News You Can't Use: DC Building Bans Balcony Banners

Anyone keeping a list of “Seemingly Harmless Things Ruined by Donald Trump, His Supporters, and His Detractors” can pencil in “banners that sports fans hang from their apartments”—at least in one building across the street from Nationals Park.

Another harmless thing ruined by the Democratic process and the fact that people are allowed to disagree for some reason. If we'd just eliminate all free expression, and we were making great progress until just recently by the way, we could go back to hanging banners. I feel a part of all of us has died.

Since the 11-story Camden South Capitol building opened in 2013, some residents of the units facing South Capitol Street—directly across from Nationals Park—have hung flags and pennants supporting DC’s baseball team.  

Do you like sports? Hey, great. I also enjoy sports. Clearly you can see the value of smoothing out unbelievably painful social interactions with our fellow biological work units, but dirty old politics is wrecking this.

“While we love our residents creativity and unique decorating, the time has come for us to remind all residents it is a lease violation if you…hang anything off of your balcony—yes this even include banners/flags supporting our beloved Washington Nationals,” reads the email from building manager Shaun Lambert.

We live in a nation of laws, as evidenced by our prisons packed with the wealthy and powerful who felt they could get away with things. Even your devotion to our beloved American Cricket squadron must be subsumed beneath the rule of law.

The likely inspiration for this sudden order, according to one resident, was a rush of political banners in the past few months, starting with a “Trump: Make America Great Again” flag that appeared shortly after last November’s election.

One guy was yelling this, so it seems plausible as an explanation.

But people in the building say it was the “Make America Great Again” flag that set off a sign war. An apartment one floor above the Trump-friendly apartment hung a flag proclaiming “Resist.”

We should be seeing "2 + 2 = 5" and "Ignorance is Strength" banners any day now.

The newest addition, which went up shortly before the start of baseball season, positions the word “Nope” accompanied by an upward arrow directly beneath the Trump sign.

My sophisticated and highly adult political discourse, full of cogent four-letter arguments.

And now, what was once a gallery of local sports fandom is just another political shouting match.

I just wanted to watch roided-up monsters hit dingers, but then you went all C-SPAN up in here.

 Mostly empty stadium offers advice to Congress.

His note also warns tenants against installing grills or household furniture, leaving unattended pets, and smoking on balconies.

I don't see how this pocket Hitler has the right to decide what I put in my mouth or how neglectful I am toward my furry friend-substitutes.

Tenants of Camden South Capitol who object to the redecoration order on First Amendment grounds are unlikely to prevail, according to Joel Cohn, the legislative director for DC’s Office of the Tenant Advocate.

When you signed that lease you gave up a lot of your inherent rights, sorry.

Full Article. 

Komment Korner   

I wouldn't want to live in a building with different kind of flags all over it. although, i wouldn't want to live in DC either

Suppression of other people's speech is a FEDERAL CRIME under our civil rights laws.

Anyone keeping a list of “Seemingly Harmless Things Ruined by Capitalism and Contracts” can pencil in “Witty Criticism of Idiots in Shared Common Areas of Condos."

No smoking on your own balcony?

I'm not even going to click on those hashtags.

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.  

News You Can't Use: Penn State Asks Students to Report Microaggressions to Administrators

With college football over and the good part of college roundball still weeks away it's a bit of a struggle to come up with relevant things to say about the old cult-marxist debt factory. Sure, we had those demonstrations that could basically be summarized as "everything that's ever happened, ever, is wrong, offensive and needs to be 1984ed out of existence" but it appears that collapsed under its own vile nihilism, leaving only the microaggression. A microaggression, for the uninitiated, is any ordinary occurrence that fails to acknowledge my unbelievable worth as nature's greatest miracle. In other words, it's what we used to call "real life." Hopefully this can be swept aside by this new war on reality.

At Pennsylvania State University, no hurt feeling is too small, no slight too inconsequential, no unintentionally biased statement too unimportant. 

I guess it makes since to focus on such minor issues, what with the spotless record this fine institution has when it comes to, say, not covering up years of appalling crimes.

The public university is in the midst of a massive campaign that encourages students not only to watch what they say, lest they offend someone, but also to report any and all biased statements to campus officials.

This sort of East Germany in 1980 behavior is key to promoting a free and open society and allowing for a mature exchange of ideas. Snitching and witch-hunting is the bedrock of high quality academic rigor.

“There is no place for hate, overt or subtle, at Penn State – such actions do not represent our mutually held values,” Eric Barron, president of Penn State, stated in a recent message to the campus community. 

We're going to completely stamp out unkind glances and sucking air through your teeth, if everything must burn to achieve this.

As a part of the campaign, the university is using posters and magnets to emphasize its Report Bias system set up under the Office of the Vice Provost for Educational Equity.

Fudging magnets, how do they work? I have no idea because my school is more concerned about teaching me to turn in my classmates.

More than 1,000 images of a stop sign in the form of posters and magnets have been distributed at Penn State.

If you're wondering why that tuition keeps going up, consider the need to appropriate funds to play inquisitor in the court of the clown king.

Lisa Powers, director of Penn State’s strategic communications office, said in an email to The College Fix that an act of intolerance includes microaggressions.

My spellchecker says that's not a word and for once I completely agree.

“An act of intolerance can be identified as any forms of microaggressions, verbal assaults, and/or racial subjugation,” Powers said.

Enslaving entire people groups and whispering something in my presence are now morally equivalent.

Powers said the bias reporting acts as a catharsis of sorts for students, acknowledging the public university has no right to hinder students’ First Amendment rights. 

The university system, proudly masturbating your emotions for several large a year.

“The First Amendment doesn’t just apply to those who express ideas with which we agree. It also applies to those whose ideas we may find challenging, repugnant or even appalling. By providing an outlet for individuals to report bias they have seen or experienced, we are giving them an equal right to express their thoughts and feelings on the matter.”

Paying off that massive loan and having no job skills is also challenging, repugnant and even appalling.

Full Story. 

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.