News You Can't Use: Judge Nixes Nutter Administration Attempt To Tax Lap Dances at Strip Clubs

Sleazy thrills are the bread and vegetables of the psyche and as such, logically, should be as equally resistant to taxation as their physical counterparts. The right to "back rooms," "You'll get more grinding for an extra $10" and quasi-prostitution in general has recently come under fire from over-reaching Big Government, kicking off yet another quiet battle for the nation's soul.

It's going down in Philadelphia, until now mostly known for its freeway killers and the time when a rapper was spun like a human propeller, necessitating a fear-based parental decision to move him to an elite West Coast neighborhood. Now it will also be remembered as the place where "Mayor Nutter," who quite frankly sounds like a character in an XXX-rated City Council-themed VHS from the nineties, waged a losing battle against our freedom to exchange cash for crotch friction without having to pay a "Stamp Act" type punitive tax.

The Nutter administration has lost in its legal battle to tax lap dances performed in the back rooms of strip clubs.

Time to sign that unconditional surrender in the back room of the battleship Missouri. 

Lawyers for the city had gone before Common Pleas judge Ellen Ceisler, arguing that the city’s Tax Review Board last year was wrong when it said the city’s amusement tax was too vague to be applied to lap dances.

You've got to love the idea of an "amusement tax." "Hey, you with that smile on your face! Either stop being happy or pay the government!"

“If the city wants to tax lap dances, they can go to City Council, ask City Council to amend the ordinance, and they can start imposing a tax on lap dances. Or anything else they want: karaoke songs, piano playing.  Anything they want.  But you have to put it in the ordinance. You just can’t make it up as you go along.”

You can do anything you want, but first you have to get it past a body of faceless suits in a hearing no one knows or cares about. That's the correct procedure. Just make sure your speech is short.

Club Risqué and Cheerleaders, represented by Bochetto, faced tax bills totaling nearly $900,000. A third club, Delilah’s, was assessed more than $630,000 in back taxes, interest, and penalties for lap dances.

Fortunately the Sin Industry is the only growth industry left in America other than credit card debt and stripping copper wires, so it probably could have taken this tyrannical hit.

“I think the courts have essentially borne out our conclusions all along, that the city never really had a good case. The case never really should have even gone this far.”

"Let's celebrate by sitting back from the main stage, slowly nursing a beer and ignoring the repeated requests for "private dances."

Bochetto believes any further effort by the administration to tax lap dances would not sit well in any court.

Which is ironic considering how difficult it is to sit well after one of those "dances."

Please take any keys out of your pockets, keep you arms at your sides and fill out tax form 15158-EZ.

“I think the swiftness of Judge Ceisler’s ruling sends a message to the city that it’s time to give it up,” he said today. “It’s time to call it a day.”

You have suffered a total and complete rout at the hands of the legal representatives of "Cheerleaders." Game Over.

Full Story.

Komment Korner  

What the fffffk? Obumfk has put in place taxes on suntan parlors and a couple other things noteworthy.

Ummm, while true, the implication that conservatives are the patrons of strip clubs is simply inaccurate.

I'd makem say uhhhh.

Getting your news from ABC, NBC,CBS,CNN, MSNBC or NPR is like watching Hogan's Hero's to learn about the Holocaust.

Jessica alba has the #1 pooper, man its FANTASTIC

Check Out My Books!

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read free excerpts here and here.

His first novel "The Foolchild Invention" is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

News You Can't Use: Pols Promise a Solution Against ‘Elmo Bullies’

New York City ain't no joke, man. If the air and water don't kill you the druggers, violence mobs and humanoid underground dwellers will. Even the most effeminate of children's characters are weaponized into aggressive panhandlers and con artists. Tickle me Elmo? Try, "Intimidate you with physical violence into making a 'donation' to the heroin fund Elmo." Since even the Death Wish vigilante isn't going to shoot junkies dressed up as Big Bird or whatever, it's up to "Pols" to spring into action and attempt to legislate away urban rot that's so virulent it even infected wussy kid stuff.

Though complaints about Times Square can fill an entire encyclopedia, at the latest Times Square Alliance’s Midtown conditions meeting, one issue took center stage: how to deal with Elmo, Hello Kitty and Spiderman, among other costumed characters.

I once visited the "Complaints on Time Square" Wikipedia page and it gave my computer about a hundred viruses, broke both my arms and stole the radio from my car. I don't recommend it.

When they came for the break dancers I didn't say anything because I wasn't a break dancer. When they came for the untreated mentally ill drug abusers dressed up like cutesy Japanese nonsense I didn't say anything...etc.

Costumed characters that panhandle or offer pictures in exchange for money have proliferated in Times Square, as noted by the Wall Street Journal, adding to the usual commercial chaos of the famed town square.

"It's making it hard for me to sell pencils, crude window washing and miniature American flags to raise funds to buy tiny white rocks."

And while they may seem cuddly, elected officials said the characters are a serious problem.

Let's explode the myth of the "lovable meth addict," once and for all time.

This is a cancer on Times Square that has to be excised soon.

"You're a disease, Hello Kitty, and I'm the cure." *repeatedly fires combat shotgun*

“The panhandlers are exploiting the First Amendment, but I don’t think you have a First Amendment right to harass and threaten people as some of these characters have done.”

Can we just add an amendment to the Bill of Rights that very clearly states "None of these rights apply if you're wearing a muppet-themed costume." Yup, we're gonna start quartering soldiers in the house of the guy that dresses up as "Scooter."

The alliance’s director, Tim Tompkins, said they’re not all bad — but their presence, and the number of complaints, has grown in the last two years.

There's at least two or three who don't shoot up or menace people, so we're kind of in a tight spot.

“The problem is not with the folks that are out there making kids happy in an appropriate way, the problem is the folks that are both subtly and not so subtly intimidating and harassing people,” Mr. Tompkins said.

This is NYC pal, there aren't any "folks" here. Try dope-heads, mole people and walking, anthropomorphic evil. Whoever it was that taught politicians "people will trust you more if you use circa 1930 Alabama syntax" deserves the worst.

The companies that own the characters being depicted are also interested in addressing this issue, Mr. Tompkins added, and having a way to get troublemakers out of their character’s costumes. He called on the City Council to regulate them.

"I sold you a costume depicting our intellectual property and then sued you for wearing it!" Logic.

City Councils. We regulate any harassing of "folks" by depictions of animated characters. We're damn good too. But you can't be any geek off the streets. Gotta be handy with the illogical application of capitalism and our legal system, earn your keep.

“If you have a licensing scheme, then you have the ability to leave the people alone who are doing the right thing, but also go after the people that are not doing the right thing” he added.

We used to call this force "God." It's now more correctly identified as a "licensing scheme." It will make people do right and not do not right. Somehow.

Manhattan Borough President Gale Brewer told reporters she was open to examining a slew of possible solutions.

"We got a whole heapin' helpin' of in-ter-esting solutions for the folks on God's Green Earth, not to mention our costumed brothers and sisters."

Put him in jail!

“Legally, what do we want to do?  We want to regulate them? We want them to be licensed? How do we not infringe on the First Amendment?” she asked.

Obviously more red tape and bureaucracy is the answer, but how to do it?

“They accost people. I’ve seen it with my own eyes — they ask to take a picture, they ask for money, they chase people to the ATM sometimes for money. They are very aggressive and it doesn’t show a good picture of New York,” Ms. Brewer said.

If we're going to win that bid to have the entire city transformed into a prison colony we're going to have to improve that image a little.

“We’ve talked with our legal department about how we craft this legislation to allow you to express yourself, because I support freedom of speech and your right to freely act, speak and engage, but the minute you violate somebody else’s space then you have to be held accountable,” he said.

Or you could just actually enforce existing laws, whatever.

Mr. King seemed confident about the future of the bill. “I do expect huge support of the council members, I do,” he said.

Moments later he was torn to pieces and devoured by C.H.U.Ds.

Full Article.

Komment Korner   

I'm not saying it's good or it's right, but it is caused by liberal and democrat policy.

The only cancer in new York are the Communists who run it.

You mean like how NYC has a real handle on licensing Taxis. AHHAHAH Character medallions?

Just like the stings to bust criminals that rob drunks on the trains.

Check Out My Books!

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read free excerpts here and here.

His first novel "The Foolchild Invention" is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

News You Can't Use: Riverside Woman Sues Over Her Arrest For Clapping

I often, and I do mean often, wonder how clapping got to be a socially acceptable way of demonstrating approval or admiration. Someone, somewhere, had to decide that hitting the flesh ends together needed to be a societal norm. Everyone else thought it was a good idea, for some reason. It's times like this I wish I was an evolutionary biologist so I could gin up some "just so" explanation about mating pressures and pack cohesion, but since I lack the scrap of paper and willingness to dissemble there's nothing for it. We imitate seals and no one questions it. Except for a city council meeting in Riverside.

If there's one thing I've learned doing these stories it's that formal city meetings don't take no jive.

A woman who was arrested after she repeatedly clapped at a Riverside City Council meeting has filed a federal lawsuit.

I was just trying to get a chant going: "I love zoning!" clap, clap clap. [repeat]

The Riverside Press-Enterprise reports that Letitia Pepper argues her constitutional rights were violated.

Life, liberty and the sacred, god-ordained right to slap your own skins to create annoying noise that resembles a teen boy during a "computer session."

Pepper, a longtime critic of Riverside government, was taken away in handcuffs last June. Authorities say she disrupted the meeting by repeatedly applauding speakers even after being warned by the mayor.

In Soviet America critic applauds for you!

However, she was never criminally charged.

The reward for this sanity was a huge nuisance lawsuit. Now I kinda see the logic in locking up these people.

In a statement, Bailey says the city tries to respect free speech rights at council meeting. He also says meeting rules aim to ensure that city business can be carried out without unnecessary disruptions.

That's a valid point and everything but consider this counter-argument...I want to hit my palms together!

I'm a political critic! This is protected by the first amendment!

Don't visit the ad-riddled source: http://sacramento.cbslocal.com/2014/05/23/riverside-woman-sues-over-her-arrest-for-clapping/   

Honestly, a page full of b.s. ads that won't stop reloading...this is not change I can believe in.

Komment Korner  

More likely she is an acccccctivisssst, like our president.

Any pinko taking a dump on a police car can pretend to be a Tea Party member.

Mayor "Beetle" Bailey is not receptive to opinions unlike his.

Not knowing all the facts makes this a tough call.

This is what the Dimocrats want the whole country to be like.

Check Out My Books!

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read a free excerpt here.

His first novel The Foolchild Invention is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

New You Can't Use: Traffic Cameras Bring Ohio Town to Screeching Halt

Wouldn't it be great if we were constantly under government surveillance? Obviously our Inner Party feels this way and since they're reading this, so do I. I love IngSoc! Death to EastAsia, our eternal enemies! I'm certainly not keeping a diary or trying to remember the past. Don't audit me, bro!

In addition to eliminating wrong-think cameras can also make our roads safer by giving tickets to offenders well after the fact. And sometimes not offenders too, I suppose. It's a small price to pay for SAFER ROADS, right? You're not some kind of monster that wants more traffic fatalities, are you? Of course you aren't. Here's your ticket for a light our camera says you ran back in January.

Those traffic cameras drivers hate and municipal bean counters love have brought a small village in Ohio to a grinding halt.

Bean counters, El Oh El. Looks like someone forgot it's really about our safety, just like everything that happens. Those cameras? Your safety. Body cavity search? Your safety. Arrested for unpopular opinions? Safety.

Elmwood Place (pop. 2,188) has seen four of its six Village Council members resign amid public outrage over a flurry of fines issued by the cameras.

I like how the wording makes it sound like no human agency is involved in this at all. The cameras have become self-aware!

“The public is bewildered with what is going on,” Village Councilman Jerald Robertson told FoxNews.com.  “There is a sense that they have no idea what we are doing.

"Some days I try to remember what things were like a decade ago, even though we're told not to do that. I don't think it was like this, but I can't be sure. Oh well, back to the television."

“I have no idea what is going on with the council,” he added.

Cities and towns around the nation, working with private companies, have installed the cameras to catch drivers speeding or running red lights. They then split the fine proceeds, generating big profits for companies such as American Traffic Solutions and Redflex Traffic Systems, and much-needed revenue for municipalities.

When the evils of capitalism and socialism unite, look out.

Attorney Mike Allen is fighting back at Elmwood Place, filing for class-action status for a suit against the town on behalf of everyone who paid a fine meted out by an eye in the sky.

He's suing GOD??? Oh, right. It's supposed to mean the cameras.

“We feel what the village did was unconstitutional.”

Whoa, comrade brother. Constitution? That sounds like terrorist talk.

Health problems were cited as the reasons for the resignations for two of the members, but Robertson believes the public outrage played a role in all of their decisions.

The self-aware computer now controlling the city had no comment, other than a blinking, menacing red light.

Full Article.

Komment Korner

It's never anyone's fault but the "out of control" government's. Right? Never mind the people who speed. Or gun it to avoid waiting 30 seconds at a red light. Or someone who thinks it's his/her right to park whenever, wherever they want because they're just going "inside for a minute." It's always someone else who is at fault. 

How do we know these cameras don't snap random pictures along with real violators to pad the coffers? And don't tell me it couldn't happen with our open and transparent governments.

I work in a city that has red light cameras and will slowly and carefully proceed to the city limits before purchasing anything. I urge everyone else to do the same if they find themselves in such a place.
 
Just another example of big brother and how they manage to fowl up this country

Obey Big Brother..nuf said. bye


Aaron Zehner's first novel The Foolchild Invention is available in e-book format at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.