News You Can't Use: Bus-Sized Asteroid Heading for Earth TODAY

I wish I had something more relevant to herald my triumphant return from another long absence, but instead it's just a dull piece about our impending destruction by space rocks. We're staring down the barrel of mass extinction events, the end of civilization and the very real possibility of losing cell phone coverage. Luckily, it actually isn't going to happen, but hey, everyone enjoys sensationalism and literal "sky is falling" over-reaction, right? Hey, come back here!

The newly-discovered space rock – named Asteroid 2017 TD6 – is expected to zoom past our planet at around at around 7.53pm. 

Maybe the headline shouldn't have strongly implied it was going to hit us in light of this new revelation, but on the other hand I'm sure relieved. It's like the end of one of those 20/20 pieces about people dying in public pools and I realize I never go in pools, ever, and a sort of catharsis occurs. Yes, like that.

It will be travelling at a distance of 191,000km away from civilisation.

Since I'm an American I have no idea if that's close or not.

According to NASA the chunk of rock is a whopping 22m wide.

After several hours of researching the so-called "metric" system I can now inform my beloved readership that 2017 TD6 falls into the "no big deal" category.

Last week another asteroid made a close shave with Earth, as it soared past at a distance of just 27,000 miles above the surface. And experts have warned a second bus-sized asteroid will zoom past our planet again today at half the distance between the Earth and the moon.

If I'd known you'd do the conversion for me in the very next sentence I could have saved a lot of time. Also, Europe, are we talking one of those red-double decker deals or a normal correct bus with only one floor like it's supposed to be?

But thankfully, experts predict there is no threat of it hitting out planet.

This is great news. I really didn't want to miss out on the College Football.

The asteroid was discovered by the Pan-STARRS survey in Hawaii last Wednesday.

A talent agency, by the sound of it.

While 2017 TD6 is expected to miss our planet, if it did hit Earth, experts believe it would be worst than the impact of the 59ft asteroid that hit the city of
Chelyabinsk in Russia in 2013.

It might break a few windows and knock some icons off the wall, in other words.

During its journey, the asteroid narrowly missed communications satellites orbiting 22,236 miles above Earth.

The nightmare of losing Instagram and the latest "hook up" "apps," narrowly averted. 

But in one of its next passes with Earth, experts suggest that 2012 TC4 may not miss.

This is not helping our "Why are all scientists liars?" problem, let me tell you.

The near-misses coincide with end of the world fears. Doomsayers believe a huge alien world called Nibiru or Planet X is hurtling through space towards us – and will hit tomorrow.

This is the kind of thing a, for example, Hawaii observatory or perhaps the naked eye, would be able to notice, but on the other hand think of the awesome cognitive dissonance these true believers have to look forward to.

The planet will cause devastation on Earth with a direct hit or catastrophic near miss, believers warn.

We needed an extra paragraph for this article, so here's some totally inane Chicken Little drivel. 

Full Article.

Komment Korner

What is it with your obsession regarding the end of the earth stories EVERYDAY. Why don't you give us all a break and report some REAL news.

I'm more worried about the 18 wheelers that that are near misses or collisions on the interstate highways each and everyday.
 
This site needs an editor that understands english spelling and grammar

Why have you used miles away for one and kilometer away for the other?

Space junk debris constantly flames out in the atmosphere.

OK.  So much for scientists.  I would have rather not known.


Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

News You Can't Use: NASA Inspector Blasts Asteroid Protection Program

Having solid asteroid protection plans in place is very important, just like in all those horrible movies. We must have a handsome and diverse crew ready to blast off to the tune of Aerosmith songs at a moment's notice. You wouldn't think this would even be controversial. Leave it to some crank "inspector" to call into question this money well spent.

 NASA's effort to identify potentially dangerous space rocks has taken a hit.

If you want to talk about taking hits and crazy dangerous space rocks, man...I ended up on the roof of the garage battling invisible snakes before deciding I could fly...

On Monday, the space agency's inspector general released a report blasting NASA's Near Earth Objects program, which is meant to hunt and catalog comets, asteroids and relatively large fragments of these objects that pass within 28 million miles of Earth. The purpose is to protect the planet against their potential dangers.

Certainly making a nice catalog of the assorted space run-off will also protect the planet.

Most near-Earth objects harmlessly disintegrate before reaching Earth's surface. But there are exceptions, like the nearly 60-foot meteor that exploded over Russia in 2013, causing considerable damage.

Some windows broke in Volkonograd! Authorize billions in wasteful spending!

In a 44-page report, Inspector General Paul Martin said the Near Earth Objects program needs to be better organized and managed, with a bigger staff.

Job bloat and having many new managers who aren't sure who they're accountable to is clearly the answer. Only in a government agency can the solution to the expected waste and inefficiency actually make things much, much worse.

NASA's science mission chief, former astronaut John Grunsfeld, agreed and promised the problems will be fixed.

If you'd like one of these magical new government jobs please send in your "Asteroids" high scores.

 I bet I'd play better if three other people were helping me hit the buttons.

For nearly a decade, the report noted, NASA has been tracking near-Earth objects bigger than 460 feet across. The goal was to catalog 90 percent by 2020.

A 10% failure rate would make it the most efficient government agency ever, but we've got a long way to go before that happens.

The space agency has discovered and plotted the orbits of more than 11,000 near-Earth objects since 1998, an estimated 10 percent. It does not expect to meet the 2020 deadline.

Working for the Fedgov, a one act play.

"Are you going to meet the deadline?"

"No."

"Okay. It doesn't matter anyway. Here's your pay."

The program has insufficient oversight, Martin's office concluded, and no established milestones to track progress.

Right now the "milestone" they're tracking is "was the Earth destroyed by falling objects." So far no, so all is well.

Full Story.

Check Out My Books!

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read free excerpts here and here.

His first novel "The Foolchild Invention" is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.