Civilization V Countdown: #9 Byzantium

We pick up the most scientifically and aesthetically pleasing attempt to rank the civilizations with the Eastern Roman Empire! Because being able to play as Rome, Greece and The Ottoman Empire isn't adequate coverage of this geographic region, not even close. I want to experience what Gibbon regarded as an extra thousand years worth of less interesting decline and collapse.

Why is Byzantium #9?

Greek fire! The dromon might be my favorite unique unit in the entire game, from the flamethrower animation when it attacks to the ability to conquer coastal cities early in the game when there's little your enemies can do about it. Then upgrade those experienced dromons into galeasses and then frigates to take even more cities. The religion bonus is one extra choice from any of the categories is also fun, providing almost as much entertainment as reading posts by people whining that they get a religious bonus but no help with faith and you obviously wouldn't prioritize shrines or a pantheon or display any situational awareness whatsoever. As for Theodora, I love how lazed-out she always is, just maxin' and relaxin' on a balcony no matter how bad things are going and generally resembling a "Did you get a job today?" teen more than one of history's most interesting women.

I'll do my homework later.

Most Memorable Game as Byzantium?

I was looking to perform some of that peaceful turtle power and maybe spread my extra-strength Orthodoxy, but my neighbor was the Huns, so you can guess how well that went. I conquered one of their cities with my dromons and some spearmen, made peace and pretty much assumed that was the end of that. Then they started another war and took their city back. I was upgrading my badly out-of-position navy for revenge, but then the game was abandoned in favor of a new beginning, probably as one of the top eight yet to be revealed. As much as I enjoy playing the Second Rome, I really haven't had many remarkable games with them, as you probably guessed after reading the above anecdote.

All those Greek words roughly translate to "get rekt."

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.