Wednesday, March 11, 2015

News You Can't Use: 2 Dead Skunks Found With ‘Obama Stinks’ Sign

Want to make a meaningless political statement that will have no impact whatsoever on the present transformation of America into the best country to ever exist? If you're relatively normal, you'll do the sensible thing and just post your crazy, wet-brain thoughts on the internet. Honestly, what could be more healthy than draining the venom under an assumed name on the tubes? It just feels right. Then we've got people that decide the best empty gestures are achieved with dead varmints and dead tree signage. Please do not imitate these people and seek out the tons of free publicity we give them under the guise of condemning their actions.

Police in Fairfield, Connecticut, are investigating the discovery of two dead skunks with a sign reading “Obama Stinks.”

Luckily there's no real crime, so we can waste tax dollars trying to avenge the deaths of vermin.

One skunk had string wrapped around its neck and was nailed to a telephone pole, while the other was found at the base. The sign with the anti-Obama message was attached to the pole and also had an American flag with a hammer and sickle in place of the stars.

SKUNK News, when the slightly right of center ravings of FOX news just aren't getting it. We kill stinky giant rats and spread the truth about the U.S.S.A.

A woman who noticed the dead animals called Fairfield police at 8:40 Tuesday morning.

"There's a dead skunk and crime speech, please send the police tank."

Fairfield Police Lt. James Perez said authorities aren’t sure what to make of the sign.

Yeah, it is pretty inscrutable.

The police are helpless, can YOU figure this out?

“Is it a direct threat? I’m not sure it’s even a veiled threat. We really don’t know what it is at this point,” Perez told WCBS 880’s Alex Silverman.

At this point I'm not even sure if I could spell my own name. Oh well, back to use high-powered weapons and military vehicles to "protect" the community.

“They wanted to present a message to others of their views and they wanted to do it in such a shocking way that it would get people’s attention. It clearly got their attention,” Chief Gary MacNamara told WCBS 880’s Connecticut Bureau Chief Fran Schneidau said.

A slightly more intelligent member of the force explained the situation.

However, it does seem to be clear case of animal cruelty, Silverman reported.

Arranging dead vermin to make a political point...First Amendment protected? Get on this, Supreme Court.

“In this day and age with so many people leading complex lives, it’s silly that you would have someone make such a bold statement using a defenseless animal,” Perez said.

In fairness they're more than capable of defending themselves, what with that musk and all.

Anyone with information that may be helpful is urged to contact police or animal control.

An issue for the town dog catcher or something that will require a police air strike...we're still not sure.

Don't visit the ad-riddled source.

Komment Korner  

Now that's what I call truth in advertising!

ha, this is great.... although I could use better words than "stinks" when it comes to the serial lying fraud

Gotta love those progressive liberals.... What will they think of next?

I'm having a VERY good time at your expense!

And, you'll wet your bed again tonight

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

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