Wednesday, September 3, 2014

News You Can't Use: This Robot Bird of Prey is Designed to Scare Real Birds

Like most people I've been anxiously awaiting the next big leap forward in bird-frightening technology. I mean, we've got scarecrows and running at them with an open umbrella and that's adequate, I guess, but living in the age of technology it seems we should take this endless struggle to place fear in our feathered foes to the next level. Well, it happened. Eggheads have designed a robot bird that will completely shift the balance of power. Yeah, we took it on the chin in that first "Birds" movie, but when we get the inevitable limp remake we'll be ready.

Unless you look really close, this robot peregrine falcon would almost look like the real thing from a distance, especially while flapping its wings high above the sky.

This sentence is a total and complete mess. I guess we'll just have to keep waiting for Robot Fluff Piece Writers. It looks real from a distance, unless that distance is really close. And the flapping when it's above the sky and presumably in a low Earth orbit or something. Aw yeah. You're darn tootin'.

That resemblance to a real avian predator, however faint, might just be enough to scare away other birds that would other wise ruin crops or even endanger human lives.

Now it barely resembles a bird, after being a convincing counterfeit just one sentence previous. Is a little consistency in how much Robobird can "pass" too much to ask for?

These robotic birds, or robirds, as they are fondly called, aren't toys, even though they may look like one.

"It's not a TOY Dad! It's going to save crops and maybe even human lives! I'm not wasting my life on this, shut up!"

Developed by Clear Flight Solutions, they are design for a very serious purpose, to keep birds away from critical areas.

Stay out of our strategic Uranium stockpiles you dang birds!

Though obviously fake to humans, especially up close

It just keeps getting less realistic as the article continues. It's like the writer started, had a terrible life event interrupt this important work and then returned full of bitterness and cynicism. Let's displace our psychological pain onto mechanical birds, it's totally healthy.

Yet another use for this amazing invention!

The peregrine falcon robot has a wing span of 120 cm or 47 inches and can reach speeds of 80 km/h. There is, however, an even more frightening eagle model that reaches 220 cm or 86 in in wing span.

"Naw buddy, you don't want this model. I'll be honest for you, it's for old ladies. A Big Tough Man like yourself wants something more frightening...yeah, it is more expensive...don't worry about that..."

That would surely scare off birds away, not to mention some unsuspecting humans, too.

My secret existential crisis must have resolved itself, because it's back to pretending these decoys are convincing.

I, falcon.

The goal for the robirds is not just to chase away those pesky avians when the circumstances call for it but also to let those birds develop an aversion for certain areas.

We can get some of that righteous "Silent Spring" shiz-it going without the need for dangerous chemicals.

At the moment, the robird is remotely controlled, which makes it easier to single out and chase away stubborn birds. Eventually, however, autonomous flight is being eyed for these robots, though that should probably be undertaken with great caution lest this robirds become as big a danger as the birds they are seeking to shoo away.

This has "nothing could possibly go wrong" written all over it.

Komment Korner   

why would we drill into birds?

For their precious bird oil! It is the secret to living FOREVER!!! Muahahaha!!!

i have had numerous arguments with my liberal pals

Technology is rarely used for the betterment of mankind or the earth.

I'd like to see this thing mess with the hawk that we have in our woods behind where we live!!

Check Out My Books!

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read free excerpts here and here.

His first novel "The Foolchild Invention" is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

No comments:

Post a Comment