News You Can't Use: Police Union Calling For Arby’s Boycott After Officer Denied Service

I'm thinking Arby's. I'm also thinking that my left arm is tingling, there's a tightness in my chest, uncontrollable flatulence and other symptoms of total biological system failure, but it's worth it to enjoy heavily salted, cancer causing bovine products. It's also our right, insured by constitutional guarantees, to be able to go in and purchase that meat log regardless of who or what you are. So it comes as a small shock, a mild "how about that" to learn that the thin blue line that protects us from tyranny got poor treatment at this bottom-level deli.

A South Florida police union is calling for a national boycott of Arby’s after police say an officer was denied service.

What will win, my sense of outrage at injustice or the fact that my cheddar and beef curtain burger is so full of delicious sodium and fats.

Police said an employee at an Arby’s located at 11755 Pines Blvd denied the uniformed officer service on Monday night. 

Arby's employees, they're a law on to themselves. That scrawny and heavily acned fifteen year-old has been given the power to bind and to loose. Well, at least when it comes to wadded beef.  

“I am offended and appalled that an individual within our community would treat a police officer in such a manner.  It is unacceptable,” stated PPPD Chief Dan Giustino.
 
Thanks to everything and anything being classed as offensive it's hard to get much traction when a legitimate miscarriage of justice occurs. They protect us from barbarism and we won't even sell them "the meats." This is something that can not be accepted. The line must be drawn in the sand. Today it's this, tomorrow it might be doughnut shops and coffee dispensaries. We must hold back this day.

In reaction to the incident the Dade County Police Benevolent Association is calling for the employees involved to be fired.

Welcome to 2015 America where losing your low-paying, filthy and generally horrible fast food job is seen as a deterrent for bad behavior. I've flipped the burgers myself, and most people didn't seem too worried about getting the hook. In fact, more than once someone left after yelling some variation of "Why don't you go have oral sex with me?" but again, the times have changed.

As a proud swine-eater I have certain expectations.

In this case, after the clerk refused to serve the officer, the manager came up to the window laughing and said that the clerk had the right to refuse service to the officer.

When the "Can I see your manager?" gambit is preemptively defeated, you're stuck. 

After that the officer said she wasn’t certain she wanted to dine at the restaurant but the manager assured her everything was okay and handed the officer the food, according to the report.

Hmmmm. Better apply those crime-solving skills.

That’s when the officer said she was unsure about the condition of her food, decided not to eat there and asked for a refund, the report states.

Good call.

The company issued a statement on the matter saying, “We take this isolated matter very seriously as we respect and support police officers in our local communities. As soon as the issue was brought to our attention, our CEO spoke with the Police Chief who expressed his gratitude for our quick action and indicates the case is closed.  We will be following up with our team members to be sure that our policy of inclusion is understood and adhered to.” 

Bad behavior, empty and impotent outrage, a feigned apology motivated by fear of lost revenue, lots of meaningless words, the circle of life that moves us all.

Do not visit the ad-riddled source: http://miami.cbslocal.com/2015/09/02/pd-pines-officer-denied-service-at-arbys/

Komment Korner 

Just get the blue flu the next time that particular store calls in an armed robbery.

It's because you toss flash bang grenades in a baby's crib

 Do you like federal highways?

Next time you fly can you please take Malaysia Air?

We ain't buddies Lil Ricky, and I don't love Lucy. 


Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

Video Game Slush Pile: Duke Nukem Forever

Let me tell you a funny story. Back in 1996 there was a popular murder simulator. There were plans for a sequel. Then it didn't come out. For years. It was hilarious. Take all the same "Any day now!" sarcasms that were being applied to Guns 'n' Roses and you could easily transfer them to this. Promises and promises, decade old pre-order receipts, fake screenshots, it was a komedy kow that the video game community could just keep milking and the udder juice was just as tasty each time.

Then it came out in 2011. I guess the punch line needs some work.

In some ways I'm the ideal person to review this mess and not just because I'm, like, real, real good at the ritin' n' stuff. I'm not a fan of first person shooters, so the entire fifteen years of broken dreams was something I was aware of, but about as dispassionate about it as the average American is about the steady erosion of their rights. Then I saw this game a few months ago, on deep, deep discount and thought "why not!" After all, Chinese Democracy was pure, refined excellence so logically this should follow the same precedent. It's not like "follow the gun" games have changed much since the mid-nineties, right?

  The rating is the only "mature" thing about this.

As far as FPS games go, I thought it was ok. There's the usual collection of guns, sometimes you can throw explosives, and the enemies generally die when you shoot them. Maybe I'm being more forgiving because this wasn't one of those "cover-based" games where you must cower behind preternaturally durable boxes, popping out like finished toast at opportune moments to take a few shots and then resuming the fetal position because trying anything cool or daring will get you wrecked. That's the good news. The bad news is the fire fights are both surprisingly brief and quite difficult. From the title I assumed you'd be a one-man army constantly mowing down hapless foes, but that's not really the case.

   Hang on Sandra Bullshit, I'll save you.

There were some things that stood out as well-done. Your life bar is actually an "ego" bar (I'm protected by balancing the id and super-ego...no wonder I'm constantly dying). The bar can be increased by interacting with the game world and it's actually satisfying to discover ways to increase it. Look in mirror, get a boost. Use a urinal, get a boost. Just like in real life. I'm ready to take on the world as I leave that public restroom, let me tell you.

A lot of the ego increases are tied to crude interactive mini-games. Suffice it to say, they're unimpressive, hard to control and far from the state of the art for such diversions. Still, it's hard not to smile when Duke makes exaggerated moans after pocketing a ball in pool. There's an entire level set in a gentleman's club (You're knocked out and hallucinating...don't ask) that's almost nothing but this. 

Some of the other intentional humor comes in the form of the one-liners. You shoot a pig-alien and Duke says "I don't dig on swine." If you don't at least find that amusing, if dated, I don't know what to tell you. Speaking of references that probably were cutting edge in 1996 but didn't exactly age well for the eventual release we get the Olsen twins as running joke, at least until they die horribly in one of the most tone-deaf moments the game produces.

Still as popular as ever!

The bottom line is, for the most part, the constant grade school playground humor works. While reading some reviews to gather chaff for "The Critics Rave!" section, I noticed more than one reviewer was "offended." Yes, hurt feelings. We need laws. Sorry folks, that's the future we're heading into, where the super-violent and passionately sophomoric fun is a thing of the past. Video games will soon be as gelded as every other form of mass entertainment. 

I've made it a point to try to highlight the good, because the bad is plentiful. There's some truly painful puzzles (Do floating gun game mutants really enjoy these?) including some god-awful platforming. There's a reason most "jump from here to there" games are not first person, a very good reason. You can only carry two guns, cheap deaths are common, loading screens take an eternity, during the loading you get wacky tips like "Don't get hit to avoid damage," there's lame "turret" sequences, the one-liners repeat and start to grate, there's Zelda puzzle bosses and lame gimmicks like "Duke vision" and using steroids as a power-up. Yeah, there's plenty not to like, but overall it's at worst average for the genre. The bizarre release history is what ultimately made it such a desirable target for reviewers.

These will get me mad yolked, bro.

Graphics: Some really disappointing textures, here. Just kidding. They were good enough.

Controls: You have to use your jump to land on platforms and it's a nightmare. Everything else seemed decent enough. The mini-games are a total joke, ranging from nearly unplayable (pool) to merely bad (pinball).

Depth: Yeah, right. You shoot pig-aliens and move around objects to solve truly painful puzzle sequences. The storyline involves the return of the aliens you defeated last time trying to take our women. You get even by blasting them. One thing of note is that this game mocks our government as timid and reluctant to fight even in the face of obvious danger, as opposed to more conventional "wit" where our president is a trigger-happy cowboy of the "Fool me...once...won't get fooled again!" school.

Overall: C+ for the actual game, F------ for a fifteen year wait. 

The Critics Rave!  

Duke returns in classic form, and he's never felt so old, so out of place, and so embarrassing. Just wait until you find the wall boobs. - IGN 

Every time I put the controller down, I felt the need to rub my hands on my jeans as if the game were making me physically dirty. It's like watching your uncle tell racist jokes at Thanksgiving and praying someone has the guts to tell him to cut it out, but this time it's interactive—and you're the uncle. - Opposable Thumbs

This time around, toilets are indestructible - Gamesradar 

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.