DotTeeVee: Sovereign Citizens Getting Owned 2 COMPILATION, Part II

Previously on Sovereign Citizens Getting Owned we met a nervous weedhead, a man who honestly thought public freakouts were protected under The Unwritten Laws and a guy who looked like what the Chucky doll from "Child's Play" would become if he was somehow made fully human and aged into a socially maladroit forty-something. Now we're back and it's time again to create joinder with these amazing patriots fighting for our sacred rights. Rights like not having license plates, speeding, screaming at other people for no reason, you know, all that Tommy Jefferson stuff.

Instead of the customary traffic stop we start with a face-cam of a free woman of the land talking directly to us. Sanity and coherent reasoning are going to be in very short supply during this monologue. She discusses "breaking even" on "strawman bills" and I'm not even sure how to keep ridiculing this drivel. This footage is what would happen if you took PCP and then watched one of those Sunday morning political snooze-fests. "Are we talking about rezoning or redistricting?" asked the balding middle-age suit as he steps out of the television and transforms into a dozen rainbow colored birds of paradise dripping blood from their wings as they fly around the room in formation. Come on, we've all been there.

The exciting discussion of "bills" continues. I guess the idea here, and this is almost pure conjecture, is that what you pay to the state should only be just enough to keep the services running and no civil servant should be allowed to have a comfortable lifestyle as a result of this taxation. This thesis largely falls apart when she gives examples like "A bastard lost at sea." I honestly have no idea. Helpfully, some Twilight Zone music is inserted over this deranged misunderstanding of the First Principles of government.

We're then told that birth certificates are used as "collateral" following the "Bankruptcy of 1933." I'm not sure how that would work for people born after that forgotten historical tragedy, but on the other hand I have a reasonable grasp on what we call "reality." The good news is you call file some bureaucratic paperwork to get your "living soul" back, so take that FDR. Make sure your name is in all capital letters, though, because otherwise it won't work and the devil will get you.

There was no actual "ownage" in this segment, but wow, I really feel "woke" after all of that.

The government took my soul, but I got it back by writing my name in big letters on some form.

Incredibly, the next resistor has already been covered in glorious detail about a year ago. Are we running out of strategic "Am I being detained" reserves? Please say it isn't so. Anyway, it's our friend from "Cun-adda" who ran afoul of the Canadian version of Dirty Harry and failed to defeat maple leaf tyranny. The only difference is this version added some little animations, including "Thug Life" and the 420 sniper rifle. Whether this is an improvement on the original footage is a matter for the philosophers to examine, we're moving on.

Next up we get an awkward rotated shot of lights flashing hypnotically in the darkness while our unseen freeman insists that his arrest is actually "corporate policy." "Yeah...gonna need you to come to the jail on Saturday this week." He calls the officer "good sir" and questions the need for the lights, since there is no emergency.  The camera keeps jerking around and it might be time to use that airsickness bag, good sir. Forsooth, thou art a knave and scoundrel badge heretic, with no cause for thine cherries and blueberries.

The argument continues. "We are activists!" Give the cop a Pepsi, I'm told that calms 'em right down. "I do this all the time!" Truly you are a national treasure, good sir. Now it's time to walk away because "I control the situation!" Can you hazard a guess how this will end?

You're right, it's time to kiss pavement, while insisting that "I'm not under arrest." My eyes are closed, how can you see me? Pathetic and entertaining whining follows as Democracy Dies in the Darkness. There's some profanity (So edgy! My square button-down mind just got BLOWN) and the cuffs are applied. "You ever hear of commercial lean?" Well, have you, punk? More cussing and acting out follows. This is the hero of our time.

He actually has the stones to say "Ignorance of the law is no excuse!" While on his stomach and cuffed. Then it abruptly ends, without ever finding out the fate of the potty mouth who stood up.

You have no right to set up this jar, it violates the Paris accords of 1784.

Now it's time for a young lady who is also being detained by fascists. We're told a "dog unit" is on the way. Just like you, all obedient to like, tyranny, man. We discuss the reasons for this unlawful usurpation and it remains unclear what, exactly, is going on. Our free lady of the land does threaten to call 911, earning a laugh from the officer. I'm being harassed by the police, time to call the police. There are logical problems.

More attempts to get at the heart of the motives for this illegal and immoral detention are derailed by references to the cuteness of a dog. It turns out our subject was "nervous" which is now an arrest-able offense, it would seem. Obviously the missing scene between the awkward initial interaction and the current situation must have involved the usual sovereign citizen escalation of something that would immediately end if you demonstrated some very basic cooperation with fair authority, I mean pitiful consent to the machinery threatening to devour our souls.

Am I being detained?

Our heroine decides to initiate a twenty minute time limit, but is immediately vetoed by the jackboot patrol. The tool of a corrupt and evil system even threatens to "spike your tires" which I'm guessing doesn't mean trying to somehow pour booze into them. Oddly, the car is what is actually being held and she's free to walk away. I'm not sure how this works. Can we just park it in a cell for a few weeks, since it's what you're angry at?

Now to debate where one is allowed to stand. "Your little thing is over there!" I don't want to know. This earns hostility, but lawsuits are threatened in return. All because my dog was cute and I'm naturally twitchy. Now for the assault, complete with lots of hysterical screaming, some of which calls to mind Goofy cartoons. This is how freedom dies. "What the [fudge] is wrong with you! Are you retarded?" That's ableist. Now I don't know who to side with in this narrative.

The victim of the monopoly on violence keeps persisting with more screaming. "Get it out of me!" That's what she said! Well, it is. More arguing over who was in the way and a suggestion that she might be in trouble for assaulting a federal officer. If you want to be happy for the rest of your life never make a pretty dog your pet. Also, she got tased. That's what was in her, electrodes. Not penis. I'm glad we've settled that. Part Three next week, friends.

Komment Korner  

They should call in P BARNES for all these taz them and they likely live in their mom and step dads basement anyway bahaha    

lol she sounded like Goofy falling off a cliff  

good sir, these people are idiots.......good sir

LOL that woman with the teaser get it out of me in that arnold schwarzenegger

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse". I have a sneaking feeling he's going to be hearing those exact words from a judge.

I thought these dumbasses were exclusively American

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.   

DotTeeVee: Sovereign Citizen in Canada. Goes from Brave to Baby in 2 Seconds

I have endeavored to be as through as possible during my endless tour de force examination of the sovereign citizen war on traffic laws and general politeness, but there has been one glaring oversight. What about Canada? Are there Free Men of the Land in the Great White North? Do they incorrectly quote the Magna Carta and the NHL rule book? These thoughts have haunted my dreams and tortured the miserable hours of waking awareness. Fortunately, as if in a miraculous answer to a desperate prayer, we're finally going to see how they do things in Canadia. Grab an unusually strong beer, tuck into some of that round bacon and gooey fries, it's time to go from brave to baby in a few heartbeats.

As per tradition we pick up the action already in progress, with our hero pulled over and getting the degree absolute from tyrannical government thugs. With his voice cracking badly the faceless champion of all that is good wants to know if there's a crime he's suspected of, while the Royal Canadian Automobile Police points out "You don't have a license plate, eh."

Much like the face of war the grim leering visage of traffic stop usurpation never changes, even when you reach latitudes where, strictly speaking, the cold should wipe out all human life. The champion of Free Canucks refuses a demand for his papers, bitte from the jackboot squad and if experience has taught me anything we can expect to go in circles over this for quite awhile before finally a window gets smashed and a taser is applied to where the Free Man's legs intersect.

We discuss the "Highway Traffic Act" but sadly don't try to claim "I'm just traveling" while the camera ends up pointed at the roof of the car. This is riveting stuff, better than any scripted drama or 2 am wino fight.

You can get out of all this just by saying "I'm traveling, eh."

The last sane man points out that he's renounced all "contracts" to the law, which seems like a reasonable argument. He then claims to be part of the Republic of "Cun-adda." Talk about your masterstrokes, just slightly mispronounce the name of your country and all its laws magically go away. I ain't gettin' no plates on my travel device, sucker. I'm a citizen of Ammer-Ka. Check and mate.

While handing over papers, but not the papers the stasi want, of course, he then explains that "Canada is dissolved." It turns out America Junior is a "criminal organization." Yes, Canada is a disbanded mafia nation, just like I always suspected. We go further down the rabbit hole as the Cun-adda citizen blames the government (the one that fell apart or Cun-adda's?) for kidnapping his child. I'm not sure how this is germane to driving without plates, but on the other hand I'm an ignorant American who didn't even know about the big dissolve in the frozen wastes.

He then claims that "the judge bowed down to me" when his case went to trial. Although the footage has sadly been lost I don't see any reason to doubt this claim, especially after seeing these goofs in action in a legal setting, racking up convictions and taser shocks.

It's actually true!

The champion of individual rights just keeps rolling, shutting down the overly polite Canadian officer, even suggesting his "Oath to the Queen has been abolished." This glorious rhetorical victory is somewhat undermined by the fact that his speech patterns and general demeanor call to mind a thirteen-year-old boy trying to talk to a girl at a junior high dance, but still, take that. Just when his smugness is approaching a critical mass two other cruisers arrive. "I don't care!" insists the dissident, his voice quivering and his rat-like features contorting in obvious distress. He does recover quickly and challenges the Beast State to do its worst.

An attempt to open the car door is defeated and earns us another lecture on the rights of a Precious and Unique individual, before it's time to try to drive off. After about one second of attempted driving the guns come out. Man, you can only push the former criminal nation of dissolved Canada so far before the smiles vanish and the fangs come out. 

  Feeling lucky, eh?

We get some panicky narration, an insistence of innocence and one crazy Canuck cop who clearly plays by his own rules, is a loose cannon and causes massive property destruction but is kept around because he gets results. This tense standoff continues, with the evil authority no doubt thinking some minor variation of "Make my day" and our hero continuing to rail against the dying the northern lights. Finally, it's window breaking time. "You gonna break my window?" Yeah, I think that's the plan. 

Canada's version of the hero from the movie "Cobra" smashes the glass and demands compliance, while the Free Man swears and howls in pain. If only this could have been prevented, somehow, but I'm not about to give up my rights and sacred vows to the Queen. As the gestapoism triumphs we fade to black, dissolving away under a storm of tyranny, much like Canada herself.

Driver's side window is done like dinner.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gzISrrsGPc 

Komment Korner   

you are an idiot I hope they beat his buttt

I bet his license plate was a home made sign that said "traveler" on it. That's how these idiots operate.

cana da he pronounces canada the same way they fucking did in ren and stimpy

You guys have Wendy's in Canada?

This guy is one of those cases in which their parents should have had a condom

That guy sounds like that squeaky-voiced acne kid from The Simpsons.

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

News You Can't Use: New .sucks Domain Stirs Up Storm Over Free Speech

Looking for exciting material on the cobweb related to straws, candy canes and industrial vacuums? Well, you're in luck, because the exciting new "Dot Sucks" revolution is upon us. Think of the amazing lamprey sites! Wait, I've just been told it will be little more than garbled anger directed at broad-side-of-a-barn targets like Google, Facebook and Taylor Swift. Finally a chance to make that "Why thar no not like button on da web book" page that the world is practically begging for. Or maybe not, because it turns out the monied elites that rule over us aren't thrilled with the idea of periods and suck being placed after their names by the new breed of Solzhenitsyns eager to battle the Beast System and also bad pop music.

The new Internet domain .sucks has stirred up a firestorm over free online speech and the potential for extortion against companies and individuals.

Yes, you read correctly, extortion. We have created an AaronZehner.sucks site full of lies and character assassinations. Leave ten million in unmarked bills in a P.O. Box or suffer the full wrath of a new top level domain no one has actually heard of.

The company operating this new domain claims it is "designed to help consumers find their voices and allow companies to find the value in criticism."

We are high-minded and noble heroes who use blowjob language to appeal to humanity's worst impulses. Finally that negative review of Microsoft products will have a home, unlike now where they have successfully scoured any and all criticism from the inner-tubes.

But critics see it as a shakedown scheme designed to force companies and individuals to fork over cash to keep an unfavorable or offensive website offline.

It's so hard to pick a side in this fight, what with everyone being so completely awful.

According to media reports, Microsoft, Facebook, Google and other large companies have bought up the domains by exercising their trademark priority rights, presumably with no intent to use them. Music star Taylor Swift reportedly did the same thing.

Wow, she really can turn those tables. Trouble, trouble. Shook this one right off. Thank you lame commercial gym for forcibly exposing me to this garbage to the point where I can reference it effortlessly.

Also, our ruling reptiles seem to be really afraid of a few semi-literate dirt bags creating special "you suck" sites for them. It's almost like this all just a giant house of cards. 18 trillion in debt you say? Huh, how about that.

What has fueled concerns is that the domain registrar, a Canadian-based company called Vox Populi, is charging $2,500 for the website names -- far more than a typical website registration of $10 to $25 -- before the names are opened to the public on June 1.

Oh, Canada. It's the neighbor that seems normal enough, but has a basement full of dope and holds regular wife-swap parties. Anything goes up there, man.

This really is some sleazy stuff, in all seriousness.

The Intellectual Property Constituency, an advisory group to the global Internet domain regulator, complained last month that the "exorbitant sums" are effectively a "shakedown scheme" to get money from companies and others.

They already got their T. Swizzle money, bro. It's a little late for this.

After the June 1 deadline, online trolls or "cybersquatters" could buy up the names and then extort even higher prices, according to the group which includes film, software and music industry associations and other trademark organizations.

Another victory for the free market! Look at all the value that's being created by the invisible hand of human garbage!

The group last month urged the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN), which manages the domain system, to stop the .sucks domain before it goes live.

Please vaguely defined shadow entity, stop this Canadian evil!

"Break down the cockpit doors, American internet! Assume the controls!"

Atallah told AFP however that as a result of the complaint, ICANN decided to forward the matter to regulators in the United States and Canada.

Regulators. We regulate any stealing of billionaire intellectual property. We're damn good, too. But you can't be any geek from a vaguely defined governing body. Gotta be handy with the domains, earn your keep.

John Berard, chief executive at Vox Populi, told AFP the new domain is something that companies can use to engage with consumers, and that he sees the word "sucks" as "edgy" but not pejorative.

It might have been edgy in 1981. Now with children's programs routinely spewing the foulest of foul words, to say nothing of R-13 movies for preteens, I don't think so.

"We think we're creating an opportunity for interaction that is meaningful," he said.

I'd respect you more if you were honest about your moral leprosy, I really would.

"If a company were to establish its own .sucks site and drive that discussion to a centralized location it might be quite a valuable asset."

Think of the synergy, raised awareness, cross-branding and strategic communication these fellatio-themed sites will allow. 

Berard added that the pricing "reflects what we believe to be the value of the names."

This dot suck site is a valuable commodity! Really!

Asked about ICANN's letter to regulators, Berard said, "I don't think that anyone who takes a look will find a problem."

Please do not "mount up."

The debate comes with ICANN acting to vastly expand the number of so-called generic top-level domains (gTLDs) from the traditional ones like .com and .gov, including some such as .porn and .wine.

Well, at least we have our priorities straight. Please visit my new site at EndtheUnitedNations.wine.

Full Article

Komment Korner  

Voltaire highly influenced our Founders and Framers

Obama.sucks is already taken

www.hillary.sucks

Free speech free speech for the dumb. Free speech free speech for the dumb.

Why not ".sux?"

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.