Sunday, January 19, 2014

News You Can't Use: America's Number One Prescription Sleep Aid Could Trigger 'Zombies,' Murder and Other Disturbing Behavior

Have you noticed the recent increase in "zombies," deadly violence and the general breakdown of normalcy? I'm going to pretend y'all didn't immediately answer "No, I'm busy watching football." It turns out that sleep aids are fueling these Mad Max scenarios, as crazed insomniacs are now a menace on par with being hit by a meteor or losing your soul to the pinball devil.

On March 29, 2009, Robert Stewart, 45,  stormed into the Pinelake Health and Rehab nursing home in Carthage, North Carolina and opened fire.

No Europe, this is not a commonplace event here. It really isn't.

Stewart’s defense team successfully argued that since he was under the influence of Ambien, a sleep aid, at the time of the shooting, he was not in control of his actions.

"Feel so drowsy...must kill..."

Ambien works by activating the neurotransmitter  GABA and binding it to the GABA receptors in the same location as the benzodiazepines such as Xanax and Valium.

Oh, right. The location the benzodiazepines go to. Of course. I was having a little trouble understanding the medical mumbo-jumbo, but that helpful reference cleared it all up.

In other words, it slows down the brain.

Think of it like television in pill form.

Although the Ambien prescribing information warned, in small print, that medications in the hypnotic class had occasional side effects including sleep walking, “abnormal thinking,” and “strange behavior,” these behaviors were listed as extremely rare

This is the part of the TeeVee ad where the smarmy narrator speaks faster than the Micro Machine man and lawyers begin to experience sexual arousal.

It wasn’t until Patrick Kennedy’s 2006 middle-of-the-night car accident and subsequent explanation to arriving officers that he was running late for a vote that the bizarre side effects of Ambien began to receive national attention.

Yes. I'll never forget how every 2006 conversation was dominated by Patrick Kennedy and his "Got to go vote!" antics. It really captured the national imagination, that's for sure.

I think you might have gotten the side-effects of Ambien confused with the side-effects of alcohol, another medicinal substance that may have secret ingredients capable of causing poorly understood "strange behavior." We need more research and litigation before we'll know for sure.

Ambien’s French manufacturer, made $2 billion in sales at its peak.

"Surrender to a good night's sleep!"

Shortly after the Kennedy incident, Ambien users sued Sanofi because of bizarre sleep-eating behaviors while on the drugs.

Yes Europe, this is an accurate depiction of Americans.

people were eating things like buttered cigarettes and eggs complete with the shells, while under the influence of Ambien.

Not a lot of vitamins in these Marlboros.

Lask called people in this state “Ambien zombies.”

Because lame pop-culture references make everything better. I would have gone with "I popped an Amber, I'm sweating and eating cigarettes, woo."

As a result of the lawsuit, and of increasing reports coming in about “sleep driving,” the FDA ordered all hypnotics to issue stronger warnings on their labels.

No more using "comic sans" font for those labels. This is serious, now.

In March of 2011, Lindsey Schweigert took one Ambien before getting into bed at 6pm. Hours later, she woke up in custody with no idea how she’d gotten there.

I wanna party with you, Lindsey.

The smart money is on the plants.

She started driving to a local restaurant but crashed into another car soon after leaving her house. Police described her as swaying and glassy-eyed. She failed a sobriety test and was charged with DWI and running a stoplight.

Believe it or not taking powerful sleeping pills may impair your driving. Thank you for sharing this revelation, I feel we've learned a lot here today.

Komment Korner  
Maybe this is the reason Obama doesn't remember anything with Fast & Furious, Benghazi, CIA and NSA.

I've taken it for seven years with no ill effects. I will be very upset if the Nanny State bans this.

Does the author of this article not know that public nuisance, Patrick Kennedy and his weasel attorneys made up the Ambien story?

Dammn why didn't they have this stuff when I was a kid?

Is anyone else getting tire of this?

Shill Section

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read a free excerpt here.

His first novel The Foolchild Invention is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

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