Sunday, January 29, 2017

News You Can't Use: 2 Ran Drug Operation Through NH Burger

How about a story highlighting the unbelievably banal adventures of the world's dumbest criminals? Honestly, this one is amazing, featuring human units who were able to parlay a fast food job ($15 an hour, make it happen socialism!) into time behind bars via attempting to provide a product that can cure all diseases and makes excellent rope, only to run afoul of the law, so-called. An effort to turn a Burger King into the Netherlands version, or at least what I would imagine because I didn't go to a Burger King there, ends in predictable disaster. There's probably some sort of lesson in all this, but you're really bringing me down, man.

Police said they managed to bag a pair of street-level drug dealers using a local fast food drive through to sell marijuana.

I'm sure you feel a lot safer now and rightly so.

Epping Police Chief Mike Wallace said Thursday that Raymond residents Garrett Norris, 20, and Meagan Dearborn, 19, were arrested Saturday after police were tipped off to the drug operation using the Burger King restaurant drive-through window.

Time for some of that "free college" for generation nothing. Or at least you can pretend it's college, I'm sure there's a library or whatever in the prison.

"We obtained enough evidence that pointed to the employee, Norris, was selling marijuana though the drive-through. It was substantiated with the with sting operation. We went in later that evening and arrested him and the shift manager," said Wallace.

This arrest cost taxpayers thousands of dollars, but at least the Devil Plant has been temporarily inconvenienced.

Wallace said buyers would arrive at the restaurant and ask for "Nasty Boy." "Once it was verified he was working they had to ask for their fries extra crispy." Money was exchanged at the drive-through window.

I feel a song coming on.
Gimme a beat!

Sittin' in the drive-thru line, thinkin' nasty thoughts, huh
Better be crispy fries or you turn me off, huh
That's right,
a-let me exchange money

Nasty Nasty boys, don't mean a thing, huh
Oh you nasty boys
Nasty Nasty boys, don't ever change, huh
Oh you nasty boys!

The drugs were not put with any food ordered but were sold in a separate container.

That Big King made you hallucinate because the mystery sauce (what could it possibly be???) had turned rancid, not because it had Satan's hair in it.

We always heard rumors that employees were selling illicit drugs through some fast food restaurants. It was never substantiated until Saturday night."

Sherlock Holmes versus the Evil Professor this ain't.

Police say the operation did not involve the franchise owners and was restricted to the two employees arrested.

No one who isn't poor will be punished, don't worry.

Norris was charged with possession of a controlled drug with intent to distribute. Dearborn was charged with conspiracy to distribute a controlled drug. She also faces charges of unlawful possession of alcohol.

My life can't get any worse, I'm working in fast food. Wrong.

Komment Korner  

I just spit my oatmeal

Money from a national , big name business, is usually the goal

There is still no Amendment to US Constitution making any drug illegal.

I love how the cops assume she was part of it

What a Whopper of a story!

The actual food they sell causes people to actually get sick and die

Well they do say, "Have it your way."

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here. 

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