News You Can't Use: Video Shows Suspected Vandals Taking Control Of Stored Subway Train

I'm always fighting the urge to post nothing but New York insanity, all the time. Between heroin addicts dressed as Disney characters, the mole people, and criminal gangs that take over subways for the sole purpose of vandalizing them, there's enough to go around. Honestly, what would you do if you were a criminal element that had seized control of the Red Line? If your answer is "Cover it with spray paint, then leave" you've got the right attitude to take part in the latest Big Apple pathology.

A piece of newly viral video Saturday night showed a group of subway vandals striking again – this time sneaking onto a stored train and taking control of it.

Please die modern world. Do you think there were "viral books" going around a hundred years ago? "Man, you won't believe the crazy stuff in this Hemingway, check it out!" Today, we enjoy watching already sagging infrastructure get the "street art" treatment from dangerous New York underground humanoids, possibly of the cannibalistic variety.

The group, known as the Subway Conquestors, has been implicated in several other incidents in recent months.

The name of our destroy society and replace it with nothing club has a non-word in it, but I'm sure it's not the fault of the public school or anything.

An announcement and digital map indicate that the train is set to run as a D Train, but the train is of a newer model than those actually used on the D line.

This is the one that takes you through mole people land and into Electric Executioner territory, not the one where that guy with nerd glasses shot muggers.

D.J. Hammers, who uploaded the video, alleged that they used stolen subway keys.

Please Hammer, don't hurt the mass transit system. Also, I think this "alleged" statement is crazy enough to be true.

Later, the video shows a quarrel that ends with a man being struck and falling to the ground, in what appears to be an unused subway station. Details about that incident have not been learned.

If destroying inanimate objects isn't your thing we threw in a little poorly defined violence toward other biological units to help sate your sickening blood lust. Please share and subscribe.

A subway train sign that is described as having been vandalized also appears.

"When are they gonna wreck some signage? I'm getting so angry. Oh, there it is."

Police sources believe the Subway Conquestors were also responsible for an explosion in the Bronx, and have been linked to one at Brooklyn’s Nostrand Avenue station in April.

Explosion in the Bronx, no one actually noticed or cared.

Rail enthusiast Max Diamond said the acts are getting more extreme as the vandals try to one up each other. They have been accused of changing destination signs to confuse passengers, surfing train cars, and stealing Metropolitan Transportation Authority equipment and gear.

I own a model railroad, which qualifies me to discuss transportation and collapse of America issues with the media.

Yes, but is it art?

“It’s extremely dangerous. The tools and keys they have give them full control over subway trains just like any other employee of the MTA — which is incredibly scary, because this is 16, 17-year-old kids,” he said.

"I certainly don't let my kids get anywhere near my toy train sets."

Don't bother with the ad-intensive source:  http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2015/05/16/video-subway-vandals/

Komment Korner  

Studies show that thugs will stop assaulting a victim once you have killed them.

Must be those darn Japanese exchange students.

I'm surprised this comment section is still open.

"snuck"? And this girl reporter no doubt graduated form journalism school.

Someone should have used an axe on your mom's fallopian tubes before you were born

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.