Wednesday, February 8, 2017

News You Can't Use: San Francisco Strip Club Patrons Allege Rip-Off

I'm a tireless advocate for the ultimate unsung hero: the consumer. And yes, this includes the consumer of crotch friction from a student loan debt slave while "Pour Some Sugar on Me" plays in the background. Battling the trick bags that occur in the "Want a dance handsome" industry is nothing new for me, but today's story is, by any standard, journalistic dynamite. If you think I'm zealous about protecting your g-string dollars, check out the Investigative Unit (ha ha, "unit") whose mission statement is "Holding the Powerful Accountable." Let's be honest, there's no one more powerful than an aspiring actress trying to pay off college tuition one grind session at a time and the total and complete scumbags pulling the wires behind the Eighties Night deejay. Yes, it's time to go to war in defense of your gentleman's club value. Somewhere that guy who tried to throw quarters at the "performers" is giving a massive thumbs up.

Police confirm at least four San Francisco strip clubs are under criminal investigation after more than 20 patrons filed reports against them, claiming the clubs ran up large, unauthorized charges on their credit or debit cards.

I stuffed my credit card down her thong and the next thing you know I owe five figures to an off-shore bank.

Police say at least 14 others have filed police reports claiming they were ripped off to the tune of thousands of dollars at the North Beach adult entertainment hotspots. The clubs deny the allegations, saying the claims amount to nothing more than buyer’s remorse. 

Which side of pure human garbage you support in this dispute probably says a lot about your personality.

The targets of the criminal probe, according to court documents, are four clubs tied to Seattle-based entertainment company Déjà Vu: Little Darlings, Garden of Eden, Roaring 20’s, and the New Century Theater. 

I'm not gonna lie, this all sounds incredibly classy.

“Don’t go in, just don’t go there,” said one of the alleged victims, who asked he only be identified by his first name, Steve.

I like to imagine "Steve" delivered this doom prophecy while staggering along the side of a road in badly torn clothes, covered in his own blood.

“It’s a very pleasing and alluring front, but you don’t know what’s going to happen to you once you go in there.”

Sort of like Burger King.

Steve’s story begins on a night just before Christmas in 2014 as he walked to a bar in his North Beach neighborhood.

Christmas Eve in the bare-breast bar. This man must be the world's happiest and best adjusted human being.

“It was late, I was lonely, you know?” Steve said. “I passed by Little Darlings. A couple of very attractive women said, ‘Hey, where you going buddy?’”

They used their female powers to siphon away money in record time. I mean, I'm not made of stone and the borderline pedophile name of the club kinda sealed the deal.

n hour-and-a-half later, Steve said he expected to pay a $200 tab for a lap dance. But he says the dancer told him his debit card had been declined, so he withdrew cash from the club’s ATM to pay her.

That feel when you might have to wash dishes backstage at "Little Darlings" for hours to pay back being given a "semi" for ten minutes.

“When I got home, I had a bad feeling,” Steve said. “I checked my balance and it was empty.”

Steve said his account was drained of $2,500. He complained to his bank, but they sided with the club in the dispute, pointing to his signature on the receipt.

The bank was in on the scam, too! Where can a sleazy pervert who celebrates the Birth of Christ in the Boom Boom Room turn for justice?

“I didn’t sign a receipt,” Steve said. “An ATM receipt for $2,200 with a $300 tip? No f***ing way.”

I also use casual profanity, in case you still had some lingering sympathy for me.

In his police report, Steve relayed his fear that the club got his signature off his driver’s license, which had been scanned at the door.

This is truly a case worthy of the greatest detectives. Don't you see, Watson? They could get the signature from there!

“I handed her my card,” Steve said. “I didn’t expect skullduggery.”

Now that I'm too broke to afford making loose women briefly tolerate my presence I spend my evenings reading the dictionary and expanding my vocabulary.

“We don’t know exactly what’s going on, but we know something is definitely going,” said San Francisco police spokesman Sgt. Mike Andraychak.

Something is happening, that's for sure. As for what, no one can say.

Two told police they passed out after being served beer that they believe was drugged. One wound up in the hospital, where tests showed he had cocaine, methamphetamine and even the common ingredient in cough syrup in his system.

The old "I was actually drugged at the Garden of Eden" method of explaining away your meth habit to potential employers.

He told police he had already been drinking when he was offered a beer at the club, and ended up passing out soon after.

I know, that's something that's never happened before in the history of alcoholic beverages.

When he came to, he discovered that he had been charged $90,000 on what should have been a $1,600 tab.  

A nearly six figure bill from an establishment where most transactions are done with Mr. Washington. Is such a thing even possible.

Representatives of Déjà Vu declined to be interviewed for the story, but in a statement, a public relations firm says the four clubs are independently owned and that they were not aware of any investigation. They suggest the claims amount to buyer’s remorse.

We don't know anything, someone else owns my clubs, there's no investigation, these pervs are probably sore or something. Good grief, just let these people talk and they incriminate themselves in record time.

“I think the message here is if you want to have a lap dance, it’s buyer beware,” Clark said. “And that’s really the key here.”

This is the best advice. If we ever get an 11th Commandment, this is my vote.

And for Steve, although it might be awkward, he just wants to make a stand.

No, seriously, you're a freakin' hero dude. I want you to win and I'm not joking.

“If you don’t stand up and fight back, you’re going to be robbed all the time, and I don’t want to live like that,” he said.

Music from the "Braveheart" soundtrack plays.

Full Article. 

Komment Korner

you could buy a ticket to portland, indulge in multiple clubs with hotter women, and still save money compared to going to a bay area club. true story :-)

With all those victims and a clear modus operandi (lifting signature off the DL) they have no case? I smell a San Francisco City complicitous rat.

I h­­a­­v­­e m­­a­­d­­e ­­$­­1­­8­­4­­8­­7­­ ­­t­­h­­i­­s m­­o­­n­­t­­h w­­o­­r­­k­­i­­n­­g­­ o­­n­­l­­i­­n­­e f­­r­­o­­m h­­o­­m­­e.

What has your BS ad have to with this story, mfer?

Jay has a point though.

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.  

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