News You Can't Use: Nationwide Paintball Wars Causing Concern For Baltimore Police

As a veteran of a thousand paintball wars my body is more wounds and splattered primary colors than flesh. Such is the sacrifice required by a coast-to-coast struggle that you probably weren't even aware of, but should be. It's even starting to become what might be considered a "concern" for law enforcement, I guess right up there with collecting revenue from people driving too fast in that one stretch where the speed limit is ridiculously low and all those unsolved murders.

Nationwide, police are tackling a new type of gun violence. Hundreds of paintball shootings have been reported in multiple states, and now it’s picking up in Baltimore.

When our founders granted us the right to use paint as a weapon of self-defense the most dangerous thing was a musket that vomited out a rainbow of pain and then took a minute to reload. They couldn't have anticipated the dangers of high-capacity ball holders.

“Guns Down, Paint Balls Up” is a movement that was intended to curb gun violence. 

The solution creates new problems, just like any good solution.

“It started in Atlanta, with a rapper who started putting things on YouTube and Instagram,” said Milwaukee Police Sgt. Melissa Franckowiak.

For those who were claiming modern rap is creatively bankrupt drivel, here's the irrefutable proof that it isn't.

Police say Atlanta-based rapper 21 Savage’s campaign against firearms may have backfired — they’ve linked at least two deaths to paintball wars.

Maybe we shouldn't be using Dirty South rappers as a source of public policy. Also, it ain't funny, my brother died like that.

In April, 3-year-old T’Rhigi Diggs was shot while he slept in the back of his mother’s car in Milwaukee. Police say he was killed by a teen who fired a handgun at people shooting paintballs.

Please ignore how this paragraph is a total mess that makes zero sense.

“It’s something we want to get in front of, and let people know it is illegal, it is something we are taking seriously.”

I'm sure you'll be a lot more successful with this particular crusade than you've been with every single other one.

 There were no survivors.

People caught firing a paintball gun could face disorderly conduct or other criminal charges.

We'll come up with something, don't worry.

Full Article.

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

News You Can't Use: Video Shows Officer Confronting Man Filming Arrests In Towson

Hello again comrades, how are you doing on this beautiful day our government has given us? I trust you're busy winning that victory over yourself. I am also doing great. This glass of Victory Gin might be the best I've ever tasted, as you probably guessed by the tears of joy sliding down my nose. I just heard we've pretty much got that war in EastIran won, isn't that exciting? Yes, I think so too. Anyway, here's a story about all of our freedoms.

A man videotaped Baltimore County police as they arrested two people in Towson, but an altercation broke out between the man and officer. Now an investigation is underway.

Clearly the government and its hero servants are correct, as always.

I hate to break character but this has to be said. Videotaped? Really? I'm pretty sure it's all digital now. Is "recorded" really such a difficult concept for the average troglodyte that still gets their news from mainstream sources? Do we have to provide comforting references to yesterday's obsolete technology so that no one panics?

County police officials say they are concerned by the video and they’ve launched an investigation.

Or, more accurately "We're concerned about the negative reactions of the serfs so we're launching a cover-up."

Early Sunday morning, a man videotaped as Baltimore County police arrested two people in Towson. As the video rolled, he was confronted by an officer.

Again with the videotape and even "rolling." What is this? I picture a giant 1940s movie camera. I'd love to hear this reporter explain YouTube. "It's like a giant collection of VHS and Beta tapes! You don't even have to rewind them!"

“I’m allowed to do this,” he told the officer.

“Get it out of my face,” the officer replied.

“I have my rights,” the man said.

“You have no rights,” the officer said.

The land of the get out of my face and the home of no rights whatsoever.

“Do you see the police presence here? Do you see us all? We’re not [expletive] around. Do you understand? Do not disrespect us and do not not listen to us,” the officer said. “Now walk away and shut your [expletive] mouth or you’re going to jail, do you understand?”

Protect and serve, that's what we do.

Imagine this guy messing with your VHS camcorder...forever.

“I thought I had freedom of speech here,” the man said.

“You don’t. You just lost it,” the officer replied.
 

While you were watching those awesome late-season replacement television shows we stripped away your most basic rights. Just thought you'd like to know. Reasonable search and seizure protections? Sorry, they just took a walk. Not having to quarter soldiers in your house? That right just evaporated a moment ago, tough break.

“I think the officer in the video is extraordinarily agitated, hostile and unprofessional. I think it’s highly problematic,” said David Rocah, ACLU Maryland. “The fact that officers can act this way, knowing that they’re being filmed, I think shows a level of impunity that is quite troubling.”
 

Naw, it's all fine. Come on.

“There needs to be either further training for the police and perhaps some appropriate disciplinary action for this individual policeman,” Rosenberg said.

All right cadets, today we start our special "This is not a totalitarian nightmare state" training. 

In a statement, county police officials say they recognize and respect the rights of citizens to film officers on duty in a public place, unless the person filming has violated a law or statute.

You can do whatever you want...as long as it doesn't violate the millions of laws and statutes that clearly say you can't. 

In the interest of Right Think do not visit the source or watch the "tape" of the incident available there.

Shill Section

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read a free excerpt here.

His first novel The Foolchild Invention is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.