News You Can't Use: Boston Dynamics is Teaching its Robot Dog to Fight Back Against Humans

I love sharing stories about New York and how we don't play up in here, sucker, but I've been somewhat remiss in not lavishing attention on Boston and all the wild stuff going on there. Things like robot dogs that are being programmed to turn on their human makers, because that's a nice logical thing you'd do in between drinking bee-ahs and cheering for numbah fo-ah out on the ice. Thanks to the efforts of masshole futurists you're going to want to make sure that your electronic best friend comes from somewhere else.

It appears that, just like their flesh and blood counterparts, you just can’t put a good robot dog down, even if you’re a human fighting it for control of a door.

Who's a good robot dog? You are, boy! What with how you battle against me for door rights, zapping out lasers and sonic cones and maybe even pushing gently with your metallic snout.

Boston Dynamics’ well-mannered four-legged machine SpotMini has already proved that it can easily open a door and walk through unchallenged, but now the former Google turned SoftBank robotics firm is teaching its robo-canines to fight back.

You have to wonder why anyone thought this was a good idea.

A newly released video shows SpotMini approaching the door as before, but this time it’s joined by a pesky human with an ice hockey stick.

Numbah fo-ah on the fohcheck! Time to stick lift a steel retriever. Can't you see this is an interference penalty? We should be on the powah-play. This is gahbage.

Unperturbed by his distractions, SpotMini continues to grab the handle and turn it even after its creepy fifth arm with a claw on the front is pushed away.

Time to go back to my place and show you my creepy fifth limb.

In a last-ditch effort to stop the robot dog breaching the threshold, the human grabs at a leash attached to the back of the SpotMini and yanks.

My one weakness! How could you have known, flesh-sack?

The robot valiantly trudges forward attempting to shake off this cowardly move, losing its tail in the process and looking ever more like a dog fighting its owner. 

That amazing plot twist where humans were the real villains in the Robot Wars. Stop sending terminators into the past and pulling off my tail while blocking a door and fight fair you cowards!

Boston Dynamics describes the video as “a test of SpotMini’s ability to adjust to disturbances as it opens and walks through a door” because “the ability to tolerate and respond to disturbances like these improves successful operation of the robot”.

Finally an answer to "What if I crack dis crazy critter with muh hockey stick?"

The firm helpfully notes that, despite a back piece flying off, “this testing does not irritate or harm the robot”.

No machines were harmed in the making of this video.

Imagine the goalie is a dog and the net is a door and this is basically what happened.

But teaching robots to fight back against humans may might end up harming us. 

What part of "What could possibly go wrong?" didn't you understand?

Full Article.

Komment Korner   

While the world is in hysterics over religion, science continues to create a bleak and horrifying future in the background.

Robot lives matter! 

we already know the robot response: "KILL ALL HUMANS"

Count me as one citizen and member of the human race who sees the work you do as the result of a fundamental choice you have made to subordinate human power to machine power; and worse, to place that power in the hands of large organizations serving private interests.

they better some spayed and neutered or its gonna be big trouble

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.