Wednesday, January 8, 2014

News You Can't Use: High-Fliers at Risk of Isolation and Depression From Internet Addiction

Internet addiction is a problem, and not just for the "one more game" video avenger or the one-handed typist. No, actual productive and valuable human assets are now falling victim to this scourge. What can we do about it? If you immediately thought "write a snarky blog post mocking a serious problem," we're definitely on the same wavelength on this one.

The most successful employees are at risk of isolation, depression and anxiety as they increasingly use the internet to continue to work outside the office, researchers have warned.

Nothing says "success" like a heapin' helpin' of isolation, depression and anxiety with a side of the early death. Slave away in some meaningless job that shuffles around debt at levels are minds can't even properly comprehend. Take that work home. Wear an electronic chain around your neck. Suffer a plethora of psychological and physical issues as a result. Keep telling yourself how free you are.

A new study suggests workaholics are increasingly logging on after work, becoming addicted to the web and are more likely to suffer from withdrawal symptoms when they switch off.

Yes, withdrawal symptoms. Got runny nose and the shakes...better look at some scores on a mainstream sports site...ah, that's the rush.

But researchers warned the dangers are being overlooked by companies because those at the most risk are usually the most successful.

I know it's hard to believe, but your company might not be as concerned that you're killing yourself so some horrible rich bastard can become slightly richer as you'd probably expect.

“Compulsive behaviour occurs when workers cross an invisible boundary and their internet use becomes unhealthy,” said Nada Kakabadse Professor of policy, governance and ethics at Henley School of Business.

"I'd tell you more, but I'm pretty busy changing signage now that the word "ethics" is finally being removed from the department name to better reflect reality."

Also, "invisible boundary." Sorry, cool science-fiction language is not saving this tale of pathetic wage slavery.

“They spend increasing amounts of time online, waking up three times in a night to check their emails, eating patterns become irregular, relationships suffer and they become totally absorbed and feel anxious when separated from the computer. 

"Computer is only real friend...don't need to eat...can't be separated...must...check...e-mail..."

“For overachievers it is worse and they are more likely to burn-out more quickly. They begin to lose judgement and make mistakes.”

Underachiever and proud of my resistance to "burn-out."

Researchers said they had expected to find compulsive internet use among the young and the unemployed who had more time on their hands. But they were surprised to find overachievers were actually the most at risk.

We were hoping to just keep piling it on the young people, who we blame for everything, because that never gets old. That was our noble goal. Then we were shocked that there's pathology among business zombies.

The team found the working excessively was the ‘strongest predictor’ of compulsive internet use.

I mean, you can still blame that on the young. Maybe they're so lazy that you're forced to pick up the slack or something. Come on, use your imagination!

Co-author Dr Cristina Quinones-Garcia of Northampton Business School said: “Internet supports all areas of human interaction. However the omnipresence of this phenomenon could have double-edged sword impact on our lives.

Unnecessary fifty cent words, sloppy mixed metaphors...yeah, you're a professional academic. 

Now stay off that internet, it's a bad addiction for your kind.

“Those individuals who use technology to enable working beyond office hours tend to be highly successful in their jobs, but are at a high risk of developing problems.”

"Society says they're winners, so that must be true, but they sure seem to be miserable."

Researchers have called on companies to issue guidelines on safe internet use outside the workplace which educates about the dangers.

Because employers controlling your private life is a Good Thing.

A recent poll found that British workers would rather have no heat and water than lose their Internet connection at home.

I'm sure this has been duly noted by your rulers and you can expect exciting new "Heat and Water Adjustment Acts" very soon.

A separate study of found that three quarters of workers are now afraid to open their emails on Monday morning.

Hey, it's stressful being related to Nigerian nobility who are constantly dying and leaving massive fortunes that get tied up for want of a $200 processing fee.

For some it grew so bad that they felt ‘paralysed’ by the volume of messages , said lead author Mare Teichmann.

"Trapped...can't many discount Viagra offers....sent help..."

Komment Korner  

Next we'll be seeing a bunch of unbathed, welfare using, parents basement dwelling protesters attacking over achievers.

Did I get redirected from the Mickey Mouse Club website somehow??

still have trouble letting go of Battle Pirates, working on it... baby steps.

Loss of employment, even imprisonment from reckless drunken posts and tweets, temptation to view worse and worse pornography or searches which will attract the attentions of the authorities are some of the more serious possibilities.

Shill Section  

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read a free excerpt here.

His first novel The Foolchild Invention is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

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