Wednesday, February 25, 2015

News You Can't Use: Warren Buffett's Secret to Staying Young

Looking and acting young is what's important, as opposed to maturity and wisdom, which we're working hard to eradicate. The question becomes "How can I stay young north of my eighth decade?" and the answer, naturally, comes from an obscenely wealthy reptile. After earning those big fed reserve notes in such diverse fields as tobacco, coal and China this awful human being has some excellent wellness advice for us all. It turns out "eat garbage" is the magic bullet for sustained and successful evil well into the twilight years.

How does the world’s top investor, at 84 years old, wake up every day and face the world with boundless energy?

Looks at all the energy!

“I’m one quarter Coca-Cola,” Warren Buffett says.

My maternal grandfather was born in the former Coca-Cola republic of Mello Yellistan.

When he told me this in a phone call yesterday (we were talking about the death of his friend, former Coca-Cola president Don Keough), I assumed he was talking about his stock portfolio.

"You'll be dead soon, too, right?" naturally segued into a discussion of his coke habit.

No, Buffett explained, “If I eat 2700 calories a day, a quarter of that is Coca-Cola. I drink at least five 12-ounce servings. I do it everyday.”

Until I can learn to subsist on the misery I cause like some kind of perverse solar panel, this will have to do.

One 12-ounce can of Coke contains 140 calories. Typically, Buffett says, “I have three Cokes during the day and two at night.

Yes, one of the world's wealthiest men is a hopeless prole-drink addict.

Look at me, I'm acting young!

“I’ll have one at breakfast,” he explains, noting that he loves to drink Coke with potato sticks.

That "banality of evil" guy really nailed it.

What brand of potato sticks?

For the love of God please tell me so I can completely become you!

“I have a can right here,” he says. “U-T-Z” Utz is a Hanover, Pennsylvania-based snack maker. Buffett says that he’s talked to Utz management about potentially buying the company.

"I already have extensive experience branding and selling poison."

Investors in Berkshire Hathaway may feel relieved that the CEO isn’t addicted to Utz Potato Stix at every breakfast. “This morning, I had a bowl of chocolate chip ice cream,” Buffett says.

You've got to wonder if he also sleeps in bed mocked up to look like a race car. 

Asked to explain the high-sugar, high-salt diet that has somehow enabled him to remain seemingly healthy, Buffett replies: “I checked the actuarial tables, and the lowest death rate is among six-year-olds. So I decided to eat like a six-year-old.” The octogenarian adds, “It’s the safest course I can take.”

I guess those Michelle Obama school lunch reforms never caught on.

Komment Korner  

I think people have gone overboard with healthy foods, diets, and exercise.

I wouldn't suggest that be a diet someone has all their life.

He's not staying "young", He's going to die soon and good riddance.

Basically, when you have enough money, you become very tolerant of many ailments that would be devastating to us common folk.

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

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