Wednesday, January 7, 2015

News You Can't Use: The Average College Freshman Reads at 7th Grade Level

Today's story combines two of my favorite things: "Woo, College, Let's Party, Woo Woo!" and massive systemic failure creating a generation that in a decade or so will be charitably described as "easily ruled." While the non-college troglodyte has presumably lost all faculty for human speech and even the most basic empathy, our best and brightest would consider Captain Courageous to be an indecipherable jumble of confusing language and distressingly absent hash tags. Yup, it's time for another article about our national toboggan ride down Thrill Hill.

The average U.S. college freshman reads at a seventh grade level, according to an educational assessment report.  

Meanwhile the average seventh grader reads at the level of a second trimester unborn baby. Let's just face up to it. These grade levels, created in more optimistic times, have now lost all meaning. They're making us feel bad, so it's time to just lower all standards and pretend the problem has been fixed until it predictably crops up again.

“We are spending billions of dollars trying to send students to college and maintain them there when, on average, they read at about the grade 6 or 7 level, according to Renaissance Learning’s latest report on what American students in grades 9-12 read, whether assigned or chosen,” said education expert Dr. Sandra Stotsky.

Horny vampire owns heavy industry and Lil Suzie goes to 1984 land are about the best we can hope for out of Generation Nothing. Spending money on education, is there a bigger shuck?

Stotsky, a Professor Emerita at the University of Arkansas, served on the Common Core Validation Committee in 2009-10, during which she called the standards “inferior.”

Another University of Arkansas snob. We can't all be "Hogs," after all.

Also, hey high achievers! If you're good at noticing obvious failure and really good at vanishing when it's time to propose solutions then you, too, could make that Validation Committee chedda.

“The average reading level for five of the top seven books assigned as summer reading by 341 colleges using Renaissance Learning’s readability formula was rated 7.56 [meaning halfway through seventh grade],” Stotsky told Breitbart Texas.

Today we'll be discussing Mister Bunny Gets a New Home. Next week I'll get a phantom illness and cancel class via a note on the door. Go Hogs!

The study also found that most high school graduates don’t do much with mathematics past eighth-grade compared to students in other high-achieving countries.

Yes, we're still getting smoked in "Rithmetic" too, in case you were wondering.

“Indeed, they seem to be suggesting that a middle school level of reading is satisfactory, even though most college textbooks and adult literary works written before 1970 require mature reading skills.”

After 1970 the average literary work became a pretentious word salad that no one really understands or enjoys regardless of education, so that's at least not a problem.

“For almost 100 years, there have been many surveys in this country of what children prefer to read. Despite changes in immigration patterns, family literacy, and cultural influences, what boys and girls like to read has been relatively stable,” said Stotsky.

It almost suggests inherent differences, but I'd like to keep my sinecure position, thank you very much.

According to Breitbart Texas, Stotsky is credited with creating the strongest set of k-12 academic standards in the country while working for the Massachusetts Department of Education, and is responsible for developing licensure tests for prospective teachers.

Can't wait to see that Phoenix-style comeback that these new standards bring about.

Komment Korner 

The schools' failures do produce excellent lemmings, which are beloved by politicians.

Perhaps that is the real motivation behind Mrs. Obama's food lunch program.

After being forced into retirement (thanks Congress/Obama) I am starting at a University in the next week.

Many college grads now don't have sense enough to pour piss out of a boot.

Ever heard of the 5 finger rule?

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

No comments:

Post a Comment