Space aliens are bad at communicating. Their current strategies illustrate this well-reasoned fact quite well: abducting and probing rural Americans, using their lasers to carve up our cattle and replacing our leaders with reptile shape-shifters. They apparently don't know what a phone is and so the above nonsense seemed the next best solution. Well, that and radio signals that seem to be just not-random enough to suggest some sort of intelligence.
In 1967 British astronomer Jocelyn Bell Burnell was left stunned by mysterious pulsing signals she detected coming from outside the solar system.
This was the sort of wicked sexy stuff I thought I'd be getting into when I took that "Space for Jocks" elective in college, but instead it was a bunch of math.
For months she suggested the signals could be of an extraterrestrial intelligent origin, but they were later proven to be rapidly spinning stars known as pulsars.
She then faded back into well-deserved obscurity.
However, a new series of mysterious signals, known as Fast Radio Bursts (FRBs), has again got astronomers scratching their heads and wondering if, maybe, we’re picking up alien messages.
"Learning the obvious lessons of incidents from 1967" is not the strong suit of your average professional star-gazer.
The mystery stems from the fact it is not known what could produce such a short and sharp burst.
Let the wild speculation begin! By the time the unbelievably mundane explanation is revealed we'll all get some of that sweet, fleeting "Science Fame."
This has led some to speculate they could be anything from stars colliding to artificially created messages.
Incredibly, the "stars colliding" explanation is arguably even less credible.
The radio emission was so dispersed, experts suggested it must have come from a great distance away, possibly billions of light-years.
My doctorate in "What Seems Possible Studies" lends extra weight to this just-so explanation.
Theories so far include flaring stars, white dwarfs merging, neutron stars colliding and – most intriguingly – alien signals.
Other possibilities include swamp gas, ball lightning, sleep paralysis, you were drunk/high, false memory syndrome, etc.
It would be fantastic if this was an alien signal as the knowledge that we are not alone in this vast universe would have a dramatic impact on our perception of our place in the scheme of things.
"We could start blaming the E.T. people for not preventing World War 2 and so on!"
It will take further studies and observations in future to truly determine where they come from, and what is causing them. Until then, it’s difficult to rule any particular theory out of the window.
Because a theory is an idea without physical substance and as such can't be put through windows.
aliens dont exist, stop researching this and keep it hidden from the public
Silly atheist scientists, God only created life on one planet.
How can anyone believe in such rubbish. It's just a page fillet
We thought once that there was only this planet
I believe the aliens and martians can see how weak OBAMA is and are planning to attack.