Wednesday, November 25, 2015

News You Can't Use: Fox News Contributor Gets Death Threats for Mocking Star Wars Fans

It's about time to make that list of things to be thankful for, but let's instead make a list of things we'd be willing to kill or die for because that's also psychologically healthy and hey, Fox News, haw haw. What would make your list? Televised games? The inherent, god-given right to fantasy football? Dead bird gluttony? Sure, all of that seems reasonable enough, but what about that new Star Wars film, featuring lots of sand, thrilling computerized animations and maybe an awesome sub-plot where elderly Chewbacca gets checked into a nursing home and the caregivers are stealing his possessions and then lying about it to his remaining loved ones, even going so far as claiming old age dementia is making him "imagine" the thefts. Yes, this very necessary follow-up to Part Six: Revenge of the Jedi that will answer all your nagging questions (Do they ever get that spice trading deal signed or what?) is definitely worth displacing your keyboard psychopath over.

Not everyone is excited about seeing Star Wars: The Force Awakens in theaters this holiday season.

These unimpressed people are also sometimes referred to as "mature adults" or "non-losers."

Last month, Fox News contributor Katherine Timpf jokingly insulted fans who were excited for the newest trailer during a guest stint on the late-night political comedy show Red Eye w/ Tom Shillue. Now, Timpf has revealed she’s recieving death threats for her comments.

First all those LYING LIES about the desert oil war or whatever and now this. What is it with Fox News and sand that just doesn't work out? I mean it's rough and gets everywhere instead of being smooth and soft like you, Princess, but still.

“I have never had any interest in watching space nerds poke each other with their little space nerd sticks, and I’m not going to start now,” Timpf shared on the original broadcast.

You know what, from now on I'm going to start calling it my "space nerd stick." "Yeah, I'm poking you with dat space nerd stick, baby. You like that? Yeah, you like that." The various rando encounters will just have to accept this as part of my amazing total package.

You people are crazy. You Star Wars people are crazy. Yesterday I tweeted something, and all I said was that I wasn’t familiar with Star Wars because I’ve been too busy liking cool things and being attractive — people threatened my life.

I'm too busy being the world's most important person, rocking it nine days a week and generally laying down the awesome to understand the pathetic troglodyte fantasy world you losers inhabit. Don't get angry, you crazy nut, I'm just telling it like it is.

You’re not really branding yourself in a way that makes me want to join your life-threatening club.

The first rule (and second rule, too) of life-threatening club is you don't talk about life-threatening club. If this is your first time someone will threaten your life tonight.

On Tuesday, Timpf wrote a piece published by the National Review, sharing her thoughts on online bullying and noting that she wouldn’t back down in the face of threats.

Getting paid to bust on nerds and then pretend you're the victim, it must be nice.

“A lot of people are clearly a lot of upset. But guess what? I’m not apologizing,” Timpf wrote.

You misspelled "Trump" in this line clearly lifted from every article about The Donald published since June.

This political-correctness obsession threatens free speech, and I absolutely refuse to be a part of it.

Yeah, this is a Fox News deep thinker all right.

Live long and prosper.

Bottom line: If you are telling me that I should die and/or apologize for making a joke about a movie you like, then you are too sensitive

Let's argue over which over-reaction is appropriate, that's an efficient use of our time.

I’m sick of oversensitive mobs in our overly sensitive society bullying people into saying that they’re sorry over jokes

I'm the one who is supposed to be doing the bullying, since I'm attractive and have a great life and don't have time for that geek stuff, etc.

So, for that reason, I will not apologize.

Apologize or do not apologize. There is no "try to apologize."

Komment Korner   


Those threatening her don't seem to realize they are on the dark side.  

Pretty sure nobody likes Fox correspondents for their brains.

I think she's pretty cute - need to see her standing up.

You think this is bad, wait until nano and femto aggressions.  

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.    

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