doing this? I'm just tryin' to sleep in, here. How ya doin'? Fogettaboutit!

Because what does a better job of waking New Yorkers up than dodging flailing legs on the L train at 9:00 a.m.? Oh yeah, we have Starbucks for that.

I think we can now concede that letting the editor's talentless punk kid write an article was a bad idea.

Officials say that 46 subway break dancers have been charged with reckless endangerment so far this year. Another 50 have been charged with disorderly conduct, New York reports.

We are the dead.

There were only two such charges of reckless endangerment committed by subway dancers in 2013.

This is what scientists and so on call "number get bigger."

But dancers aren’t the only underground dangers the NYPD is targeting, and no, we’re not talking about the rats or the crowds, or even the upskirt photography (although we wish we were).

Right now our main targets are Mole People, alligators, break dancers and those monsters from the movie Tremors. We can't go after camera perverts because that's a Constitutionally protected freedom.

Despite Mayor Bill de Blasio insisting there is no “crackdown” going on, the Post reported that police have busted 371 panhandlers so far this year — a hefty increase from the total 100 charged last year.

Because this is somehow relevant to the struggle for our nation's soul going on over my freedom to swing from objects and then hold a pose as if unable to move.

The most prophetic movie ever made.

Those peddling churros and other yummy snacks without licenses are coming under fire as well

"All right pal, do you realize how yummy you were being back there?"

At least underground muggings are down!

Mostly because of that Death Wish guy. 

Full Story.

Komment Korner  

Artistic expression? I am surprised the twat that wrote this article is not claiming racial profiling. God forbid we not want to allow people to act like Overgrown children.

these youngsters are actually dancing the polls on full trains and is more intimidating to the riders than it is entertaining, doing his horizontal hanging on the pole he had his sneakers literally in my face

Make them catch 10 rats down there per infraction.

About time the crackdown started.

In de jungle, you've got to be able to do dis to get dem bananas.

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Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read a free excerpt here.

His first novel The Foolchild Invention is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

News You Can't Use: Mass. Man Defends Snapping ‘Upskirt’ Photos As Constitutionally Protected

If you believe the mainstream media the Constitution is a terrorist training manual, a racism primer, something we don't need because only guilty people are concerned about their rights and a "get out of jail free card" for pranksters, perverts and assorted sickos. With this in mind, we can now defend our non-consensual "kinks" by claiming the Founding Deviants would have wanted it that way.

A Massachusetts man arrested for taking “upskirt” cellphone photos of women on subways has argued in court that it’s perfectly legal and Constitutionally protected.

Our inherent right, given to us by divine grace, to secretly harvest pixelated onanism material on public transportation. When you hear someone from the Fertile Crescent ranting about the "Great Satan" this is the kind of thing they're thinking of.

Michael Robertson, 31, was arrested in 2010 after trying to take photos up women’s dresses on the Boston subway.

I see he's also getting that speedy trial the Constitution promises. Now that this has somehow become a First Amendment issue we can expect it to drag on for many more years. Maybe just pay the $50 fine and don't do it again? Nah, let's turn my moral leprosy into the trial of the century.

Robertson’s defense attorney, a woman, argued before the state Supreme Court on Monday that her client’s actions are protected under the First Amendment.

Speech, religion, press, assembly...I'm missing the part that covers unauthorized bikini area photography, but it's probably in the fine print somewhere.

Also, they're now apparently giving law degrees away in "magic claw" machines.

Friedman, a Hofstra Law School professor, argued Robertson is not protected under law according to the Fourth Amendment.

Thank you law school professor for pointing out something that's obvious to anyone but an idiot.

“Do you have a reasonable expectation of privacy in your underwear or in the thighs of your body when you cover it with a skirt? And the answer is you do,” Friedman said.

It's a tough task, balancing the rights of subway scumbags against the right to thigh privacy.

Now protected by the Bill of Rights!

Some women in New York were appalled by the case. “A lot of perverts out there,” one woman told Gainer. “Horrible! I can’t believe that’s the case here,” another woman added.

I was too embarrassed and/or lazy to actually interview anyone, so here's some made-up quotes that express what a likely hypothetical reaction to this would be from an ordinary person. 

“It’s very frustrating,” another woman told Gainer. “The more time that goes by, the more rights that they have, the more loopholes that they can find and it’s just less and less safe.”

It's a mathematical equation: Time multiplied by the speed of light equals more rights, loopholes and less safety. Yes, we have discovered rights/loophole equivalence. This theory of freedom and weaseling relativity also accounts for the steady entropy state of our safety.  

Clearly the answer is less freedom.

“I’ve heard stories of people looking up skirts and such, so I definitely keep my legs together and try to cover up,” another woman said.

"After I got done getting off to those hot, hot stories I changed my public behavior."

The Massachusetts Suffolk County District Attorney’s Office has argued that people have a right to privacy beneath their own clothes and you don’t waive that right just by getting on the subway.

Unless you're at an airport, of course.

Here's a link to the original story. Don't visit this site under any circumstances, it's laden with every type of commercialized b.s. you could imagine. http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2013/11/07/mass-man-defends-snapping-upskirt-photos-as-constitutionally-protected/

Komment Korner  

The war on women by liberals continues, don't think for one second that the defendant or his female lawyer are conservatives. Nice job libtards.

One peak up a libtards skirt and you're probably bound to see a gerbal attempting to escape their arse.

What about these celeb women with nip slips, showing their coochies, rears hanging out

Hey, it's just a photon-scattering event. Nobody owns photons.

 Oh... our comments should relate to the story? Since when?

Shill Section  

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read a free excerpt here.

His first novel The Foolchild Invention is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.