News You Can't Use: Forget the Hackers, Watch Out for the Phone Snoopers Over Your Shoulder

We're all afraid of "hackers," the completely amoral Macedonian computer geniuses who use the invisible highway to steal your credit cards and decide Presidential elections, but it turns out there's an even bigger menace than the "trolls" and "content farmers" some decrepit crazy lady tried to warn us about. It turns out your secret, and no doubt unbelievably embarrassing in the most banal ways possible, personal information can be stolen by something called "working eyes" on criminals and scumbags that look at your little screen while you're also looking at it. The scourge of over-the-shoulder readers is back, friends, made extra pathetic by this miraculous age of high technology and staggering personal atomization.

Bill Fish was texting his wife on breaks during a talent show at their children’s Cincinnati school when a woman seated next to him asked, “Are you married to Nicole Fish?”

In the middle of the third intermission of the grammar school Vegas revue (don't worry, that young man who did the profane "rap music" won't be back) I decided to peck at the pocket Skinner Box, as is the way in this best of all worlds. Next thing you know, I'm being asked questions by a total stranger. Face-to-face interaction? How do I do this thing? Does she want money?

Assuming the woman was trying to be friendly, Mr. Fish said he was, introduced himself and said, “Nice to meet you,” he says.

Assuming friendly intentions is the prologue to just about every horrific tale of modern horror, so be sure to never do that. I thought it was a friendly conversation, we found the remains in a shallow grave a month later, that sort of thing. Avoid social interactions. Sink into your little phone. Shield the screen from peepers. This is healthy.

“Her next line to me was, ‘I saw that you’ve sent her two or three texts, so I just had to be sure you were actually her husband,’” says Mr. Fish, co-founder of Tuck, an online resource on sleep and related products.

I don't want to alarm you bro-ham, but I think she was looking for the Rude Awakening.

“This woman was not only looking over my shoulder, but basically accusing me of infidelity,” he says.

I can't correctly interpret basic social cues like "joking around." I mean, where are the yellow cartoon faces to tip me off in these so-called "conversations?" I can't do this. Thanks, texting!

Some of the rudest privacy violations don’t occur online. On buses and trains and in cafes and lecture halls, peeking at what others are doing on their mobile devices is a temptation few can resist.
 
"Go on, look at this stranger's text conversation, full of grammatical, spelling and logical errors," the devil whispers. It will only cost you your very soul, haw, haw, haw!

Robert Siciliano, chief executive of IDTheftSecurity.com, a Boston security-training firm, was emailing a client on his laptop during a Boston-to-Chicago flight a few years ago. That’s when a passenger behind him tapped him on the shoulder and declared that he knew the person he was emailing.

These modern urban legends suck ass.

Mr. Siciliano wondered if his fellow passenger was crazy.

Man, you crazy or something. Why you so crazy, you crazy man?

“I had the sense that I’d been violated,” he says. When he saw that the man seemed friendly and just wanted to talk, he laughed it off.

We live in a world that literally can't tell when you're just messing around. I think this is the real story here, not your imaginary security training or sleep related products business that you pretend to run on the phone so you can feel like a Big Shot.

A 2017 survey of 174 adults by researchers at the University of Munich in Germany found 97% had observed or been involved in at least one instance of screen-snooping.

I haven't been this scandalized since I found out what "stealthing" was. It has nothing to do with those futuristic 1992 jets, suffice it to say.

Unlike criminals trolling for passwords or other sensitive information, screen snoopers—also known as shoulder surfers or visual hackers— are usually just bored or curious and see mostly games, photos or innocuous texts, the German study found.

Save us from the visual hackers, Germany. Their weaponized boredom is causing the occasional "Nah, I'm just playing, dawg" interlocution.

Snooping punctures the invisible personal bubble that seems to surround smartphone and laptop users in crowded spaces.

My invisible bubble has been breached! Help!

That awkward moment when you must bug out from your bug out location.

Sarah Johnson was riding the New York subway home from work recently when she noticed a woman peering over her shoulder, reading the email she was writing on her phone. 

This is the digital equivalent of holding a book so everyone can see the title.

“Should I move the screen closer so you can have a better look?” Ms. Johnson asked, turning in her seat to look at the woman. Flustered, the fellow traveler denied snooping and backed away. Ms. Johnson, public-relations director for FitSmallBusiness.com, a digital magazine, says, “I try not to let people’s rude behavior bother me.”

Wow. Target destroyed.

She darkens her screen settings or scrolls away from sensitive information if she senses someone is watching.
 

I set it for black text on a black background. Problem solved.

Full Article. 

Komment Korner  

I don't think the security guy who uses his laptop on a plane should be in the security business.

The other day a watcher struck up a conversation on the bus.  She saw I was reading news sites and admired the accessibility.  I take responsibility for that

I drive my car to destinations.

And, yes, your detritus often has your DNA.

Flip phone ......the real smart phone.

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here. 

Civilization V Countdown: #8 Germany

Let continue the countdown of what is an objectively perfect ordering of video game tribes with a little iron to go with all that blood. Today's entry is, of all things, a story of redemption. What started as a one-note stereotype was fixed with only two official expansions and some patches. In the world of computer gaming this is a massive victory. Compare and contrast with "let's add more rebels!" for example.

Why is Germany #8?

Before Brave New World fixed them you'd be asking "Why is Germany #29?" Despite my highly vivid ancestral memories and an enjoyment of the color gray their initial incarnation fell well short of the glory suggested by vaguely recalled past incarnations. It even seemed somewhat lazy. We all know that the early war panzers were inferior to the Soviet and even the British armored units, right? A special pikeman is decent (and not missed at all when it went away) and the ability to snowball barbarian units combined for an overall lukewarm reaction, at best. Then they added the Hanseatic League via the Hansa bank special building and all was forgiven and then some. It's thematic, it's fun and it's breaks the usual boring "German people as militaristic robots" theme seen so many times. Whoever made that decision deserves a promotion or a medal or something.

Let's not forget Bismarck, who is the spitting image of a gym teacher I had in grade school. Couldn't it be Frederick the Great? One more patch, guys? Please? Fine, Mr. Angry Walrus it is.

Ve Germans are not all sunshine and chocolates.

Most Memorable Game as Germany?

That's an easy one: my first ever domination victory. This was in the original release, where this was all Germany was good for and I wanted that little achievement in the Steam library because why wouldn't I? I believe my thought process afterward was "Well, I'll never play as them again." If I only knew that a highly abstracted tribute to Renaissance North Sea trade would be later inserted, but a surprise is always better than a disappointment, isn't it? 

If I ever get a tattoo it would be this.

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.  

News You Can't Use: Homeopathy Conference Ends in Chaos after Delegates take Hallucinogenic Drug

We've all been to some wild homeopathy conferences. Who could forget the one where someone drank pure tap water and overdosed? Or that big seminar on how if Chiropractors can somehow obtain marginal legitimacy than it should be possible to convince people that these crazy ideas have some merit. Don't forget the time when the reflexologists were staying in the same hotel and the result was a weekend of crazy pranks involving the memory of fluids and the bottom of the foot. And, of course, today's subject where our favorite pseudo-scientists decided to take a drug that actually works, with disastrous consequences.

An alternative medicine conference has ended in chaos in Germany after dozens of delegates took a LSD-like drug and started suffering from hallucinations.

If there were any lingering doubts that "alternative medicine" was just code-word for snake oil scams and trying to find legal ways to drop acid I think we can lay them to rest.

Broadcaster NDR described the 29 men and women “staggering around, rolling in a meadow, talking gibberish and suffering severe cramps”.

These are the symptoms of what the medical-industrial complex that we heroically battle with our various frauds and trick bags describes as "tripping balls." And yes, don't forget the cramps, it's important to mention that tummy trouble when we've got Teutonic quack con-artists eating their own fingers and babbling incoherently in the world's ugliest language.

The group of "Heilpraktikers" was discovered at the hotel where they held their conference in the town of Handeloh, south of Hamburg, on Friday. 

"Heilpraktiker" sounds like someone who plays Hitler make-believe or maybe joins a neo-nazi group as undercover law enforcement (i.e. every single member) but the truth, as always, is even more amazing.

More than 150 medical staff, ambulances and police descended on the scene and took the raving delegates to hospital.
 
The cruelest irony is that now conventional western medicine that actually works, the mortal enemy of the conference goers, is deployed to cure their freak-out instead of a glass of water seeded with half a drop of anti-crazy.

Tests on their blood and urine revealed they had all taken hallucinogenic drug 2C-E, which is known as Aquarust in Germany and has been illegal there since the end of last year.

"As I stand here, the Champion of the World, I want the kids to know they can achieve anything if they work hard and never stop believing in themselves. And kids, just say no to 2C-E.

No one recovered sufficiently to be interviewed by police until Monday, a spokesperson said.

Probably because traditional medicine is all about making money and not about THE PEOPLE, man.

“One has to assume that people were not told about the substance, its effects and risks before taking it.” 

Then again we're talking about a credulity conference, so who knows.

Police are reportedly looking into possibilities including the drug being taken as a joint experiment, or it being furtively given to conference participants as a prank.

Yup, the old "give dangerous hallucinogenic compound to eccentrics" prank, always a winner.

The Association of German Healing Practitioners (VDH), which represents homeopaths as well as other naturopaths, quickly distanced itself from the embarrassment.

Get ready for the "Ve ver juss followink ORDERS!" defense.

“The organisers of this obscure conference are unknown to us and such events will not be tolerated by our Association,” a spokesperson said.

Our goofy make-believe sessions are highly legitimate and fully certified by a panel of wizards and alchemists.

“Unfortunately, the conference in Handeloh has severely damaged the image of the alternative medicine profession…and we have clarified that such acts are not in the spirit of natural therapy, and contradict our values both morally and legally."

An unbelievably pristine reputation for competence and legality may have suffered a small ding.

Full Article.

Komment Korner

Wonder if you'd ever see real doctors popping a few chemotherapy tablets at a conference...

Man, that homeopathy kicks butt! 

I guess they took a very small dose to make it more potent

one doesn't 'suffer' hallucinations one ENJOYS them

Probably the same stuff Angela Merkel took last week.


Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

News You Can't Use: Workers With Smart Phones at Health Risk

Every problem can be solved with the magical phone. Need to call someone? We can probably do that. Calming female voice to create the illusion of human contact while you huddle in your "Omega Man" bunker praying for the daylight that will drive off the mutants? No problem. Bird flight simulators? Aw, yeah. And hey, it gets even better! Now you can completely destroy the lines between work and your so-called own time by being constantly bothered by the next higher pay grade! Yes, comrade phone is our friend. Even if it does kill you.

German researchers studying the effects of people taking their work home with them at night or on weekends found that the workers were plagued by a host of issues, including cardiovascular problems, insomnia, headaches, muscular issues, fatigue, anxiety, and stomach problems, according to the Daily Mail.

Now for some of that efficient German research that has historically been a mighty force for good. As the dream of the 168 hour work week comes to fruition leave it to soft and lazy human assets to have tummy problems and general overall biological collapse.

The study, published in the journal Chronobiology International, examined 57,000 people, more than half of whom worked past normal hours, largely driven by access to smartphones and computer tablets.

Chronobiology International is probably best know for its above average fantasy international rugby coverage (All the hot picks on Team Fiji!) and that one issue every year where they're somehow allowed to show "artistic" nudity.

The researchers claim that the new advances in technology have prompted employers to expect their employees to be available at all hours, and asserted people’s bodies need purely recreational time to recover from work.

You crazy people and your soft and pathetic "needs." Once we fix that bug in our androids that causes them to turn violent and/or explode most of you whiners are out the door.

Remember when they were called "time saving devices?" I guess the new buzz phrase should be "life ruining devices."

Information and communication technologies, such as computers and smartphones... have the potential benefit and the potential inherent danger of making it possible for employees to be available any time and anywhere.

Much like a Panzer VI King Tiger it has both potential benefits and inherent danger.

Free time should be free time, otherwise it must be expected that it cannot fulfill functions of recovery and recuperation.

When the Germans are forced to champion our right to free time and recreation you know something is deeply wrong with the world.

The German study found that 90% of office workers have phones with email access, and one-third of those workers access their email over 20 times a day.

The "compulsive e-mail checking" disorder from the late 1990s is back and better than ever! We need to get this sucker into the DSM XXIX while it's still enjoying this comeback.

Last month, the German car maker Daimler installed software on its employees’ computers that deletes emails if the workers are on vacation; the company has 100,000 employees.

Now to have that software work all the time and you're set.

Daimler spokesman Oliver Wihofszki said: "The idea behind it is to give people break and let them rest. Then they can come back to work with a fresh spirit."

Where a giant wall and secret police failed, a day without a phone succeeded.

"Save me, German researchers!"

"It often needs to start at the top, with bosses taking the lead and attempting to change the culture at work. Not every country will implement regulations like France, so companies should look to make improvements of their own accord."

You could alert everyone to this New Culture initiative with repeated e-mails at 4 am on Christmas morning.

Full Story.

Komment Korner

I stare at two large lighted rectangles filled with information all day in my cube.

I always have to ask myself, "Is it worth it?"

It doesn't help that one boss is in EST and another in China time, so I have opposite time zones working against me.

Democrat propaganda can also make you sick.

They can be turned off! Find those buttons and use them, FCOL!


Check Out My Books!

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read free excerpts here and here.

His first novel "The Foolchild Invention" is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

News You Can't Use: Dim Lighting Sparks Creativity

Bright light is bad. It hurts the eyes, makes it hard to fall asleep, reveals the profound ugliness of so-called "reality" and makes it much harder to get on to the "are you done yet?" In addition to these issues, it may also be the enemy of creativity, according to the latest pseudo-science to come out of a nation that fully personified evil less than a century ago.

There are certain times when you want the lights turned way down low. One such time, according to recent research, is when you need to think creatively.

Arrgghhhh, light! Get it off me, get it off! It's wrecking my creative thinking!

“Darkness increases freedom from constraints, which in turn promotes creativity,” report  Anna Steidle of the University of Stuttgart and Lioba Werth of the University of Hohenheim.

Ja, now to turn off zee lights und deploy mein efficient creativity free of "constraints." We've seen German science freed of those already and it wasn't pretty.

A dimly lit environment, they explain in the Journal of Environmental Psychology, “elicits a feeling of freedom, self-determination, and reduced inhibition,” all of which encourage innovative thinking.

Sounds more like the effects of inhaling a few King Cobras. Could habitual alcoholism, with a heavy focus on the so-called "cheap shit" inspire the innovations of the next century? I'm willing to study this for a very reasonable six figure fee.

After spending two minutes attempting to solve each problem, participants rated how free from constraints they felt. They noted the degree to which they felt externally controlled, and reported their level of self-assurance.

Unless you're, like, hooked to wires or something you're not being "externally controlled."

The results: Those in the dimly lit room solved significantly more problems correctly than those in the brightly lit room. They also felt freer and less inhibited than their intensely illuminated counterparts. Participants in the bright and the conventionally lit rooms did not differ significantly from one another on either scale.

From now on "dim" will describe the intelligent. I like the idea of "intensely illuminated" when there's an ordinary light bulb. "I'm baking like a Turkey here, turn it off, it's externally controlling me!"

May not contribute significantly to "self-assurance."

“These results indicate that dim illumination heightens perceived freedom from constraints, which in turn improves creative performance,” the researchers conclude. 

Support the Dark Party and our efforts to bring perceived freedom!

Don’t have a dimmer switch at your desk? No worries. Other experiments found that merely priming the idea of darkness—such as by taking five minutes to describe an experience of literally being in the dark, and recalling how it felt—was sufficient to boost creativity. 

Try to visualize, if you can, darkness. Remember how good it felt? Now...create! 

However, the darkness-spurs-innovation equation did not always hold true. In another experiment, the researchers found “the darkness-related increase in creativity disappeared when using a more informal, indirect light instead of direct light.”

Basically the problem was they were dangling a bulb over some poor German student like in one of those police interrogation rooms, while probably barking things like "achtung!" and "schnell, schnell!" I can see how that might prove an issue. 

"Sit there and start being creative. Now!" 

“Creativity may begin in the dark,” Steidle and Werth write, “but it shouldn’t end there.”

Actually in most cases it probably should.

These results would seem to contradict those of an earlier study, which found creativity is boosted by the presence in the room of a bare light bulb. However, a closer reading finds they are compatible: It was the symbolic power of the bulb (which has gone off over many a cartoon character’s head to signify a mental breakthrough) that boosted creativity, not the level of illumination in the room.

Basically if you're willing to do enough bizarre contortions and tell enough "just so" stories you can reach any crazy conclusion you want. 

So if you’re struggling to finish that screenplay or come up with the next must-have app, you might try illuminating your workspace with one bare bulb of minimal wattage. If you don’t want to be thought of as a dimbulb, perhaps the answer is a dim bulb.

Can bright light be blamed for this horrible abomination?

Update: OK, that last suggestion wasn’t as clever as I thought it was. (What can I say? I was writing in a very bright room.)

Yes.

[Science 17/70] Maybe dimming the lights would make me more creative.

Full Article. 

Komment Korner   

Generalization: Distractions inhibit creativity. Who'd a guessed it?

PS the glow from a TV is not NOT "light" it's evil!

Dim Lighting Sparks Creativity. ONLY WHEN SHE IS IN THE MOOD!

Typical liberal train of thought. "By remaining in the dark you shall be enlightened"! Just keep dreaming.

Aaron Zehner's first novel The Foolchild Invention is available in e-book format at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.