Wednesday, July 22, 2015

News You Can't Use: Man Who Called 911 Sought Help Fixing His Air Conditioner

Man, it sure is hot. If we were working together I might say that and then we could have an awkward conversation about the topic of heat to help cover up our mutual loathing and crushing inner despair. Luckily, we're on the tubes, so there's no need for such social glue, allowing the subject of "Dang, it's so warm" to get the proper clinical analysis it so richly deserves. Specifically, what happens when the good old A.C. severs the silver cord, leaving you at the mercy of the wicked old Sun. It's obviously time to call for help, the primary means of "solving" any problem in today's America.

State police say a western Pennsylvania man with a penchant for making unnecessary emergency calls recently complained of chest pains so he could ask medics to help him fix his air conditioner.

Well, it's certainly consistent with the small amount we've been told about this amazing wise, wise man. Performing first aid for a dying man and fixing a broken blow box is pretty much the same skill set, isn't it?

Twenty-six-year-old Travis Turner, of Indiana, Pa., was charged Wednesday with obstructing emergency services and disorderly conduct.

If convicted he could face up to ten minutes near a jail.

Troopers say Turner has called Indiana County 911 dispatchers or the state police 63 times in the last three years for minor or harassing complaints.

We have a saying in Texas and I bet you have it in Tennessee, er, Pennsylvania as well. Fool me 62 times...shame Fool me 63...

Won't get fooled again!

In December, they charged him. The complaint later was withdrawn and Turner was warned to stop making such calls.

A stern talking to should be sufficient punishment for breaking the law several dozen times.

But police say Turner called 911 again Sunday afternoon. They say that when an ambulance arrived, Turner said he didn’t have any medical issues but needed help with his air conditioner.

Maybe "Just don't do it again, you little fully mature ragamuffin!" is not the powerful deterrent you'd expect it to be. 

Turner’s listed phone was disconnected Wednesday.

I guess Donald Trump gave out his number, too.

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Komment Korner

throw his sorry behind into a nice HOT jail cell

How much do you want to bet he votes democrat.

Obviously this is somehow a result of, oh, I don't know.....LACK OF FUNDING!

Better check to see if he has weapons

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

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