Friday, May 8, 2015

News You Can't Use: Tourists Flock to Experience Real-Life Cremation in ‘Death Simulator’ at Chinese Amusement Park

Nothing says psychological health and a general smooth running of the human machinery more than a fascination with your own mortality and the actual physical mechanics of the death process. Sadly, the ability to indulge this perfectly ordinary interest has been limited to totally indecipherable death metal lyrics, cemetery picnics and coffin window shopping. It's no surprise that in the realm of pretending to address the final mystery of life China is totally smoking our ass, just like in everything else. Now a fully functional death simulator has been produced by our money-loaning and lead toy importing friends and the tourists can't get enough of it.

Tourists around the world are being drawn to a bizarre 'death simulator' at a Chinese amusement park, that offers you the chance to experience cremation.

I guess I should learn to temper my high expectations when reading back page news, but this is a pretty serious bring-down. It's more a "getting set on fire" simulator than a chance to explore the dark crossing into whatever is or isn't there. You're deceptive, British online news source.

The ride, called 'The Cremator', offers the morbidly curious to opportunity to find out what it might feel like to be cremated using a system of hot air and light projections.

What we have here is a more extreme version of the buried alive experience, where somehow they skipped all the embalming goodness and are feeding your still living body into the high heat. I don't know if a heater and creative lighting can do justice to something that horrific, but it's one of those "I gots to know" situations, apparently.

But punters at the 'Window of the World' amusement park must first be settled into their temporary coffins, according to the People's Daily Online.

Here's what happens to the "punters" that can't reliably get the ball within the twenty yard line. Fair punishment, I think.

The Window of the World park is a 'cultural theme park' in Shenzhen that boasts an incredible range of attractions crammed into its 48 hectares.

The fun thing with getting your news from Airstrip One is all the words that I either don't understand or have no conception of their significance. We don't know 'bout no hectares here in Murrka, just high fat foods and gun violence.

Among these are an astonishing 130 models of the world's most famous landmark attractions in miniature, including Buckingham Palace, the Eiffel Tower, the Colosseum, the Leaning Tower of Pisa and Mount Rushmore.

Ok, we've seen the tiny version of the Kremlin. Let's go get cremated before the line gets ridiculous.

The experience begins with a journey through the 'morgue', following which they are placed in a coffin and put on a conveyor belt.

Beware any endeavor that begins with a trip to a simulated morgue.

Screams and shrieks echo through the chamber, and everyone who tries the ride comes out drenched in sweat.

This could be re-branded in the USA as the "mild cardiovascular exercise" simulator and it would probably be just as scary for most people.

Although whether the sweat is from fear or from the extreme heat has not been made clear.

Try tasting it. Terror sweat has that sickly sweetness.

Prepare to have your remaining dignity burned away.

'I am never coming back,' said a number of women on leaving the ride, while laughing nervously.

The people love it!

Staff at the ride said that the 'cremation' effect is actually a clever use of hot air machines, which pump out air at 40 degrees Celsius.

I just found out what a "hectare" is, now this. That's hot, I guess.

The staff explained that the customers who are passing through the ride feel a sudden blast of hot air, 'which makes them feel as though they are being cremated'.

You have to use your imagination a little.

Full Article.

Komment Korner

Looks hi tech

what strange people.........40°C isn't anything close to being 'like a crematorium', crematorium ovens are 870 to 980 °C....

That culture is really starved for entertainment

I went to that place the year it opened and the models were fantastic, 5 yeas later & it looks like a dump Many of the models are broken and the miniature statues have been stolen.

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

No comments:

Post a Comment