News You Can't Use: Terrifying Robot SPIDER Can Roll Up into a Ball and Somersault Towards You

It seems the main purpose of robotic technology is to provide an endless stream of horrors as a prelude to the final rise of the machines and destruction of their human creators. We've got autonomous cars that haven't been programmed to deal with minor things like pedestrians, artificial intelligences that default to creepy laughter and "I must kill all humans" if we turn our backs for even a second or two and now terrifying robo-spiders. Why are we making these things? Honestly, where is the benefit? Oh well, progress and all that.

If you’re not a fan of spiders, you may want to look away now.  

Trigger Warning: mechanized eight-legged freaks.

Scientists from Festo have designed a robotic spider that can walk or roll up into a ball and somersault.

I'm not sure how something with arachnid physiology can "somersault," so it must be assumed that this is code for "launch itself at your face in a homicidal attack."

The robot, dubbed BionicWheelBot, is inspired by the flic-flac spider - a species discovered in the Erg Chebbi desert on the edge of the Sahara in 2008.  

Before you blame us for unleashing this waking nightmare I should remind you that insane Mother Nature was doing it first.

The flic-flac spider can walk like other spiders, but can also also propel itself into the air, with a combined sequence of somersaulting and rolling on the ground.

The plan for next year is a robotic millipede and can fire itself like a disgusting multi-limbed bullet.

This unique movement makes the flic-flac spider ideally adapted to its surroundings.

It's adapted far better than you, you pathetic obsolete meat-sack.

On even ground, the spider is twice as fast in rolling mode than when walking, while on uneven surfaces, it is faster walking normally.

It's still not resistant to a sledgehammer, though. Hint, hint.

This means that in the desert, where both types of terrain can be found, the spider can move safely and efficiently.

Here in the desert we have both kinds of ground, anything you want. 

 You afraid of spiders? You afraid of robot spiders? You afraid of robot spiders in pictures??? Man, you are one scared cat.

To roll, the BionicWheelBot bends three legs each on the left and right of its body to make a wheel. 

This process is unbelievably frightening, sorry we temporary neglected harping on that.

Meanwhile in walking mode, the robot uses all six legs, with the other two folded up.

If two legs are folded up, how can it be using "all" of its legs? I may have found a logical error in an article about spider bots.

Full Article.

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.