News You Can't Use: Watching People Eat Is Big in Korea; Now It’s in the U.S.

Is it possible to become too passive, voyeuristic and, frankly, broken to the point where the internet won't cater to your needs anymore? Clearly not, but what about the desire to watch others eat? The process of mastication is indeed one of the most beautiful mysteries of nature and you might even learn some new tricks. Then there's the comforting illusion of social interaction with any chance of failure removed by the one-way nature of the exchange. We might not have those wall-sized televisors yet (patience, patience) but we're clearly getting closer to finding ways to completely simulate a normal human existence while remaining a pathetic troglodyte.

Twitch Interactive Inc., the video-game streaming service Amazon.com Inc. acquired for almost $1 billion two years ago, hinted at what could be the next sensation in Internet broadcasting: watching people eat.

Instead of watching some up-talking millennial play Bayou Billy we can now watch them shove edible objects into their gobs.

Dubbed “social eating,” the practice is popular in South Korea and is picking up steam in the U.S., Twitch Chief Executive Officer Emmett Shear said Wednesday at the TechCrunch Disrupt conference in San Francisco.

I guess it's "social eating" in the same sense you might acquire a "social disease." If those Japanese cartoon monsters waiting to be caught in quarries and artillery testing ranges taught us nothing else it's that we no longer have any resistance to terrible societal trends from the Orient. 

It’s a difficult pastime for people in the U.S. to initially grasp, he acknowledged, but he said it’s gaining traction, along with rising demand for non-gaming content.

I demand more non-gaming content on this video game streaming service! Also, there should be more shadow puppets and balloon races during NFL broadcasts.

Disbelief about the growth potential for Twitch, a platform for watching people play video games, has taught him not to discount something he doesn’t personally understand, Shear said.

"You losers, man. I don't even pretend to understand your pathology, but on the other hand I can get paid, so here's your gaping maw films."

A Twitch streamer with the user name Hacklyn was eating a bowl of soup Wednesday morning, with about 20 people watching live. She was listening to music and chatting with people about relationships while they watched her dig in.

Communication, I think is important. *sucks up noodles* Got to be open with your feelings *disgusting slurping* You can't assume your partner knows what's going on in your head. *licks bowl*

Honesty is important to your relationship, too.

Investors have been watching to see how Amazon integrates Twitch’s highly engaged audience of video game enthusiasts -- numbering 10 million daily users -- with its offerings in online shopping and streaming video and music. 

After you get done watching the vidiot games, how about buying one, sucker?

As the company further seeks to combine services from its businesses, could the the next big step be streaming video of a gaming champion eating a box of cookies delivered via Amazon drone?

Or will it be your entire city going up in flames as civilization collapses? Who knows!

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Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.