Sunday, May 15, 2016

News You Can't Use: New Mask Could Make Users Masters Of Their Dreams

Dreams. What the hell are they, anyway? It looks like we're finally ready for the major step forward in comprehending our nightly organic head chemical freak-out episodes. Finally we'll have a better weapon to use against the dream demons than turning our backs and hoping for the best. And what about all your sick fantasies not being properly catered to by stupid old reality? You can get that too, and all I need is just some of your money that you probably would have wasted anyway.

As you get ready to go to sleep tonight, think about what you want to dream about.

Then weep when you realize that what you're asking for is all the problems and stress of the past day to take on horrific twisted forms and attack when you're completely helpless. Well, that must be what you're requesting, because that's what you're probably getting, with perhaps a side of lame wish fulfillment, reliving events from your childhood and totally messed up Freud vileness.

With new technology it just might be possible to dream that dream, and even control the action as a dream master.

Just like in that futurist movie about the razor fingered burn victim! What a time to be alive!

“You think of a purple cow, you turn a corner, and there’s a purple cow,” dream expert Thomas Piesel explained.

All your most depraved purple cow impulses can now be safely expressed in the dream world. Honestly, just consider it. Turn a corner, there's a cow. Man.

As CBS2’s Kristine Johnson reported, Piesel uses a new type of sleep mask to conjure imagery in his dreams.

Hopefully it doesn't cover the head holes or it might be a pretty serviceable sleep apnea simulator as well.

It uses a programmable light pattern designed to turn on when you’re in a semi-wakeful state to control what you see and do in your dreams. It’s called ‘lucid dreaming.’

Maybe we should start by getting more people somewhat lucid while in the waking state, but whatever.

“You can walk through walls, you can even talk to the dream itself,” he said.

It's like taking the ticket and having a bum trip but totally legal!

Piesel has written about dreams and has volumes of dream journals. Now, he’s added a technology to his dream control arsenal.

This guy is probably a lot of fun at parties.

Frazier and Steve McGuigan developed the dream mask called Remee. They said the sleeping mind can recognize the color and brightness of the embedded lights, allowing the wearer to be more conscious of their dreams.

I'm not sure how this would actually, you know, work, but on the other hand we get to see a light show.

Sleep expert Dr. Daniel Erichsen said this is illustrated in these brainwave patterns where there is little difference in a sleeping and waking mind.

Yeah right, dude. Maybe for all the sheeple but I subscribe to several conspiracy newsletters and know the truth about the Reptiles ruling over us.

Don't you go ruining another Lucid Dreaming Day.

He’s not convinced that light patterns will affect the lucid dreaming state. 

Blinking lights, purple cows, come on it all makes sense.

“There’s no harm in it, but there’s no evidence that it works,” he said.

I guess if you want to get super technical for some reason there is that minor issue.

If you need a dream mask to help you get there it will cost you about $100.


Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

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