Sunday, June 2, 2013

DotTeeVee: Bullet proof your home for SHTF

With the imminent fall of the sky creeping closer it makes sense to start getting super serious about ways to survive the coming Armageddon. I'm talking things like "bug-out bags" and "100,000 rounds of ammunition, minimum," and don't let the Obama-care zombies bite you and so forth. No doubt these ideas will be vindicated, assuming their advocates survive the initial explosion of violence, which does seem pretty presumptuous. Assuming you last long enough, you can then start thinking about making your house bullet proof!

Bring it on, NWO!!!

After displaying the above image out unseen narrator introduces himself as "patriot survival" because nothing is more synonymous with patriotism than constantly imagining all against all scenarios and how you're going to run and hide during them. He proposes a new answer to SHTF or WROL scenarios and frankly it's about time. Apparently "prepping" is full of this sort of lame jargon, because using code words is fun and it's neat to be part of the Sure To Survive The End club. Let's set our decoder rings and keep watching.

Stock up on these while it's still legal!

Unfortunately the new secret weapon against The Beast System turns out to be old grass bags. I have to admit I was a little disappointed, even if our heroic patriot imagines deploying them for bug-in (???) scenarios as well as building "super strong permanent underground bunkers." Before we start creating fortified kill zones in front of our trailer park, we need to discuss the pro and contra as compared to "sand bags." The seed bag is larger, but suffers from a lack of UV protection, meaning the sun will wreck it. Since we're going to be living like moles after the O-bombing I really don't see this as a big deal.

The true American Republic lives this hole.
The Omega Man talks about leaving some of these bags lying on his "gun range," lest we start worrying that there are some stereotypes he doesn't conform to. I'd bet money he has several "how to turn your home into an ammo dump" videos, but let's focus on the bags, please. Speaking of which, we get an endless shot of one such bag, as if it's so interesting we have to thoroughly document it. Dynamic imagery is not exactly a strong suit for this survivor.

We discuss "earth bag building." "They've built museums out of them," we are told. After the bag rots away you've got shaped earth, I guess. I can see the utility, but "museums?" Really? Apparently this happened in California and wasn't just any museum, but a "large museum." Man, that crazy west coast. It sure will be a shame when it all is devoured by cleansing fire during SHTF and/or WROL

"This here is gonna be a museum."
We get more abbreviations and advice on taking your hillbilly sand bags along to the "bug-out location." Time to wrap up this fantasy with the suggestion of a possible "fire fight" where seed bags full of soil just might help you defeat the Obamunists or whatever. Then we get the usually "please like this video" begging that seems out of place from someone who expects the shoe to fall any day now. Those "likes" ain't gonna help you when Big Brother comes to get you, friend. 

For many more good ideas for that bug-out location I recommend this book.

Komment Korner

They will just burn you out.

Become friends with your neighbors and fellow citizens less work and safer as well. 

 awesome is that ur bug out location

 That is brilliant.

Aaron Zehner's first novel The Foolchild Invention is available in e-book format at and Barnes & Noble.

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