After paying $350 for a private dance at a gentlemen’s club, a Montana man called police to complain that the stripper did not have sex with him.
And yet there's a few cranks out there that think the coarsening of society is not entirely a force for good.
I don't know what part of "Take your keys out of your pockets so you don't damage my butt implants" this guy interpreted as an invitation to the adult act. It's almost as if this is a sleazy idiot and not the "gentlemen" of high quality such a night spot generally attracts.
William McDaniel, 53, paid for the dance Saturday evening at Sagebrush Sam’s Exotic Dance Club and Casino in Rocker, a Butte suburb.
Nothing says "exotic" like a western shrub combined with a common male name. And hey, semi-legal gambling! I wonder if he would have made the same emergency call if someone split up two tens in blackjack.
But when he did not get the expected sex, he dialed 911 to register a consumer complaint.
"Nine One One. What's your emergency?"
"I'm at a strip club and spending money without result. Help!"
This was a mistake on McDaniel’s part.
This is about as true a statement as you'll ever read.
Did not receive "handsome John" discount.
After questioning McDaniel, police arrested him for offering money for sexual favors, a misdemeanor. He was booked into the Butte-Silver Bow Detention Center, from which he was released Sunday morning after posting bond.
Sometimes it's just one of those days. First my wet-brain attempts to pay for intimacy fell through, then The Man is more interested in punishing the victim than correcting this horrific injustice.
It is unclear whether McDaniel (seen in the above mug shot) allegedly sought the sex in the Champagne Room at Sagebrush Sam’s, which has only one review on Yelp.
The lack of proper internet vetting from middle-age scumbags should have been a red flag.
In March, “Dan M.” complained that the club “is dirty and smells like vomit” and needed a “complete makeover.”
Vomit and filth. Feeling amorous yet? I'm also looking forward to "Extreme Makeover: Semi-Brothel Edition" where we can tell the uplifting tale of cleaning up regurgitated food and making a "Champagne Room" worthy of having a ten minute long "date."
He added, “Even the stripper pole looked like it was going to break loose from the floor. Cleanliness and attitude need to be addressed. I will not go back.
"After five hours and several hundred dollars I left in disgust."
I was with a guy in the late 1970's and we drove to the South Bronx New York City and he got ripped off by streetwalkers and went to a nearby cop car. The cop told him if I arrest them I will also arrest you for solicitation! This guy was not playing with a full deck obviously. Good thing he didn't get arrested because I was 15 at the time and didn't know how to drive! South Bronx at night and a white teen is not a good mix to be out on the streets! BTW, I didn't get ripped off and had a happy ending in record time. Oh my gawd, she was so fugly, I was so happy to get that over with.
Wow, Brian Cox, Mike Ditka, and Tom Arnold had a love child.
where the heck is His Sign???
Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read free excerpts here and here.
His first novel "The Foolchild Invention" is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.