Wednesday, September 24, 2014

News You Can't Use: Workers With Smart Phones at Health Risk

Every problem can be solved with the magical phone. Need to call someone? We can probably do that. Calming female voice to create the illusion of human contact while you huddle in your "Omega Man" bunker praying for the daylight that will drive off the mutants? No problem. Bird flight simulators? Aw, yeah. And hey, it gets even better! Now you can completely destroy the lines between work and your so-called own time by being constantly bothered by the next higher pay grade! Yes, comrade phone is our friend. Even if it does kill you.

German researchers studying the effects of people taking their work home with them at night or on weekends found that the workers were plagued by a host of issues, including cardiovascular problems, insomnia, headaches, muscular issues, fatigue, anxiety, and stomach problems, according to the Daily Mail.

Now for some of that efficient German research that has historically been a mighty force for good. As the dream of the 168 hour work week comes to fruition leave it to soft and lazy human assets to have tummy problems and general overall biological collapse.

The study, published in the journal Chronobiology International, examined 57,000 people, more than half of whom worked past normal hours, largely driven by access to smartphones and computer tablets.

Chronobiology International is probably best know for its above average fantasy international rugby coverage (All the hot picks on Team Fiji!) and that one issue every year where they're somehow allowed to show "artistic" nudity.

The researchers claim that the new advances in technology have prompted employers to expect their employees to be available at all hours, and asserted people’s bodies need purely recreational time to recover from work.

You crazy people and your soft and pathetic "needs." Once we fix that bug in our androids that causes them to turn violent and/or explode most of you whiners are out the door.

Remember when they were called "time saving devices?" I guess the new buzz phrase should be "life ruining devices."

Information and communication technologies, such as computers and smartphones... have the potential benefit and the potential inherent danger of making it possible for employees to be available any time and anywhere.

Much like a Panzer VI King Tiger it has both potential benefits and inherent danger.

Free time should be free time, otherwise it must be expected that it cannot fulfill functions of recovery and recuperation.

When the Germans are forced to champion our right to free time and recreation you know something is deeply wrong with the world.

The German study found that 90% of office workers have phones with email access, and one-third of those workers access their email over 20 times a day.

The "compulsive e-mail checking" disorder from the late 1990s is back and better than ever! We need to get this sucker into the DSM XXIX while it's still enjoying this comeback.

Last month, the German car maker Daimler installed software on its employees’ computers that deletes emails if the workers are on vacation; the company has 100,000 employees.

Now to have that software work all the time and you're set.

Daimler spokesman Oliver Wihofszki said: "The idea behind it is to give people break and let them rest. Then they can come back to work with a fresh spirit."

Where a giant wall and secret police failed, a day without a phone succeeded.

"Save me, German researchers!"

"It often needs to start at the top, with bosses taking the lead and attempting to change the culture at work. Not every country will implement regulations like France, so companies should look to make improvements of their own accord."

You could alert everyone to this New Culture initiative with repeated e-mails at 4 am on Christmas morning.

Full Story.

Komment Korner

I stare at two large lighted rectangles filled with information all day in my cube.

I always have to ask myself, "Is it worth it?"

It doesn't help that one boss is in EST and another in China time, so I have opposite time zones working against me.

Democrat propaganda can also make you sick.

They can be turned off! Find those buttons and use them, FCOL!

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Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read free excerpts here and here.

His first novel "The Foolchild Invention" is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

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