DotTeeVee: Stuff They Don't Want You To Know - Denver International Airport

When it comes to highly concentrated supernatural evil airports are probably not the first thing you think of, but today's video might just change that if you can face up to the awful truth. Granted, there's plenty of mundane evil at your average plane hole: little old ladies being strip-searched, goons with guns laughing at your privates as you're bathed in radiation, ridiculously high priced booze, the list goes on and on. However, according to some internet crank, this is just the tip of the iceberg and at least one airport might actually be housing extraterrestrials, political dissidents and/or the real birth certificate in secret underground tunnels. Turn off the part of your brain that controls the ability to doubt outrageous claims, put down the fluoridated tap-water poison and make sure your thoughts aren't being scanned because it's time to discover the secrets THEY don't want you to know!

That awkward feeling when the Third Party crank candidate is totally vindicated.

Surplus X-Files props are displayed while our narrator explains that history is full of unexplained events and then quickly clarifies that he means saucer people and spoon-bending and not real legitimate historical mysteries like who won the Korean War or why it took people so long to figure out the benefits of regular washing. We are then given the chance to chicken out if we're too sissy to learn about the unseen wire-pullers. Are you a bad enough dude to hear these highly implausible speculations? I will give a small amount of credit to this video for keeping the "Do you have the guts to take the red pill and find out how deep the Denver Airport really goes?" portion mercifully brief and not using the words "lemmings" or "sheeple."

  I think for myself, which is why I listen mostly to Jenny McCarthy and anti-Semites.

We discuss Denver's growth as a city, one of maybe three or four statements in this entire video that is based in what some people call "reality." This economic boom led to the opening of a beautiful new airport and everyone was happy. The End. 

Yeah, just kidding. You see, here's where is gets crazy. And that's not my opinion, either. The video has a special graphic and everything to inform us that we're now entering Crazyland. Please observe local laws. Or don't, who would even notice, right?

"You unlock this door with the key of extreme credulity..."

Yup, let's get nuts. A conspiracy theorist named Phil Schneider, who's credentials consist of...well, nothing, believes there's an underground base beneath the airport. I know if I was going to build a secret underground base that's where I would put it, assuming my first idea of putting it on the fifty yard line of the Mile High Stadium was rejected for some reason. But what in the world is down there? We get three possibilities: aliens (yeah, you knew that was coming), a concentration camp or one of those apocalypse survival shelters. 

You're probably wondering what the evidence is for the existence of this multi-purpose basement of evil. The short answer is "none." The long answer is there's some ugly mural depicting "multi-culturalism" in the airport, complete with coffins, half-human soldiers and scenes of violence. All of this just screams "underground malevolence facility." See a picture of a white hand shaking a black hand? You're probably very close to a prison for space invaders.

  New From Dan Brown: "The Communist Mural Code."

Why would the shape-shifting energy vampires that rule over us leave all this evidence? We are told it either suggests massive arrogance on the part of the Beast System or some rebel is trying to secretly warn us about the wild shit going down under the runway. When asked about these possibilities the artist's response was basically "please leave me alone." This proves he's been paid off by the One World Government. Because the alternative explanation that most modern art is awful just isn't plausible. 

There's the obligatory "free mason" references (sorry Knights Templar, you didn't rate a mention). Then we really grasp for straws by discussing a time capsule and Navajo phrases cut into the floor. How any of this silliness proves the existence of extensive underground structures remains somewhat obscure, but I guess this is why you were given an imagination. 

If that's not enough, what about this creepy blue horse statue. Honestly, it looks unusual! Explain that, Mr. Skeptic!

Secret underground Boise State fans, working to destroy the BCS...

Remember Phil Schneider, the guy who claims to know the New World Order's darkest secrets? We get some more tall tales out of him, including building numerous underground bases, participating in "alien human" battles and being monitored by invisible government agents. In other words he's so sane it's almost ridiculous. Then he turned up dead, with his "lecture materials" missing. I can imagine the mourning: "Hell yeah, NWO class is cancelled indefinitely, let's go drink Cherry Pucker and make lots of bad decisions! Woooo!!!!"

We get a quick summary and with nothing settled and the video ends. I was about to dismiss all this as paranoid ramblings from people with less than perfect mental health, but then I discovered an additional piece of evidence that blows this whole thing wide open! I'm going to post it below. Here it is friends, the horrible truth they tried to hide. I'll probably get murdered or at least audited for this, but it's worth it to present the real story.

Komment Korner  

I live in colorado and travel a lot. I have been to DIA many many times. None of those murals or paintings are in that airport...

Cocaine is helluva drug.

invisible government agents O.o We're screwed...  

I like dia just have sex with some girl I met on the plane ride from salt lake. What a big airport:)

i ate burger king in that airport... then i had to potty.

Aaron Zehner wants to believe. His first novel The Foolchild Invention is available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here. Makes a great gift and excellent reading material for those long flights before you hit the Denver airport and join the mile beneath club.

News You Can't Use: Mutilated Cows Found at Missouri Farm, Police Not Ruling Out the Possibility of Aliens

If there's one disappointing aspect of the last few years, other than the total collapse of western civilization, it's that extraterrestrial intelligences seem to be getting bored with us. A relationship that once burned down the bedroom with probing and hybrid creature breeding experiments has lost its spark. The Grays are all "it's not you, it's me" but I think we all know better. They're cheating with some Planet X hominids and we've been tractor-beamed to the curb.

Or maybe not! A story from the Show Me State gives hope that the minds that explained agriculture and pyramid construction to us may be back and very, very interested in cow genitals.

 Who would cut the tongues and take the reproductive organs from several cows?

This is the question I think we're all trying to answer in our own special way.

Robert Hills, Henry County Sheriff’s Chief Deputy, says the first cow was discovered in December of 2011, the second and third this summer. All were female cows and were owned by rancher Lyn Mitchell.

Three missing cows. This is what passes for a crisis in rural Missouri. If you were wondering why everyone wants to leave the city, consider this your answer. Also "female cows." As opposed to what? A male "cow" is called a bull, city slicker. "They ain got dat on yer fan-see gaw-gol? You some kind o' mo-ron?" etc.

“We couldn’t see any signs of trauma, and it doesn’t appear that there was any type of wild animal, such coyotes, that were involved,” Hills told KMOX.

Crazy old "science" probably has an explanation, but it's more fun to pretend that the decomposition/scavenger animal process is some impenetrable mystery.

Deputy Hills says decomposition of animals in the summer can cause a certain type of bloating.

Not to be confused with the certain type of bloating caused by typical American dietary habits.

“We’re having to look at this from two sides,” says Hills. “Some people believe that there are aliens that are involved in this or the possibility of the occult going to the other end of the spectrum, we’ve talked to other people that say that just when cows die that’s what happens to their bodies.”

"We've narrowed it down to saucer people or evil wizards as the most likely suspects." I guess the reverse vampires and colors out of space have been safely ruled out. As has the obvious, rational explanation, of course.

Traveled 10,000 light years. The objective: cow tongues.

The first cow discovered on Mitchell’s ranch had her tongue and ear removed. Mitchell told KSHB-TV she assumed the mutilation was part of a sacrificial ritual or just teenagers, so she didn’t report it.

"Prolly just dem kids doin' thar Say-tan-ic rit-u-alls. Don see no need to git da law." Seriously, I love her blase attitude toward black magic ceremonies. I mean, what could you even do, right? It's not like the police have a bunch of elder signs in the trunk of their car or something. 

Mitchell said the veterinarian told her the cuts to the cow were precise and surgical. Also what seems to be the common denominator of all these incidents is the lack of blood and other bodily fluids surrounding the area and inside the animal.

With the Scooby Doo gang retired and keeping bees somewhere this case may never be solved.

Mitchell told the Mutual UFO Network (MUFON) that the third cow’s heart was removed and exposed, but was not taken.

Creating an acronym organization does not provide instant credibility. Sorry.

Full Story, Plus Ads for worthless garbage everywhere.

Komment Korner  

 
Is there such a thing as a decent report or some semblance of decent journalism anymore? Constructing a sentence is elementary.

Looks like the work of some secret sinister man. Carlos Danger maybe

Aliens, doing jobs Americans won't do.

*sigh* It's what happens when a cow dies, and vultures get at it. They attack the exposed areas where skin is thinner, so they go for genitals, tongues, eyes, etc. The lack of blood is because the animal was already DEAD.

and your mama.

Aaron Zehner's first novel The Foolchild Invention is available in e-book format at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.