Showing posts with label Fox News. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fox News. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

News You Can't Use: Facebook Changes to Trending Topics Questioned After Blunder

Clearly the information gathering social media sites are the best source for your daily news, such as it is. If you need to know, and trust me you need to know, about chicken sandwich themed debauchery we definitely have you covered on the old data mining honey trap. If you're looking for basic, correct information on whether or not a news bunny got fired you might want to keep on walking, but hey, even the Superb Owl winners lost during the regular season and the important thing is you keep feeding us your personal information for our consumerism offensives and future relocation initiatives, etc.

Facebook's changes to its "Trending Topics" section are being questioned after it featured a false report about Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly.

False information coming out of your eyes, coming out of your...whatever.

The story posted Saturday falsely claimed Kelly had been fired by Fox because she secretly supported Democrat Hillary Clinton.

It seems reasonable enough, since we all know faux news (Ha! Get it? Do you get it????) is a fascist echo chamber that has been aggressively promoting Donald Trump for over a year. No really, you're supposed to believe this.

Another topic trending was #McChicken, which took users to stories about a video of a man using the McDonald's sandwich in a sex act.

Please die, modern world.

Facebook announced Friday that an algorithm would select trending topics in place of humans but human editors would still screen them.

We'll combine the errors generated by computers with good old fashioned human error and incompetence and the end result should be a highly satisfying mix of political gas-lighting and junk food pornography.

 El Oh El

Menlo Park, California-based Facebook has apologized for the Kelly story, telling CBS News its editors mistakenly thought it was legitimate before realizing the error. 

It confirmed all our prejudices, so we assumed it was true without doing any due diligence. Oh well, you forgive us, right?

Facebook says that the McChicken topic doesn't violate its content policy and that any trending topic that reflects a real-world event may be featured.

You know what, Mr. Putin, if you "accidentally" hit that giant red button no one would blame you.

Full Article.


Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here. 

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

News You Can't Use: Fox News Contributor Gets Death Threats for Mocking Star Wars Fans

It's about time to make that list of things to be thankful for, but let's instead make a list of things we'd be willing to kill or die for because that's also psychologically healthy and hey, Fox News, haw haw. What would make your list? Televised games? The inherent, god-given right to fantasy football? Dead bird gluttony? Sure, all of that seems reasonable enough, but what about that new Star Wars film, featuring lots of sand, thrilling computerized animations and maybe an awesome sub-plot where elderly Chewbacca gets checked into a nursing home and the caregivers are stealing his possessions and then lying about it to his remaining loved ones, even going so far as claiming old age dementia is making him "imagine" the thefts. Yes, this very necessary follow-up to Part Six: Revenge of the Jedi that will answer all your nagging questions (Do they ever get that spice trading deal signed or what?) is definitely worth displacing your keyboard psychopath over.

Not everyone is excited about seeing Star Wars: The Force Awakens in theaters this holiday season.

These unimpressed people are also sometimes referred to as "mature adults" or "non-losers."

Last month, Fox News contributor Katherine Timpf jokingly insulted fans who were excited for the newest trailer during a guest stint on the late-night political comedy show Red Eye w/ Tom Shillue. Now, Timpf has revealed she’s recieving death threats for her comments.

First all those LYING LIES about the desert oil war or whatever and now this. What is it with Fox News and sand that just doesn't work out? I mean it's rough and gets everywhere instead of being smooth and soft like you, Princess, but still.

“I have never had any interest in watching space nerds poke each other with their little space nerd sticks, and I’m not going to start now,” Timpf shared on the original broadcast.

You know what, from now on I'm going to start calling it my "space nerd stick." "Yeah, I'm poking you with dat space nerd stick, baby. You like that? Yeah, you like that." The various rando encounters will just have to accept this as part of my amazing total package.

You people are crazy. You Star Wars people are crazy. Yesterday I tweeted something, and all I said was that I wasn’t familiar with Star Wars because I’ve been too busy liking cool things and being attractive — people threatened my life.

I'm too busy being the world's most important person, rocking it nine days a week and generally laying down the awesome to understand the pathetic troglodyte fantasy world you losers inhabit. Don't get angry, you crazy nut, I'm just telling it like it is.

You’re not really branding yourself in a way that makes me want to join your life-threatening club.

The first rule (and second rule, too) of life-threatening club is you don't talk about life-threatening club. If this is your first time someone will threaten your life tonight.

On Tuesday, Timpf wrote a piece published by the National Review, sharing her thoughts on online bullying and noting that she wouldn’t back down in the face of threats.

Getting paid to bust on nerds and then pretend you're the victim, it must be nice.

“A lot of people are clearly a lot of upset. But guess what? I’m not apologizing,” Timpf wrote.

You misspelled "Trump" in this line clearly lifted from every article about The Donald published since June.

This political-correctness obsession threatens free speech, and I absolutely refuse to be a part of it.

Yeah, this is a Fox News deep thinker all right.

Live long and prosper.

Bottom line: If you are telling me that I should die and/or apologize for making a joke about a movie you like, then you are too sensitive

Let's argue over which over-reaction is appropriate, that's an efficient use of our time.

I’m sick of oversensitive mobs in our overly sensitive society bullying people into saying that they’re sorry over jokes

I'm the one who is supposed to be doing the bullying, since I'm attractive and have a great life and don't have time for that geek stuff, etc.

So, for that reason, I will not apologize.

Apologize or do not apologize. There is no "try to apologize."


Komment Korner   

THE SOCIETY OF BEGNAZI!!!!!!!!!!!

Those threatening her don't seem to realize they are on the dark side.  

Pretty sure nobody likes Fox correspondents for their brains.

I think she's pretty cute - need to see her standing up.

You think this is bad, wait until nano and femto aggressions.  


Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.    

Sunday, November 2, 2014

News You Can't Use: Man in Fox News Costume Beaten in California

Another celebration of the end of harvest season and the beginning of druid human sacrifice season has come and gone, offering the usual lessons. We got far more creepy clown stories than were strictly needed, combined with the yearly tradition of gelded PG-13 horror films. Yup, pretty typical stuff. That is until someone decided to dress up as a reporter for the Pure Evil I Hate You Mom and Dad Network and caught an All Hallow's Eve beat-down.

A California man dressed as a Fox News reporter was violently assaulted in the left-wing haven of Santa Cruz, California during the annual Halloween parade this weekend.

When clever irony goes horribly wrong. No one can tell if you're serious or not anymore, so we'll just assume the worst and attack.

A 29-year-old man, Scott Kory, allegedly shouted "I hate Fox News!" before grabbing the victim's microphone, making an obscene gesture with it, and beating him with an aluminum tennis racket.

I'd love to read the police report on this one. "Suspect pretended the stolen microphone was a marital aid and then realized the full violence potential of his Rafael Nadal costume."

Kory is described by the Contra Costa Times as "a dreadlocked Santa Cruz resident."

Central casting provides a human unit bad enough to attack an ersatz reporter from the only network news anywhere near the center of the political spectrum. I'm assuming "unwashed," drug addicted," and "totally incoherent" would also apply to our anti-hair care friend.

He was arrested and booked into the county jail on Friday evening. The victim of the attack was reportedly uninjured.

I thought I could just randomly batter people that offend my delicate communist sensibilities, but the stupid old rule of law wrecked everything.

Suggested alternate costumes: NBC crybaby or awards snub Boris Badunov.

The Santa Cruz assault mirrored a real event three years ago, when a local Fox reporter in New York was assaulted at Occupy Wall Street. A protester stole his microphone and threatened to stab him.

Man, history's like a big wheel. Condemned to repeat it, dude. Far out.

Do not visit the ad-riddled source: http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-California/2014/11/02/Man-in-Fox-News-Costume-Beaten-in-California

Komment Korner

I am a "DemonRat" and "Stupid" and a "Commie Thug."

U R NOT TAKING ANY MORE OF MY MONEY....

Far left Liberals are no different then the Fascists of Hitler....

JOE MCCARTHY WAS RIGHT


Check Out My Books!

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read free excerpts here and here.

His first novel "The Foolchild Invention" is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.