Today's bit of worthless current events has a little bit of everything. We've got a headline that confuses deputy gladiator rings with "Fight Club," a mistake you might make if you're culturally illiterate and have also never watched an episode of "Walker: Texas Ranger," leaving a very small demographic indeed. The story itself provides ample grist for whatever political axe you have to grind, from "We're a prison planet, man" gray pony tail onanism to "Look at what the dumbocrats do when they have power" internet commentators and whatever increasingly non-existent moderate middle still remains. The upshot is we're going to break both the first and second rules of Sheriff Deputy
Fight Club Gladiator Battles and talk about it in great depth.
Three San Francisco sheriff's deputies were charged with arranging "Fight Club" duels between jail inmates, and one of the deputies made prisoners gamble for food, clothing and bedding, prosecutors said on Tuesday.
The whole point of "Fight Club," was, of course, the struggle for existential meaning and resistance against a soul-killing system, a theme that would have been somewhat undermined if the hero was a prisoner told by Deputy Corruption he'll be fighting for ownership of bedding. Or maybe just throwing dice for bedding, it could be that, too, I guess.
The criminal charges came as newly elected San Francisco Sheriff Vicki Hennessy was implementing jail reforms, such as increased use of video cameras, to prevent such offences.
That new broom sure sweeps clean. We're going to reduce the amount of organized inmate brawls by putting cameras everywhere because this is the closest thing we have to a caring God in today's world.
The two current San Francisco sheriff's deputies and one former deputy were expected to surrender within two days, said Max Szabo, a spokesman for the prosecutors.
Please turn yourself in so we can severely punish your aberrant behavior. Don't go ruining the honor system for everyone else, all right?
Prosecutors brought the most serious charges against ex-deputy Scott Neu, including assault by an officer, criminal threats and inhumanity to a prisoner. He could be sentenced to 10 years in prison if convicted.
On today's episode of "Baby's First Bitter Irony" we've got an inherently dehumanizing prison system that's worried about the inhumanities committed by individual officers and to show how serious we are about that we'll make offenders faceless numbers in the same broken system.
On March 5, 2015, Neu pitted two jail inmates against each other, threatening to use a taser gun against them unless they fought, prosecutors said.
Remember when Brad Pitt character did that? What do you mean, "no?"
This is just like Fight Club, down to the smallest details.
Thinking they had no choice, the inmates battled and the smaller one hurt his rib, prosecutors said. Chiba is accused of watching the melee and not stopping it.
Let's example the inner thought life of criminal scum forced to cause minor rib damage to appease their heartless captors.
The next day, Neu again forced the pair to fight and this time Jones took part in pitting the two inmates against each other, prosecutors said.
Well, yesterday's fight was a predictable disappointment that failed to satiate my sick blood lust, so let's do it again today and hope for better "action" this time.
Neu's attorney, Harry Stern, said in a statement there was no "fight club".
I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't see the connection.
"Deputy Neu allowed two inmates to wrestle to settle a minor dispute. In retrospect, he shouldn’t have. This is the sum and substance of the case," Stern said.
It was simply a club where fights were organized, certainly not a "fight club."
Hennessy, who was elected in November, said the accused deputies were stationed at an outdated jail and the alleged actions occurred under her predecessor, Ross Mirkarimi.
If only there were up-to-date bars and concrete walls everyone would have no doubt conducted themselves with quiet dignity.
Wellington turns out to be a fictional creation of his own mind.
"I'm not going to say it's his fault. What I am going to say is we need to do more there," Hennessy said in a phone interview.
More tax and spend, the constant solution for unending problems.
District Attorney George Gascón said in a statement that subjecting inmates "to degrading and inhumane treatment makes a mockery of (the) justice system."
Now to get back to ignoring White collar crime.
Komment Korner
Its a privilege to work in a public employment capacity.
Hey that's a good idea. Fight Clubs
Why oh why do so many non-criminal citizens have little or no trust with LEAs and police officers? Why oh why?
10 years is getting off easy.
San Francisco, that's a liberal stronghold isn't it?
Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.
