Saturday, January 21, 2017

DotTeeVee: Liberal Protester screams in agony as Trump sworn in

What happens when the "everybody gets a trophy" set encounters something that the rest of us call "reality?" The short answer is, of course, hilarity. The marginally longer answer is a video that completely encapsulates the generation nothing experience in twenty-six amazing seconds. You didn't get your way, so now it's time to lose with dignity (dignity optional). It's time to literally shake, fail miserably to "even" and reenact a scene from George Lucas space film onanism.

Today's amazing video takes place at the inauguration of our 45th President. Yes, Donald Trump has been President for less than twenty-four hours and we're already getting human-shaped memes. In light of this, maybe it is actually possible to get tired of winning. The video opens with the historic announcement while a blob of progressive protoplasm responds by screaming "Nooooo!!!!" like this is an episode of Walker: Texas Ranger and you just witnessed your only child brutally murdered by Kung Fu using druggers. This primal yell is followed by the classic head drop. In five seconds of footage you've learned almost everything you need to know about modern America.

We drive on the right side of the road here. Now your education is complete.

The video isn't, of course, as there's another mournful howl from our androgynous millennial, followed by what looks like a pose Jimi Hendrix might do on stage while burning a guitar. It's really bizarre stuff, as both hands form devil horns and/or go Texas University gestures while the impotent howling continues. This is our nation's future.

  Metallica rules!

The camera awkwardly pans back to the row of protestors behind this performance artist and sadly they're much more sedate than the last line of resistance to American Fascism currently having a tantrum in front of them. On the other hand we do get to see an older True Believer with a "Try Trump for Treason" (???) sign. I wonder what goes through the mind of someone old enough to know better when they realize they've thrown in with emotionally incontinent and terminally ignorant youth. The most probable answer is "nothing at all," but I like to pretend something more is occurring, out of a bizarre sense of respecting my elders, no matter how comical their behavior.

Another person is holding a sign that says "Worst Swamp Ever," presumably meant to be read in a Comic Book Guy voice. I'm not even sure what that's supposed to mean in this context, but the meltdown is continuing and demands our returned attention.

Too much idiocy for one hand.

Another head drop, nearly a head plummet this time, and we're done. I guess we should just be happy you didn't break any windows. Best of luck when you return to student loan day care, you're going to need it.

Komment Korner  

My only wish in life is to fly a plane over these anti-Trump protests and air drop McDonald's applications.

Sergeant Toasty This is a Republic.


Reminds me of the 4 year olds you see in the candy aisle after their parents told them no.

Wow last time the democrats reacted like this is when the republicans freed there slaves

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.   

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