News You Can't Use: San Francisco Sheriff Deputies Charged for 'Fight Club' Duels

Today's bit of worthless current events has a little bit of everything. We've got a headline that confuses deputy gladiator rings with "Fight Club," a mistake you might make if you're culturally illiterate and have also never watched an episode of "Walker: Texas Ranger," leaving a very small demographic indeed. The story itself provides ample grist for whatever political axe you have to grind, from "We're a prison planet, man" gray pony tail onanism to "Look at what the dumbocrats do when they have power" internet commentators and whatever increasingly non-existent moderate middle still remains. The upshot is we're going to break both the first and second rules of Sheriff Deputy Fight Club Gladiator Battles and talk about it in great depth.

Three San Francisco sheriff's deputies were charged with arranging "Fight Club" duels between jail inmates, and one of the deputies made prisoners gamble for food, clothing and bedding, prosecutors said on Tuesday.

The whole point of "Fight Club," was, of course, the struggle for existential meaning and resistance against a soul-killing system, a theme that would have been somewhat undermined if the hero was a prisoner told by Deputy Corruption he'll be fighting for ownership of bedding. Or maybe just throwing dice for bedding, it could be that, too, I guess.

The criminal charges came as newly elected San Francisco Sheriff Vicki Hennessy was implementing jail reforms, such as increased use of video cameras, to prevent such offences.

That new broom sure sweeps clean. We're going to reduce the amount of organized inmate brawls by putting cameras everywhere because this is the closest thing we have to a caring God in today's world.

The two current San Francisco sheriff's deputies and one former deputy were expected to surrender within two days, said Max Szabo, a spokesman for the prosecutors. 

Please turn yourself in so we can severely punish your aberrant behavior. Don't go ruining the honor system for everyone else, all right?

Prosecutors brought the most serious charges against ex-deputy Scott Neu, including assault by an officer, criminal threats and inhumanity to a prisoner. He could be sentenced to 10 years in prison if convicted.   

On today's episode of "Baby's First Bitter Irony" we've got an inherently dehumanizing prison system that's worried about the inhumanities committed by individual officers and to show how serious we are about that we'll make offenders faceless numbers in the same broken system.

On March 5, 2015, Neu pitted two jail inmates against each other, threatening to use a taser gun against them unless they fought, prosecutors said.

Remember when Brad Pitt character did that? What do you mean, "no?" This is just like Fight Club, down to the smallest details.

Thinking they had no choice, the inmates battled and the smaller one hurt his rib, prosecutors said. Chiba is accused of watching the melee and not stopping it.

Let's example the inner thought life of criminal scum forced to cause minor rib damage to appease their heartless captors.

The next day, Neu again forced the pair to fight and this time Jones took part in pitting the two inmates against each other, prosecutors said.

Well, yesterday's fight was a predictable disappointment that failed to satiate my sick blood lust, so let's do it again today and hope for better "action" this time.

Neu's attorney, Harry Stern, said in a statement there was no "fight club".

I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't see the connection.

"Deputy Neu allowed two inmates to wrestle to settle a minor dispute. In retrospect, he shouldn’t have. This is the sum and substance of the case," Stern said.

It was simply a club where fights were organized, certainly not a "fight club."

Hennessy, who was elected in November, said the accused deputies were stationed at an outdated jail and the alleged actions occurred under her predecessor, Ross Mirkarimi.

If only there were up-to-date bars and concrete walls everyone would have no doubt conducted themselves with quiet dignity.

Wellington turns out to be a fictional creation of his own mind.

"I'm not going to say it's his fault. What I am going to say is we need to do more there," Hennessy said in a phone interview. 

More tax and spend, the constant solution for unending problems.

District Attorney George Gascón said in a statement that subjecting inmates "to degrading and inhumane treatment makes a mockery of (the) justice system."

Now to get back to ignoring White collar crime.

Full Article.

Komment Korner   

Its a privilege to work in a public employment capacity.

Hey that's a good idea. Fight Clubs

Why oh why do so many non-criminal citizens have little or no trust with LEAs and police officers? Why oh why?

10 years is getting off easy.

San Francisco, that's a liberal stronghold isn't it?

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

News You Can't Use: Video Shows Officer Confronting Man Filming Arrests In Towson

Hello again comrades, how are you doing on this beautiful day our government has given us? I trust you're busy winning that victory over yourself. I am also doing great. This glass of Victory Gin might be the best I've ever tasted, as you probably guessed by the tears of joy sliding down my nose. I just heard we've pretty much got that war in EastIran won, isn't that exciting? Yes, I think so too. Anyway, here's a story about all of our freedoms.

A man videotaped Baltimore County police as they arrested two people in Towson, but an altercation broke out between the man and officer. Now an investigation is underway.

Clearly the government and its hero servants are correct, as always.

I hate to break character but this has to be said. Videotaped? Really? I'm pretty sure it's all digital now. Is "recorded" really such a difficult concept for the average troglodyte that still gets their news from mainstream sources? Do we have to provide comforting references to yesterday's obsolete technology so that no one panics?

County police officials say they are concerned by the video and they’ve launched an investigation.

Or, more accurately "We're concerned about the negative reactions of the serfs so we're launching a cover-up."

Early Sunday morning, a man videotaped as Baltimore County police arrested two people in Towson. As the video rolled, he was confronted by an officer.

Again with the videotape and even "rolling." What is this? I picture a giant 1940s movie camera. I'd love to hear this reporter explain YouTube. "It's like a giant collection of VHS and Beta tapes! You don't even have to rewind them!"

“I’m allowed to do this,” he told the officer.

“Get it out of my face,” the officer replied.

“I have my rights,” the man said.

“You have no rights,” the officer said.

The land of the get out of my face and the home of no rights whatsoever.

“Do you see the police presence here? Do you see us all? We’re not [expletive] around. Do you understand? Do not disrespect us and do not not listen to us,” the officer said. “Now walk away and shut your [expletive] mouth or you’re going to jail, do you understand?”

Protect and serve, that's what we do.

Imagine this guy messing with your VHS camcorder...forever.

“I thought I had freedom of speech here,” the man said.

“You don’t. You just lost it,” the officer replied.
 

While you were watching those awesome late-season replacement television shows we stripped away your most basic rights. Just thought you'd like to know. Reasonable search and seizure protections? Sorry, they just took a walk. Not having to quarter soldiers in your house? That right just evaporated a moment ago, tough break.

“I think the officer in the video is extraordinarily agitated, hostile and unprofessional. I think it’s highly problematic,” said David Rocah, ACLU Maryland. “The fact that officers can act this way, knowing that they’re being filmed, I think shows a level of impunity that is quite troubling.”
 

Naw, it's all fine. Come on.

“There needs to be either further training for the police and perhaps some appropriate disciplinary action for this individual policeman,” Rosenberg said.

All right cadets, today we start our special "This is not a totalitarian nightmare state" training. 

In a statement, county police officials say they recognize and respect the rights of citizens to film officers on duty in a public place, unless the person filming has violated a law or statute.

You can do whatever you want...as long as it doesn't violate the millions of laws and statutes that clearly say you can't. 

In the interest of Right Think do not visit the source or watch the "tape" of the incident available there.

Shill Section

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read a free excerpt here.

His first novel The Foolchild Invention is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

DotTeeVee: DUI checkpoint refusal at illegal Tahoe roadblock

Our freedom to be a jerk might be the most precious one we have. All right, after our freedom to buy products and pay taxes. It's a strong runner up, anyway. The best part about exercising your civil right to social retardation and inability to grasp how things work is that you can make a post hoc claim that you were actually fighting the good fight and are some sort of bizarre hero. Even better if this process can be recorded and then shared with the world via the invisible wires.

Like most totally righteous stories this one begins with the Man With No Face riding his steel horse right into the teeth of low-level totalitarianism. We get lots of annotations during this process so that we "get" that this is no mere "watch me break local speed limits on my bad bike!" or "here's my vacation" video, but rather the courageous stand of the last honest man against forces of pure evil. Forces that can't be bothered to put up "burning beam lights" to mark the exact location of their tyranny.

  Epic fascism fail!

This is just a theory and there's no way I can prove it, but I think the fact that we're in broad daylight might, just might, explain the lack of flares and lanterns. For whatever reason, this seems to be a major issue for this guy, to the point that viewers are totally missing the point. He even says exactly that in the "video description." What the point is, exactly, remains impenetrable. 

Like a scene from an ill-conceived "Maximum Overdrive" re-imagining we join a line of cars waiting to have their freedom infringed upon by the jack boot squad. Literally nothing is happening, so I take the uploader's advice and skip ahead to the beginning of the "seizure" at the 4:30 mark. No, there's not going to be any epilepsy. Sorry to get your hopes up. 

By the author of "Lil Billy and the Star Chamber."

With the promise of Fourth Amendment usurpation, I jump ahead to the middle of the video. I deeply apologize for any sanctimonious wise-assery that might have been missed. An officer in one of those fluorescent vests usually worn by midnight joggers (remember, no lanterns!) gives the international gesture for "open your helmet's visor, Sir Knight, I wish to parley rather than engage in a manful clash of arms." This pretty unambiguous signal leads to more annotation smart mouth. It's almost as if this patriot and guardian of our rights is going out of his way to find things to be offended by.

  Another highway patrol pretty boy.

After using his words, the visor is raised. You know, maybe if we just comply with the instructions this will end easily and painlessly. The officer wants to know if any drinking has been going on and, channeling the spirit of Ghandi our hero is all "No questions!" This stand against the machinery of the wicked goes back and forth a few times before the motorsickle man is instructed to "pull over." Because this is an "order" compliance occurs. If only he'd been ordered to answer the question all of this could have been avoided, perhaps. 

This is a bit of a mixed message.

With that the "illegal seizure" portion of the video ends and we enter into the "unlawful imprisonment" phase. Maybe I missed it, but I didn't really see any property rights violated. I saw some goof that wanted to be difficult and a very long-suffering and good-humored officer, but that was about it. Hopefully the coming outrages will be of a higher class. 

So we "potato-potato-potato-potato" the chopper toward what I'm sure the creator of this video would call "The Free Speech Zone" but is actually used for drunks and cranks. This break in the scintillating drama that is unfolding provides another chance to quote chapter and verse from local statutes, like an alternate universe Joe Friday who was kicked off the force and became a human derelict fighting imaginary battles against enemies that exist only in his mind. He also bitches about taxes. I mean, taxes? What's up with those? Am I right?

Yeah, get busy guys. Smuggle arms to Mexican drug runners or something!

Next the possibility of actual martyrdom is broached, as an officer "reaches for his weapon!" Sadly the "mad cop disease" doesn't actually kick in, but that won't stop the Sole Defender of the Constitution from making repeated and paranoid references to this for the rest of the video. Instead, the same question about drinking is repeated, without result. He even gets uppity about raising the visor again, until "ordered." 

If you're having trouble following the logic of what the Minority of One does, here's a handy cheat sheet: Orders = Yes, Questions = No, Favors = No, Common Decency that Could Immediately End This Situation = No. Hand signs to raise visor = No, After the Fact Snark and Tough Talk = Yes.

After deflecting some more polite requests he really puts it down: "Let me know when I'm free to go." Ok, it's not exactly going to be the first choice of quotes to go on the statue that will one day be built for the brave, brave man who defeated the DUI checkpoint, but it will have to do.

 This is a prison planet, man.

The inevitable "ihnen paperien, bitte" occurs and incredibly this is also complied with after minimal fuss. This guy isn't so much anti-tyranny as he's anti-questions about drinking. Everything else he just goes along with. Der Kommissar checks the papers and apparently everything is in order because no one goes for their weapons or anything. Upon request the officers provide their own information, which will make it nice and easy for the modern answer to Samuel Adams to file a report on how polite and professional they were in the face of his crazy behavior.

The officer even apologizes for any inconvenience he may have caused. Tyranny! Hand on weapon! 1984!

Free to go it's time to drive off into the sunset. We're told that because of this video the roadblocks were either cancelled or provided with adequate illumination (even thought that isn't the point!). Another glorious victory for people that hate answering questions. We wrap up with an offer to see our hero deal with a "phony" roadblock and get arrested for DUI. Yeah, maybe later.

 The Catcher in the Road.

Komment Korner  

your a redicules kid grow up

Thanks for sharing your opinions with me.

 

i hope ur meaing to burn your clutch out 

Well score one for the cops. They acted professionally against a guy looking to create a problem. This tried to draw attention to himself and make the cops look bad..... FAIL. The cops look real good and this guy just made bikers look bad.

you need to grow up or get laid

Aaron Zehner's first novel The Foolchild Invention is available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.