News You Can't Use: Future of TV Could be Pills that make People Hallucinate Television Shows

If there's one aspect of our garbage culture that has staying power and isn't going anywhere it's definitely the electronic toilet. After all, what could be more satisfying than passively sitting in front of the glow-box absorbing the Right-Think from the five four giant monopolies that control the flow of information and are sure to sanitize it for your protection? Yes, this pastime of the fool, the lazy and the lazy fool is not going anywhere. Even if we need to start giving you the blue pill so you can wake up in television land, fat and happy in the vast wasteland.

The future of TV might everyone taking hallucinogenic drugs, according to the head of Netflix.

He's on the roof of the school fighting invisible snakes and try to fly, must be watching "television" again. Well, time for me to watch "Celebrity Dancing." *takes several tabs of acid*

The threats to the streaming TV company might not be Amazon or other streaming services, but instead “pharmacological” ways of entertaining people, Reed Hastings has said.

I'm pretty sure we already have those, dudemar. It's called "getting wasted."

In the same way that the cinema and TV screen made “the opera and the novel” much smaller, something else might be on the way to do the same thing, the Netflix boss said at a Wall Street Journal event.

Yes, books are now in the same category of cultural irrelevance as singing crying clown stories. Read it and weep, "am writing" newbs.

Those challenges could come from anywhere, he said. They might not be another form of screen: “Is it VR, is it gaming, is it pharmacological?” Mr Hastings asked the event.

Is it stagnation, lazy writing, endless offensive commercials, bland story-lines, pandering, lack of imagination, cookie-cutter ideas, intelligence insulting or the general trend of "this show ain no good neither?" No, clearly we need a virtual reality world to properly display the staggering artistic vision of "Big Brother: Canada."

He went on to say that it might be possible that in the coming years someone will develop a drug that will make people get the same experiences that at the moment come from streaming services like Netflix.

Yeah, if only someone would develop this so-called "hallucinogen." PCP and chill, anyone?

Apparently making reference to The Matrix, he said that we might be able to take one pill to escape into a hallucination and then another to come back.

Not sure how you'd take the come back pill while doing what the scientific community refers to as "tripping balls" but these ideas are so compelling and well-conceived I'll give you a pass.

“In twenty or fifty years, taking a personalized blue pill you just hallucinate in an entertaining way and then a white pill brings you back to normality is perfectly viable,” Mr Hastings said.

Twenty, fifty, whatever "the future," you get the idea. We'll finally create a way to have entertaining delusions. Maybe next we'll invent something that might be called "buzz juice" that you drink to lower inhibitions and create a pleasurable numbness.

Mr Hastings didn’t indicate whether or not Netflix would look to make such drugs itself, or how it would fend off any companies that did. But it does sound a little like something out Black Mirror, which Netflix is showing the new season of at the moment.

See, TeeVee is actually educational. Keep watching, you drooling moron.

Full Article.
 

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here. 

News You Can't Use: Homeopathy Conference Ends in Chaos after Delegates take Hallucinogenic Drug

We've all been to some wild homeopathy conferences. Who could forget the one where someone drank pure tap water and overdosed? Or that big seminar on how if Chiropractors can somehow obtain marginal legitimacy than it should be possible to convince people that these crazy ideas have some merit. Don't forget the time when the reflexologists were staying in the same hotel and the result was a weekend of crazy pranks involving the memory of fluids and the bottom of the foot. And, of course, today's subject where our favorite pseudo-scientists decided to take a drug that actually works, with disastrous consequences.

An alternative medicine conference has ended in chaos in Germany after dozens of delegates took a LSD-like drug and started suffering from hallucinations.

If there were any lingering doubts that "alternative medicine" was just code-word for snake oil scams and trying to find legal ways to drop acid I think we can lay them to rest.

Broadcaster NDR described the 29 men and women “staggering around, rolling in a meadow, talking gibberish and suffering severe cramps”.

These are the symptoms of what the medical-industrial complex that we heroically battle with our various frauds and trick bags describes as "tripping balls." And yes, don't forget the cramps, it's important to mention that tummy trouble when we've got Teutonic quack con-artists eating their own fingers and babbling incoherently in the world's ugliest language.

The group of "Heilpraktikers" was discovered at the hotel where they held their conference in the town of Handeloh, south of Hamburg, on Friday. 

"Heilpraktiker" sounds like someone who plays Hitler make-believe or maybe joins a neo-nazi group as undercover law enforcement (i.e. every single member) but the truth, as always, is even more amazing.

More than 150 medical staff, ambulances and police descended on the scene and took the raving delegates to hospital.
 
The cruelest irony is that now conventional western medicine that actually works, the mortal enemy of the conference goers, is deployed to cure their freak-out instead of a glass of water seeded with half a drop of anti-crazy.

Tests on their blood and urine revealed they had all taken hallucinogenic drug 2C-E, which is known as Aquarust in Germany and has been illegal there since the end of last year.

"As I stand here, the Champion of the World, I want the kids to know they can achieve anything if they work hard and never stop believing in themselves. And kids, just say no to 2C-E.

No one recovered sufficiently to be interviewed by police until Monday, a spokesperson said.

Probably because traditional medicine is all about making money and not about THE PEOPLE, man.

“One has to assume that people were not told about the substance, its effects and risks before taking it.” 

Then again we're talking about a credulity conference, so who knows.

Police are reportedly looking into possibilities including the drug being taken as a joint experiment, or it being furtively given to conference participants as a prank.

Yup, the old "give dangerous hallucinogenic compound to eccentrics" prank, always a winner.

The Association of German Healing Practitioners (VDH), which represents homeopaths as well as other naturopaths, quickly distanced itself from the embarrassment.

Get ready for the "Ve ver juss followink ORDERS!" defense.

“The organisers of this obscure conference are unknown to us and such events will not be tolerated by our Association,” a spokesperson said.

Our goofy make-believe sessions are highly legitimate and fully certified by a panel of wizards and alchemists.

“Unfortunately, the conference in Handeloh has severely damaged the image of the alternative medicine profession…and we have clarified that such acts are not in the spirit of natural therapy, and contradict our values both morally and legally."

An unbelievably pristine reputation for competence and legality may have suffered a small ding.

Full Article.

Komment Korner

Wonder if you'd ever see real doctors popping a few chemotherapy tablets at a conference...

Man, that homeopathy kicks butt! 

I guess they took a very small dose to make it more potent

one doesn't 'suffer' hallucinations one ENJOYS them

Probably the same stuff Angela Merkel took last week.


Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.