Wednesday, January 14, 2015

News You Can't Use: This Robot Exercise Coach is Available Round-The-Clock

Hey everyone, how are you doing on your exercise and weight loss goals for the New Year? Sorry to hear you all failed, I really am. But hey, maybe with the help of an exciting new robot trainer you bloated humanoids can successfully decrease in mass and improve overall biological functioning. That is assuming you're elderly and live in Singapore, but since that is my blog's main demographic I feel quite confident in making that leap. I'm kind of a big deal in Jalan Kayu-Seletar, just sayin'.

Senior citizens at the Lions Befrienders Senior Activity Centre at Mei Ling Street now do not have to wait for scheduled exercise activities in order to stay active, thanks to an exercise robot developed by three electrical engineering students from Ngee Ann Polytechnic.

Singapore don't play. Not only do they tear up the butts of petty vandals, now they come up with aggressive and almost certainly mistranslated names for their Afterlife Waiting Rooms. Not only do they befriend big cats, they now can avoid that annoying wait for that PBS chair-exercise show via robotics.

Meanwhile, back in the U.S.A. nursing home advances include only hiring felons who have that special letter from the prison that says they are totally reformed and coming up with exciting new ways to say "no one is stealing from your loved one, I'm sure it's just something he or she is making up to get attention."

The robot, named Xuan, features a tablet with an animated face on top of a plastic structure. Its neck, arms and wrists are able to fully mimic human movements. 

Let's take a look at some of these fully emulated human movements, shall we?

Johnny Five wants you to get in shape!

Everyone do the right angle! No lady, you're obtuse!

Do the motorsickle! Also note all the employees whose new job is "make sure the robot doesn't somehow obtain sentience and begin killing people."

Xuan can give instructions on 15 simple arm exercises focusing on flexibility and circulation, such as raising one's hands above the head before lowering them.

As opposed to the average American college freshman who can give instructions for maybe five or six simple arm exercises, at best.

Komment Korner  

Although it looks like a POS (Peace Of S***) now, this is the start, in a few years, it will be an robot that looks fully human doing this thus causing yet another industry to succumb to the magical world of electronics and now those health coaches are losing their muscle cause they can't get any business. I refuse to use any 100% machine operated gadget (i.e. self check out lanes, vending machines). My money isn't worth much but it is worth putting food in the stomach of a human. Does not matter what you do from working retail to packing Styrofoam peanuts in a cardboard box to peeling off dead animals off the highway. If you bust your rump and take pride in the work you do, I will support you any way I can and with a prideful smile, salute you for giving it a honest day's work.

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

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