Wednesday, November 12, 2014

News You Can't Use: Two Calif. Women Camp-Out In Front Of Best Buy, 22 Days Ahead Of Black Friday

We're fast approaching a major holiday that is celebrated by the ritual waiting for and purchasing of various imported junk electronics. It might also have some minor religious significance, but I can't really confirm that. What I can say for sure is that everyone is excited about this chance to purchase East Asia bounty at a minor discount. Excited enough to begin the urban camping season well in advance. Materialism is the answer and the question doesn't even matter any more.

Two California women have already arrived at a Beaumont Best Buy to begin their annual camp-out – 22 days ahead of Black Friday sales.

You'll want to get that sort of early jump on this, because foreign-made moron boxes and idiot phones are almost as rare in America as two liter sodas. If you miss out Friday, you'll probably never get one. It's like a Soviet bread line, with the nourishment changed from the Staff of Life to the miracle Chinese glow boxes.

Vickey Torres of Cabazon and Juanita Salas of Beaumont arrived for their annual Black Friday camping set-up outside of the Beaumont Best Buy store, Banning-Beaumont Patch reports.

The rich pageant of a life so stuffed full of valuable societal contribution that waiting in front of a box-store to get a shot at slightly cheaper products that weren't made in America takes precedence over everything else, including, say, spending the time working which would allow the ridiculously high regular price to be easily paid. No, this makes more sense and is healthier from an existential perspective.

The women plan to spend the full 22 days outside of the electronic retailer in hopes of landing the best deals for the infamous “first come, first served” Thanksgiving night rush.

Can't wait for the annual tradition of every vaguely human animal against every other one in a battle for shiny things from the Orient.

“We could have started later, but then we wouldn’t be sure to get first in line,” Torres told Patch on Friday, as she and Salas sat under the hot sun in front of the Best Buy. “They only get a few items at the cheaper prices and it’s first come, first served.”

"I know it's not at all logical, but look at all the holiday fun we're having!" *sits for hours in oppressive California heat, cooking in own juices*

Torres and Salas said they have camped out in front of Best Buy for “the last few years,” with the two women taking turns to go home and shower, eat.

This is the sort of thing that one would look back on with satisfaction on the death bed. "I'm sure glad I spend all those days in front of a store waiting."

Although deals for Best Buy’s Black Friday are yet to be released, Torres and Salas said they are ultimately looking to land a good deal on a television this year.

It is extremely difficult to find an affordable television in the U.S.A.


“Some people say we’re crazy,” said Torres, adding that such comments don’t bother her in the least. 

"They used to bother me, but now that I've completely lost my mind and soul to consumerism, it doesn't matter."

Please don't visit the ironically ad-riddled source:  

Seriously, just when I thought I'd suppressed all the ads the freaking page reloaded. Yeah. You want to know what the future looks like? Imagine a page full of click-bait b.s. reloading itself. Forever. 

Komment Korner 

I'm not 100% sure, but last time I checked you weren't allowed to buy electronics with food stamps.

Someone should come by after dark, pretend to be drunk, and pee on the sidewalk right near them. 
(Yeah, "pretend." - Ed)

Have these ladies not heard of opportunity costs? 

Gee, won't they be missing out on pay from not going to work? (sarcasm)

I wonder if Obama will have the White Hut chef cook up a Beagle for them?

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Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read free excerpts here and here.

His first novel "The Foolchild Invention" is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

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