Saturday, June 27, 2015

News You Can't Use: The Age of Inactivity

As there a better feeling than mortgaging your future for a fleeting bit of pleasure? Clearly, the answer is no, which is why we have things like high tech recliners and crack cocaine. When you live in a nation that has a debt total that resembles a worldwide beach sand census more than an economic statement it's a little difficult to take goofy ideas like "future consequences" seriously. So we laze about, stuff the fat face and generally seek paradise in corn sugar and joystick addiction. It's all fine, but here's some kill-joy to explain why it isn't, quoting two thousand year old sources like an out-of-touch hate devil. It's 2015. Wow. Just wow.

Two thousand years ago, Hippocrates, the Father of Modern Medicine hit the nail on the head. He said, that if we all had “the right amount of nourishment and exercise, not too little and not too much, we would have found the safest way to health”. Bingo.

It's almost as if most human wisdom is already out there while we arrogantly pretend to know better while clinging to our empires of dirt, but on the other hand this dead guy didn't even own a cellular phone so let's not listen.

Obviously then, being a species of great intellect, over the next two millennia we took on his sensible advice, integrating exercise into our daily life and cashing in on the rewards for our bodies and minds.

Well, that would explain all the stunning human beauty one sees at convenience stores and huddled in front of the "Red Box."

Hmm, maybe we didn’t quite all get that memo. Instead something else happened and physical inactivity grew into the fourth largest global killer in the world.

Oh. It was sarcasm. I hate when the written word instills a small amount of hope only for it to be dashed by irony's retarded little sister.

Yes, physical inactivity has its price tags. It is linked to the development of chronic health problems like heart disease, type 2 diabetes, obesity, depression, dementia and cancer.

The opposing argument can be boiled down to "I like to drink booze and gorge." Class, decide who is making the better point. Please show your work.

It can make us feel bad about ourselves, guilty and frustrated, appeased only with the ever alluring reward of inactivity – comfort, rest and stress-free.

The intense allure of doing nothing. Expect hot, hot "lying on a couch" erotica from the usual talentless suspects any day now. 60 Hazes of Laze, etc.

There is growing over the degree of inactivity in children with precipitants embedded within our shift to a more sedentary lifestyle, fear and risk associated with outdoor play, and the advent of more advanced and ‘real-life replacement’ for one in four children who see online social networking and gaming as their activity.

You can't have an article like this without "Generation nothing is the worst ever." It's required by law, I think.

Even more sobering is the evidence that suggests many children still have a negative approach to physical activity in schools, with teachers believing that nearly half of primary school pupils leaving school without “basic movement skills”, and that more than one in three children dislike exercise by the time they leave primary school.

Sorry, only time will sober you up. Looking at a "Brits don't even know how to move anymore" study is not going to make that fifth of whiskey process itself any faster.

Make no mistake, these are massive, insidious, chronic alarm bells.

Make no mistake, firing out randomly chosen five dollar words to make an awkward metaphor is harder than it looks.

 Then again that’s not what worries me as a doctor. What worries me is why so many of us are still not getting its importance to our lives? Or then again, is it simply a change in our psychology to life, to our society, and to our drive to fix this crevassing “knowing-doing” gap?

Damn it, I'm a doctor, not someone who can write coherent journalistic prose!

Formerly known as the United States of America.

Right then, here’s a question - how big do you think this gap is?

Make your own joke, it's way too easy.

Like a dodgy set of scales, this gap has grown so big because of a huge imbalance; imbalance between factors promoting physical activity and barriers to it.

Right, like a bleeding outrage innit. 

With all these bloody barriers to hurdle there’d better be a good reason to do some physical activity.

Seriously, at some point this article became way too full of British for me to comprehend or even properly make fun of. 

Hippocrates, saw exercise as an elixir of life, even without knowing what we do now. But he was spot on.

This old blighter and rotter was just brilliant.

Komment Korner  

This article is a total lie. Trust Me !

He says about 30% of the US population has type 2 hypothyroid, which is INHERITED. I have it from my grandmother.

Day One - hang upside down for 10 minutes (doing nothing).

Day Two - bench press a weight 100 times

Really, why work? Start making any headway and the state begins to penalize and tax you to death

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

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