DotTeeVee: Sovereign Citizens Getting Owned 2 COMPILATION, Part VI

Last time on Sovereign Citizens Getting Owned we discovered what your upper body would look like if you never did a push-up in your life, we got a convincing argument for banning all immigration, ever, for any reason and the new King of America performed his self-coronation. If that wasn't enough, a diabolic plan to sell our names to China was uncovered and I learned that I'm never going to try to review a video longer than seven minutes or so again, ever, because this has totally consumed my life with no end in sight. Fortunately, I scouted ahead and from here on in we get some classy Old World charm from the British and, as far as I know, being a U.S. American without maps, their neighboring wayward children.

Am I free to go? Am I being detained? Do I have to answer this map question?

Sure enough, our next Free Man expresses outrage over a traffic stop in his distinct Slopeshire accent. This already feels much classier. I bet he's even wearing a shirt. Sadly, the "bobby" is making the universal request for ihnen papiern, bitte and it seems that no amount of appealing to "What law says that?" is going to prove useful for ending this predictable impasse. The authorities, the last hero and his fellow "traveler" (because we're traveling instead of driving, which is a commercial term, I don't know if they're communists) confer independently, each group coming up with a plan of action.

Those plans turn out to be "smash the glass" and "keep acting passive-aggressive and hope that somehow de-escalates the situation, respectively. 

Outrage is expressed as the cruel hands of tyranny mill about listlessly. "Are you gonna put up with this?" This is the question we must all answer, lest our freedom to be a jerk to poorly paid and overworked public servants starts to slip through our fingers. 

In the background a "tyres" truck drives past, confirming that we're across the pond.

"Look at this aggression!" This is immediately followed by shattering glass. Travel 3000 miles and nothing changes. The camera goes black. "Get out!" Addition high-pitched whining follows from The Resistor and the clip abruptly ends.

If you ain't Millwall I'll bash ya, you bleeding wanker.

Looks like we're back in the good old USA for the next clip, as unconfirmed by the ubiquitous obesity and "I flipped off your [fudging] friend." Sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. The officers challenge our hero's right to use "foul language" earning goofy laughter in return. Honestly, after watching a few hours of this stuff I'm ready to vote against due process, a chance we'll hopefully get very soon. 

The Private Citizen only wants to talk to the fascist he "flipped off," I guess under the assumption that this individual would be the most sympathetic, which is totally reasonable. Instead, it's cuffing time and we're already done here. Truly the one that laughs last, laughs best.

Time for more Britain. This time the thrall of the Evil Queen wants "details" and there are no prizes for guessing the response. We then discover that "an act is not a law" which is sheer brilliancy. Arrest is threatened and the man of courage demands a warrant. It's like this guy watched Perry Mason while high on PCP and now thinks he's a legal expert. With no warning whatsoever the window gets smashed. "Shit!"

These sovereign citizens are putting my kids through college! 

There's various mutterings in heavy prole accents that defy interpretation and another enemy of Big Brother gets arrested. I know, who could have predicted this?

Back to America, where a live-action version of Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel refuses to remove his battered NASCAR hat in a court room setting. "Many people consider it disrespectful NOT to wear a hat," explains his equally disheveled buddy, no doubt blowing the minds of "the squares." He then goes on to suggest that the cap-wearing might be religious in nature and who are you, punk, to claim one religion is better than another. Yeah, take that! This is a lot better than complying with a perfectly reasonable request.

Dale Junior is my religion.

Another polite entreaty is, of course, rejected. This is illegal force and a usurpation of my rights. We didn't fight the War Between the States to return home to this kind of treatment. "Treat others as you would want to be treated." Wow, far out. We're going to defeat the hat nazis with the power of LOVE, man. My ratty headgear stays on. I'm a human being full of value.

Time to get arrested. Our lid aficionado refuses to assist in his arrest, just like a scruffy, totally unlikable version of Gandhi.  This leads to a lot of goofy behavior, dutifully recorded on phones by scumbags with massive beer bellies. If you want to "accidentally" hit that button Mr. Putin, I totally understand.

...and I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free...

More references to the Golden Rule fall on the wooden ears of tyranny. I'd let you wear a cap, if the roles were reversed. I'm just saying. The passive resistance continues, ultimately culminating in a wheelchair for the greatest human being currently alive. "What do you plan on doing?" Gee, I wonder. The bony rear end is placed in the seat and additional sarcastic comments are made, because I treat others how I would like to be treated, except when it becomes even the tiniest of burdens. The dirtbag gets rolled off. Godspeed, my true friend, you were too beautiful for this world.

Can you believe we're almost done? Tune in next time for the shocking conclusion of Sovereign Citizens Getting Owned 2 COMPILATION.

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.