Monday, February 8, 2016

News You Can't Use: Sanders Supporters Banned from Tinder After Campaigning on Dating App

You know you live in the best of all possible worlds when meaningless and soul-destroying physical encounters with random warm bodies can be easily accessed by flicking a screen with a finger or two. There are, however, snakes in this garden. The quest for some of that sweet "let's just get this over with" and "please don't look directly at me, it's easier if I can pretend you're an object" is being derailed by Crazy Bernie supporters. Instead of launching the meat rocket and causing lasting damage to your ability to bond with others and form lasting relationships you just might get requests for your  vacuum pennies from communists.

Stumping for Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders on Tinder is getting some women banned from the online dating app after sending campaign messages to prospective matches.

Now if they could just get going on banning the fat ones, too. Am I right, bro? Oh yeah, you know it, woo woo.

Two women - one from Iowa and the other from New Jersey - confirmed to Reuters on Friday that they received notices from Tinder in the previous 24 hours that their accounts were locked because they had been reported too many times for peppering men on the site with messages promoting Sanders' candidacy.

The type of "Bern" you generally get from Tinder is the one that comes when you're trying to urinate the morning after, not this. But please, tell me all about the senile half-dead marxist, baby. It's getting me all worked up. He wants to tax and spend? I'm about to blow my top.

Robyn Gedrich, 23, said she sent messages to 60 people a day for the past two weeks trying to convince them to support the U.S. senator from Vermont in his race for the Democratic nomination against former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

In today's spiritually leprous America I suppose it is possible she was interested in all 840 mindless and faceless romance vectors, but it seems more reasonable to assume that something more sinister was at work here. This is not the solution for uncontrolled horny levels. This is not change we can believe in.

"Do you feel the bern?" her message to other Tinder users read, parroting a Sanders campaign slogan. "Please text WORK to 82623 for me. Thanks."

If you were starting to get optimistic about Generation Nothing this should end that.

Haley Lent, 22, a photographer from Cedar Rapids, Iowa, told Reuters in a Twitter message that she also got locked out of the app on Thursday night after sending messages trying to convince people to vote for Sanders the previous night.

I misused a one night stand service to promote Red Grandpa Simpson and they banned me. This is an outrage.

"I would ask them if they were going to vote in their upcoming primaries," she said. "If they said no or were on the fence, I would try to talk to them and persuade them to vote."

"What are you wearing? Could I take it off?"

"Are you going to vote in the New Hampshire primary?"

"I want to blank your brains out, I can't help it."

"Here's how you get registered..."

Tinder trolls and your frustrated lust, a metaphor.

A spokeswoman for Tinder, which is part of Match Group Inc, owned by IAC/InterActiveCorp IAC.O, did not respond immediately to a request for comment. 

What do they have to hide??? What are your crimes, nameless spokeswoman???

The two women are the not only ones making unusual use of Tinder, better known as a "hook-up" app, as a campaign tool. A Facebook (FB.O) group "Bernie Sanders Dank Tinder Convos" has 782 members.

American democracy is a serious business.

Gedrich said she got mixed responses from the 300 Tinder users who replied. "Some people would ask what is this for, and I would kind of explain," she said. "Some of them would unmatch me or report me as a bot." A bot (or robot) account is a scam profile used to send spam messages.

Woman posts obviously worthless spam, 300 replies. Man creates thoughtful and clever profile, tumbleweeds roll through.

Some responses simply read, "Trump2016," expressing support for Republican candidate Donald Trump, the real estate tycoon. "It was really alarming to see that a lot of people don't know what's going on in the world," she said.

Me, I support a failed ideology from the last century and believe everything my professors say, so I've earned the right to look down on real estate tycoon supporters.

None of her matches resulted in an actual date, she said.

About the success rate you'd expect from communism.

Full Article.

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here. 

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