Wednesday, April 2, 2014

News You Can't Use: Vegetarians Less Healthy, Lower Quality Of Life Than Meat-Eaters

I eat food. That's all there is to it, it's not a political statement or ideological minefield. If you told me my diet could be better, I'd laugh, agree with you and then make absolutely no changes. Somehow this works out and I've managed to neither waste away or develop real curves that you probably couldn't handle. Still, there are times, in my weaker moments when my natural hatred of cows and pigs has been temporarily appeased, when I wonder if there isn't a better a way, a way of glistening health, weak bones, madness, premature death and lots of self-satisfaction.

Vegetarians may have a lower BMI and drink alcohol sparingly, but vegetarian diets are tied to generally poorer health, poorer quality of life and a higher need for health care than their meat-eating counterparts.

No booze. Bad health. Constantly swiping that Obama card. This is why no one ever says "Man, I want to party hardy with those awesome vegetarians!"

A new study from the Medical University of Graz in Austria finds that vegetarians are more physically active, drink less alcohol and smoke less tobacco than those who consume meat in their diets.

This clean living earns a short of life of misery. As you might expect.

But the vegetarian diet — characterized by a low consumption of saturated fats and cholesterol that includes increased intake of fruits, vegetables and whole-grain products — carries elevated risks of cancer, allergies and mental health disorders.

Who knew that "can't stop yapping about my allegedly superior life style" is a mental illness. Eat a steak, it'll fix your developing psychosis.

Vegetarians were twice as likely to have allergies, a 50 percent increase in heart attacks and a 50 percent increase in incidences of cancer.

The vegetables do try to warn you off with their horrible taste. Will we see laws limiting and outlawing their consumption now? Or at least federal mandates on required burger intake? We've got to get those health care costs down, after all. This ballpark frank could save your life.

The most significant dietary habit difference between meat-eaters and vegetarians concerned their BMI and alcohol consumption – with both being higher for those who consume meat.

Well, it's not like you're going to have a beer to help bring out the delicious taste of that bowl of battered carrots and organic brown something or other.

Many past studies have instead put an emphasis on the health risks associated with red meat and carnivorous diets, but this study points the other dietary direction.

Everything you eat will kill you. You are going to die. The grave awaits. The common fate of humanity. Stop pretending this isn't true.

However, the researchers do caution that continuing studies will be needed to substantiate some of the rather broad dietary distinctions, associations presented in this current research.

"We're gonna need more money, of course."

"We don't. Which is why I've had three heart attacks and suffer from paranoid schizophrenia."

Vegetarians reported higher levels of impairment from disorders, chronic diseases, and “suffer significantly more often from anxiety/depression.”

I can see how eating endless foul tasting and hard-to-chew koala food could cause that depression.

Subjects who consumed lower amounts of animal fat were also linked to poor health care practices, such as avoidance of vaccinations and a lack of preventive care.

You mean that girl from "Singled Out" isn't a trustworthy source of health care information? No. I don't believe it. Yelling in an annoying fashion while directing all the guys with smaller endowments off a stage makes you more credible than any so-called doctor.

The researchers conclude: “Our study has shown that Austrian adults who consume a vegetarian diet are less healthy (in terms of cancer, allergies, and mental health disorders), have a lower quality of life, and also require more medical treatment.”

The line "Yeah. Suck on that health freaks." was removed from the final draft.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention notes that healthy diets rich in fruits and vegetables may reduce the risk of cancer and other chronic diseases for all dietary groups.

As long as that healthy diet also contains plenty of dead animals and healthy brown liquors. 

Komment Korner  

Vegetarian: Old Indian word for "Bad Hunter"

Ever met a vegetarian that isn't blowing their nose or coughing? Every vegetarian I know is constantly sick.

coarse they are going to die, they are not vegan they are test subjects of BIG FARMER!

There is nothing like a ham and cheese sandwitch.

Fifteen people and all are dead. Draw your own conclusions.

Check Out My Books!

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read a free excerpt here.

His first novel The Foolchild Invention is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

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