Friday, March 27, 2015

News You Can't Use: Six Flags to Cut 18,000 Trees to go Solar

We're clearly in the grips of a climate chaos that can easily be observed by watching the orderly and predictable progression of the seasons. The solution is breaking the grip of fossil fuels and their evil ally, trees. If thing go as planned we could have another Solyndra success story on our hands. And if they don't, who cares, because we had the veneer of good intentions covering increasingly destructive and illogical behavior. Yes, it's time to sit down and ask ourselves "Why is Saving the Earth so tainted with crazy that its credibility as an argument is totally ruined?" For an answer, consider the following amazing paragraphs.

A theme park plans to cut down more than 18,000 trees for the construction of what it says will be the largest solar farm in New Jersey.

We can say this without a hint of irony or self-awareness. First we hammer the pollution-creating trees. Then we create a doomed at birth project that should be able to keep everything running provided we never have a single cloudy day. Or nighttime. Then Peace Prizes and big profits, I would assume.

Six Flags Great Adventure says the facility will generate 21.9 megawatts, or enough to power about 3,100 homes, and capable of meeting all of the park's needs.

Unless there's two fluffy white clouds over the sun, in which case it will create enough power to almost keep one of those mini-fridges running.

The facility will be located east of the safari park in Jackson and is expected to be operational during the second half of 2016.

Discount lion safari and a chance to see broken and rotting solar arrays? Only in New Jersey, the magical place where dreams are cloaked in flesh and rust. First they gave us Bon Jovi, now this. The Garden State truly is America's Santa Claus.

Park President John Fitzgerald said in a statement that solar power will significantly reduce the park's reliance on fossil fuels.

No more endlessly pouring foreign oil into the "Wack-a-Mole" games and the tea cup ride.

We've got to get those trees cut down right away!

Six Flags spokeswoman Kristin Siebeneicher tells the Asbury Park Press the park and KDC Solar have pledged to replant 25,000 trees over a period of seven years.

I'm still waiting for them to fix "The Whizzer" so don't hold your breath.

Komment Korner  

Looks like your professors f-ed up your sense of reality again.

Their azz is their brain

If you can't attack the facts then attack the spelling.

brilliant, and solar farms are so attractive.

They are attractive. They are like a huge billboard that says "I'm with stupid."

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

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