News You Can't Use: Family Offended After Stranger Addresses Mourners

Your opinions and observations are extremely valuable and it's important that you share them with the world as often as possible. Whether yelling things at a bus station, sharing your plans to fix society from a bar stool or laying down sick insight at a stranger's funeral there's never a bad time to run that mouth. Trust me, everyone will be grateful, you certainly won't be called a racist and we'll all profit from the thoughts are too good to hoard all to yourself when everyone else is begging for them like the salivating hounds that we surely are.

A Quincy family was stunned when a stranger suddenly got up at their mother’s funeral and started making comments which they feel were racially insensitive to the Asian community.

This is not the time to make that Kamikaze joke, it really isn't.

On March 18th, Adrian Wong delivered the eulogy to his mother who passed away from lung cancer. “She was not a smoker. Not exposed to secondhand smoke. Never worked with chemicals. She was simply unlucky,” he told a room full of mourners.

I always thought the role of a eulogy was to praise the deceased and not to serve as an instant replay review of their final hours, possibly laying the groundwork for some sort of Perry Mason investigation or whatever. I better quick get on the microphone and tell everyone this just flashed across the cortex.

Adrian was supposed to be the only speaker, but when he finished, a man named David Small, who the family didn’t know, got up, uninvited, and started addressing mourners.

This is not the time or the place to debut your "dirty South" rap career.

Small speculated that it was “smoke in Asian churches” that led to Carol Tan Wong’s death.

You know what, that's really good. Here's a participation trophy, congratulations on showing up and sharing your social retardation.

“I’m not affected by this but I see that the smoke in the church in the Asian churches is so prevalent that I gag when I go inside,” Small said, adding when a funeral director asked him to step aside, “I hope what I’ve told you about the smoke in the church is not taken in offense. I mean it’s your culture.”

No, hold up dawg, I gotta finish this point. I'm just saying it gets all smokey in your ding ling ping ping rooms, that's all. I'm not trying to be offensive, really. It's just like a fog up in durr, that's all.

The Wong family was offended and posted a video of Small’s comments on YouTube.

I was so offended I had to show it to the entire world. Be sure to thumbs up, subscribe and share this horrible moment we all want to forget. Man, basic propriety could not be more dead.

Adrian Wong demanded an apology from Small because he believed the comments to be a broad misperception about the Asian community.

Yes, "smoke in the churches" is a pretty common and hateful stereotype, let's get a coerced apology. People mourn in strange ways, etc.

“I think he owes an apology not just to me, but to the entire community.”

You'll have to go door-to-door or something.

 Now you have to apologize to every Irish person, too.

Small, a private investigator in Quincy, told WBZ-TV he was invited to the funeral by his girlfriend who he says is Asian.

Look at the mess my serial monogamy got me into this time.

Small said he was trying to make the point that in his opinion there’s a “high rate of smoking in the Asian community, and Asians burn incense in their churches, which is a health risk.”

If I could interpret basic social cues this might have been prevented, but I can't.

Small says he sends a heartfelt apology to the Wong family.

Problem solved???

Full Article.

Komment Korner 

How psychotic do you have to be to get up in a funeral where you don’t know anyone and speculate on what killed grandma?

Remember what that clown who is married to the other clown with a really huge butt  

I don’t see the big deal, I go to unknown funerals all the time and speak at length about the ills of society 

The man needs to be ARRESTED FOR TRESPASSING.

He picked the Wong funeral to start this stuff.

Thank you, Ted Kennedy.

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.  

News You Can't Use: Injured Daredevil Criticized For GoFundMe Page After Failed Jump

In addition to more lawyers, there's a desperate need for more talent-free YouTube "content creators." Someone has to play the video games, eat objects that aren't strictly speaking actually edible, pull wacky "pranks" like threatening strangers and, of course, perform dangerous stunts without proper precautions to entertain cretinous followers. I encourage everyone reading this to get going on one or all of those things right away, we'll all thank you later. Meanwhile, let's salute a mental midget who suffered for our click-money and then decided to openly beg for more. This is the hero we deserve.

A man known for his thrill-seeking jumps, now in the hospital with two shattered feet after missing his mark at a Laguna hotel pool, is asking the public for help with his medical bills.

If you pay for it, then I won't learn any lessons from this and will continue to do unbelievably idiotic human tricks for your drooling amusement! 

Anthony Booth Armer, 28, is laid up in the hospital for the next four weeks, has casts on both feet and expects two more surgeries. He says he feeling all sorts of pain, but not regret.

YouTube "celebrity" not a big fan of introspection, film at eleven.

“It’s super painful,” Armer said. “They took the wrapper off yesterday I was in shock almost.”

We can now confirm that shattering your feet is, in fact, painful.

“I’m itching to do something. It’s no joke,” Armer said.

Maybe do some rad jumps in a wheelchair?

The daredevil YouTube sensation says he’s taken a lot of heat on social media because of his GoFundMe page raising money for some of his medical care insurance won’t cover.

Being called nasty names on the internet, the closest thing to actual adversity Generation Nothing ever gets. Get off my lawn.

“What am I going to say to haters? I’m so sick of people hating me for doing what I love and going at it full force,” Armer said.

Anyone who questions my poor life choices or general insipidity is a "hater" who can be safely ignored, when I'm not complaining about it.

“Just seeking a little support to keep doing what I’m doing or else I’ll be working the rest of my life to pay this off,” he said on the page.

I should be insulated from the consequences of my actions! Where's my free college?

In October, Armer jumped off Newport Towers and posted it onto YouTube and was cited by police for trespassing. “I don’t want to be arrested. I’m not hurting anyone.”

Causing pain to others directly is the only thing that should qualify as a crime.

The human cost of gravity.

So when will the daredevil give up the tricks? “When I die,” Armer said. 

Whoa. That's so heavy, man. My mind is, like, blown.

Armer says he is making plans for a jump off the Golden Gate Bridge.

With any luck we'll get a "GoFundMe" to pay for his funeral after that.

Full Article.

Komment Korner  

What? No Obamacare for him? His healthcare isn’t affordable? I’m confused.

He should have done it head first.

Another millenial not really planning ahead or being accountable for their own actions or choices..

This guy is not brave. He is a attention starved moron. Here, Sparky… Hold the nail for me. I never miss.

I have a friend who fell from a height and hit his heels on a sidewalk. It forced him to give up his life as a surgeon because he could no longer stand on his feet for long.  

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.    

News You Can't Use: YouTube Offers U.S. Subscribers Paid Option With No Ads

If this is the only site on the internet you visit, something I do recommend, it's my duty to inform you that today is "future day" or something, celebrating the date mentioned in a 1989 movie when the hero would arrive in an amazing future. Suffice it to say this film's predictions regarding autumn of 2015, fueled by Reagan-era optimism and a desire to instill mirth rather than crushing despair in audiences, have proven less than accurate. There is no Jaws 10, self-tying shoes haven't even been seriously attempted, cars are boxy, economical and don't fly and skateboarding technology is, if anything, in retrograde since they stopped making those Tony Hawk television games.

On the other hand, this brave world is not without amazing innovations. Innovations like attaching commercials parasite-style to homemade videos and then offering a chance to make them go away in exchange for some fiat currency.

Alphabet Inc's YouTube will launch a $10-a-month subscription option in the United States on Oct. 28 that will allow viewers to watch videos from across the site without interruption from advertisements, the company said on Wednesday. 

The same ignorant and easily led herd that makes horrible garbage popular now has a chance to pay money for something that (shhhh, don't tell anyone I told you this) can be easily acquired for free. It's hard to imagine the motley assembly of suckers, mouth-breathers and Madison Avenue fantasy marks made flesh that will toss a Hamilton on this pile and it's maybe best not to try.

Starting early next year, the service called YouTube Red will add exclusive shows and movies from top YouTube creators including PewDiePie, Lilly Singh and The Fine Brothers.

This was the "horrible garbage" alluded to in the previous paragraph.

"Consumers are embracing paid subscriptions of ad-free content at an incredible pace," Robert Kyncl, YouTube's chief business officer, said at an event at YouTube's production space in Los Angeles.

"It's like you morons are willing to just give me money and all you get in exchange is a removal of obnoxious and insulting content that can already be defeated in a variety of ways. Man, I love getting paid off of you idiots."

The effort offers a new source of revenue for YouTube and its video creators.

It's like the traditional media is being slowly rebuilt piecemeal from first principles. Maybe call this service "cable television."

Rival streaming sites such as Vessel and Interactive Corp's Vimeo are luring online stars to their paid offerings, which provide creators a larger cut of revenue than they typically receive from YouTube's ad-supported videos. Facebook also is taking steps to boost video viewership on its site.

Any talk about this not being an intellectual golden age can now stop.

YouTube will continue to offer its free, ad-supported service, which has more than 1 billion viewers around the world.

That sure is a relief, now I can aggressively upbraid all the "Youtube is gonna end" and "Facebook gwine charge you startin' Nivbembar!" human units littering social media.

Sure told you! Well, gotta go pay my direct teevee bill.

Creators of 99 percent of the content watched on YouTube have agreed to make their videos available on YouTube Red, Kyncl said. 

The remaining videos are presumably investment tips, portfolio management, how I buy elections and other one percent material.

A Disney spokeswoman did not immediately respond for a request for comment.

Please respond. Fast Disney is fast.

The YouTube Red service will be available initially only in the United States.

Congratulations USA, you're the test market for this trick bag.

Users who sign up for YouTube Red through Apple Inc's app store will pay $13 a month.

Over the course of a few paragraphs the price has already gone up. What kind of jive is this?

YouTube also launched a new YouTube Music app that is free to watch with ads. Subscribers to YouTube Red can watch YouTube Music content without the ads.
 

You're not getting that hoverboard, stop asking.

Full Article.

Komment Korner  

Apparently people don't know you can block those ads for free with Firefox (using a plugin).

I'd rather eat McDonald's grey burger bun than pay YouTube $$ to filter out the ads.
 

in the eternal words of Judas Priest: 'You(tube) got another thing coming'

History repeats itself! This is how cable TV started

As my dad said, ignorance is expensive.

You lost me at poopoodie. 

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.