Wednesday, November 18, 2015

News You Can't Use: Clinton Goes after Laugh Factory Comedians for Making Fun of Her

I've got this highly unique eccentricity where I like to laugh and "have fun" as it's called by some of the others with this rare (and special!) disease. The search for ways of satisfying this endless lust for braying like some sort of animal at the wonky hilarity is starting to become more and more difficult, however. Comedy in general, and especially actual satire or parody that requires a modicum of effort, is now something of an enemy, a retrograde force that's hurting our progress. If it's not offending or "othering" someone you can bet that you'll find out my brother died that way and it ain't funny. Failing that, how about the goon squad deployed by the worst Secretary of State in America's history (other than Robert Lansing, of course) and future Presidential runner-up and historical footnote.

In what appears to be a first for a serious presidential contender, Hillary Clinton’s campaign is going after five comedians who made fun of the former Secretary of State in standup skits at a popular Hollywood comedy club.

It's also a bit of a first for a so-called "free and open society" but get used to those, you've got one more year packed full of them.

A video of the short performance, which is less than three minutes, is posted on the website of the renowned club, Laugh Factory, and the Clinton campaign has tried to censor it.

Not content to destroy more conventional heavy industry we now must declare war on our Laugh Factories. The guffaw machines are being moved to China, creation of Mountain Dew spitting on keyboard material will be outsourced to the usual suspects. Thanks for all you've done, a security guard will be along to treat you like a criminal and show you out momentarily.

Besides demanding that the video be taken down, the Clinton campaign has demanded the personal contact information of the performers that appear in the recording.

Just gonna stop by your house for a "friendly" visit, no unpersoning, we promise.

This is no laughing matter for club owner Jamie Masada, a comedy guru who opened Laugh Factory more than three decades ago and has been instrumental in launching the careers of many famous comics.  

These horrible puns are mandatory and will become more common as we send jesting and buffoonery to foreign shores to cut costs.

“They threatened me,” Masada told Judicial Watch. “I have received complains before but never a call like this, threatening to put me out of business if I don’t cut the video.”

Good thing this happened in the middle of the week when there was no hand bladder games or no one would care.

The five short performances that Clinton wants eliminated include some profanity and portions could be considered crass, but some of the lines are funny and that’s what the Laugh Factory is all about.

I mean, I'm an unbelievably sophisticated cultural aficionado with the highest possible standards for my video games and Red Box comedies, but I could see the lumpenproles enjoying this, crude as it may be.

 Yeah, really.

The skits make fun of Clinton’s wardrobe, her age, sexual orientation, the Monica Lewinsky scandal and the former First Lady’s relationship with her famous husband. 

The humor of 1994 is back and better than ever with this classic compilation featuring all your favorites including "I didn't inhale" zingers and the inherent comedic value of adulterous fellatio.

The Laugh Factory has appropriately titled it “Hillary vs. The First Amendment.”

I thought she was still fighting her own e-mail account. 

He insists that the comedy stage is a sanctuary for freedom of speech no matter who is offended. 

The boot kicking down your door and stomping on your face politely disagrees.

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.    

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