News You Can't Use: Fountain Of Youth May Be Sitting In Your Medicine Cabinet

Is there any problem that can't be solved by pills? Not that I know of. Need to get larger or smaller? Children behaving in a way that falls within normal parameters but is annoying or inconvenient? Looking to have old man sex? The answer is pills. What about the horrors of ordinary biological processes that remind us we're unique living beings and not characters from a commercial? Well, they're working on it. Soon we will all be able to realize the very wise and well thought-out dream of a Spanish explorer who suffered tropical madness in a Florida swamp. It's hard to imagine a better role model.

According to a new study from researchers at the National Institutes of Health (NIH), the commonly prescribed diabetes drug metformin has been shown to extend the lifespan of laboratory mice when given at a certain dosage.

Of course, you're not a mouse. You don't do tasks for rewards, or get evaluated by unseen and probably malevolent keepers. You're not confined to certain designated areas or told what to do with your time.

You know what, let's just ignore the shocking similarities between the average human life and the fate of a lab animal and focus on the age defying wonders of chemistry!

The mice given the smaller dose had an average 5.8 percent increase in their lifespan compared to a control group. The mice that were given the higher dosage experienced a 14 percent decrease in lifespan, mostly due to kidney failure. The low-dosage mice did not experience renal problems.

Yeah, you might get renal problems. I guess the ridiculously optimistic headline should have mentioned that. Still, think of the extra life! The only alternative is regular exercise and a sensible diet, but forget that. Let's take diabetes drugs instead.

The researchers initially decided to investigate metformin because previous studies have shown that it can diminish a variety of age-related conditions.

I prefer to imagine one researcher that plays by his own rules but gets the job done busting into the office of the Stupid Chief, I mean research head or whatever, and being all "It's time we get on this metformin!"

“Given that metformin is clinically proven to alleviate symptoms of these conditions, and reduce risk of cancer, we thought perhaps it was a good candidate to study for its broader effects on health and lifespan.”

 "...then my kidneys literally exploded."

Researchers noted that the drug had effects similar to a low-calorie diet intervention seen to extend life in previous animal studies.

Let's have no more of this crazy "low calorie diet" talk.

Despite the study’s encouraging results, the scientists emphasized that healthy people should not start a metformin regimen since more research needs to be conducted.

If you're not healthy, do whatever you want, I guess. It's hard to think of a condition that couldn't be worsened by a total breakdown in one of your body's major systems.

“It’s clear that we are edging toward developing a pharmaceutical intervention that is going to be able to delay or postpone aging,” he said. “For how much and how long I have no idea.”

"It's very clear we're getting closer to causing some thing to happen or maybe not happen that will have some sort of effect."

“In terms of history, we’re still at the very early stages of understanding how to slow aging in a safe way,” said co-author David Sinclair, a genetics professor at Harvard Medical School.

If you're content with a dangerous way, we've got that all set to go.

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Komment Korner 

Another try from pharmaceutical companies to make profit by marketing their poisonous drug by using vague research and media. Metforman is made of a herb, if it is so beneficial why not let human eat it as a salad or raw, instead of tablets. The same tablets failed to cure diabetes. Why most diseases are incurable these days....just life long treatment..means continuous profit for pharmaceutical. This is the system of Dijall (Free-mason) anti-Christ. I think at the present time bank(interest) , politicans, war (amunition maker) and pharama are the 4 major pillars of anti-christ (dijall)

A few curious things here are , metformin lowers iron levels , iron restriction mimics 'the effects of csaloric restriction,' and iron deprivation is being used in diabetes and nafld , the same diseases metformin is used? Could it be , as is hypothesised , increased iron leads to diabetes and metformin works by removing the elevated iron? "findings strongly suggest that the age-related accumulation in muscle iron contributes to increased oxidative stress and sarcopenia, and that caloric restriction effectively attenuates these negative effects.”


Aaron Zehner is not part of the system of Dijall (Free-mason). His first novel The Foolchild Invention is available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here. Makes a great gift and is guaranteed not to destroy your kidneys.