Showing posts with label Los Angeles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Los Angeles. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

News You Can't Use: Woman Cuts Family Off From WiFi Over Health Concerns

Is the unnecessary technological nonsense we can't live without causing health problems or even premature death (this has never happened before)? The answer, of course, is yes, but on the other hand there's little glowing mobile skinner boxes that provide just the perfect reinforcement schedule for any right-thinking modern super ape. Faced with giving that up to survive I think the living would envy the dead. Still, there's some crank somewhere who has dumped the WiFi and somehow made headlines in the process. Oh well, it's not like there's anything else going on in America or the World right now, so I guess this bit of whimsy involving the mother who feared the invisible wires is acceptable.

A local mother’s health concerns prompted her to cut her family off from wireless and wants more research conducted into the safety of WiFi.

In other news a local bar patron made some excellent points about poverty and the military industrial complex, before falling asleep in his own vomit.

In the Lawson household, cassette tapes are still in use, as are landline telephones.

It's like taking a fear-fueled Luddite time machine back to the late eighties! Freaky stuff, man.

Not in use, however, are cellphones, iPads, iPods nor absolutely no wireless connections to the outside world.

This level of detachment is roughly equivalent to living in a cave on the dark side of the moon. Honestly, a landline telephone. Come on, help me make a big deal out of this non-story.

“You’re just thinking, ‘I want to live,’ ” said Anura Lawson, a mother and teacher.

"Put down that iPad if you want to live." Now climb on my motorcycle while I produce a pump-action shotgun from my cool leather jacket.

If only we stuck with cassettes, the machines would have never conquered Earth. Must go back in time and kill the compact disc inventor, even though that really has nothing to do with wireless technology.

Lawson says she started feeling sick in 2012 soon after the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power installed a wireless smart meter on her home.

I bought an iPod and felt a little sick later that week. After touching a CD case I ran into my ex-wife. Clearly these misfortunes were directly caused by the technology.

There are 52,000 of these smart meters being tested in L.A., and the DWP says they’re safe.

If you can't trust a faceless and evil government agency, who can you trust?

Lawson’s daughter, Amira, 22, also experienced trouble. “My brain was running slower, and I was like, ‘I don’t know what’s going on,’ ” she said.

Could this be the modern version of "Power lines gave me cancer, where's my lawyer?" Let's all hope so.

“There is a syndrome called electromagnetic hypersensitivity,” said Robert Nagourney, an oncologist in Long Beach and professor at UC Irvine.

"Actually, no there isn't. Now for the last time, I want you out."

But with our 21st century explosion of wireless, Nagourney says “we’re bathed in this type of radiation.”

Nice healthy glow, total mental and physical breakdown, this is an age of miracles.

Once they got their analogue meter back, Lawson said they felt better healthwise. But a 1 ½ years later, Lawson says her symptoms returned.

Let's try to ignore the obvious logic trap.

Now, she is believed to be the first public school teacher in the U.S. granted a health accommodation for electromagnetic hypersensitivity.

Knowing that union, I somehow doubt she's the first.

Over the past three years, Lawson says, she has encountered plenty of doubters, which Nagourney says is too bad.

It is a shame we don't accept these crazy rantings at face value.

"You're not dealing with AT&Tumor..."

“People are of different sensitivities. We know that one person can get a bee sting and nothing happens. Another person goes into anaphylactic shock. It’s the same bee sting. Different reaction,” he said.

You've got to use your imagination a little, here.

“Teaching doesn’t have to involve a device,” she said. “I think that our students unfortunately are the Guinea pigs, and I don’t think that’s right.”

"All right, the wireless net is up. If all the kids die, we'll think about taking it down."

Lawson has started an online petition to get WiFi out of California classrooms.

She is fully aware of the inherent irony of this. 


Komment Korner  

Oh my! Hope she uses latex gloves to handle those cassette tapes that have plastic softeners in them. And a mask for the vapors.

Paranoia and hypochondria are terrible illnesses.

"My brain was moving slower!" That's HILARIOUS!

In double blind tests, people claiming to experience "electromagnetic hypersensitivity" have been proven to be wrong.

Too many cell phone zombies walk out in from of the buses without looking. Then they yell at the bus driver.


Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

News You Can't Use: Water Is Black and Stinks In Southern California Community

Since milk is poison, soda recipes are mostly inspired by failed chemical weapons projects, alcohol is of the devil and fruit juice contains sugar that could make you nervous it stands to reason that lots of water will be the healthy answer to all your "What fluid should I pour into my face hole?" issues. That is, unless it has the color and consistency of tar and smells like an open sewer. Then, maybe take your chances with milk and learn to wash yourself with liquified deodorant sticks.

For months now families are complaining about black and smelly water pouring from their faucets, toilets, and showers in a Southern California community just south of Los Angeles.

If there's water pouring from your toilet the fact that it resembles what goes into the bio-hazard bag after an embalming might not be your only problem. This has been going on for months with no solution in sight, a true testament to the amazing power of complaining.

“We don’t want to drink our water, because our water is black,” said Emy Sebastian, a citizen of Gardena California. “My daughter says, ‘Mommy the water is black and it stinks. Why does the water stink?’ She doesn’t want to wash her clothes.”

I tell her it's probably because of something she did.

The phenomenon has been going on too long for residents and they don’t feel that enough is being done to correct the situation.

It's a phenomenon! Get caught up in it! Wooo! Also, when what is being done could be accurately described as "nothing," it's a safe bet it's not enough to solve this mess.

Diane Morita, disgusted by the smell, told NBC4 Southern California, that the water “has an odor of rotten eggs or sewer smell. I’m concerned because it’s getting worse, if it’s even safe.”

"If it keeps burning my mouth and causing hours of stomach pains I'm probably going to drop down from eight glasses a day, physician's recommendations be damned."

Morita explained that she has been told by Golden State Water Company, the utility that services Gardena, that the water is safe to drink.

Naw, it's fine. Let me hang up on your now. All I do is have this conversation, all day every day. People are such whiners.

The utility has told NBC4 that that they are investigating the situation and insist that the black water is an isolated occurrence.

Well, I'm mollified by this obvious ass-covering.

Now in chunky style with radical midnight colors!

Kate Nutting, general manager for Golden State said that “the water is clear right now we will continue to investigate to determine what caused it last Wednesday, what has caused it in the past so that we can prevent it from happening again.”

She then spent the next six hours playing "Free Cell," broken up only by spinning around in her office chair.

One person said that a Golden State official told her he would credit her account $10 for the expense. She says it’s not enough.

When the government actually should pay people, it suddenly pleads poverty. Oh well, I'm off to get my free phone for myself and my ten imaginary family members.

Full Story.

Komment Korner

Ah yes .... the virtues of dysentery.

I don't remember Jesus ever saying He was the last prophet.

Knock off the Islamophobia.

So now they can drink chlorine? I know you can put it in a pool but drink it?

It's looking like a real breakdown in governing in California.


Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

News You Can't Use: It Looks Like Raging Hockey Fans Destroyed An LAPD Drone Last Night

Ice Gangs represent the last, best hope of the individual against an increasingly totalitarian system. Like a version of "Rollerball" that isn't pretentious and terrible, these "Raging Fans" are now locked in a battle for our national soul against the robotic shadow forces of Big Brother. Well, that or their team won and they started wrecking things because that's how joy is properly communicated, I'm not totally sure which is correct.

Multiple videos have been posted online showing what uploaders described as hockey fans destroying a Los Angeles Police Department drone outside the Staples Center Friday night after the LA Kings won the NHL's Stanley Cup.

It was later revealed that the videos were actually of a deleted scene from the movie "Space Jam."

Riot police were called in to break up what the LA Times described as a "melee" outside the arena following the King's victory over the New York Rangers.

When I feel good I wreck stuff. This is logical.

In one clip posted online, a drone can be seen hovering over the crowd of hockey fans before it was knocked out of the sky by people throwing shoes and clothing

No word if the anti-drone hoodie was used, but I would imagine so.

In another clip, the drone is not visible, but the hockey fans can be heard chanting, "We got the drone! We got the drone!"

If the end of civilization involves silly chants and hockey matches sign me up.

As of this writing, the LAPD has not responded to multiple requests for comment from Business Insider asking whether they lost a drone outside the Staples Center Friday night.

We were told that "you didn't see nothing" and then were made into unpersons.

Of course, with no official response, it is impossible to confirm whether the drone in the video did indeed belong to the police.

But wild speculation is fun, so let's do that.

This machine kills fascists.

Late last month, the LAPD announced it was given two "unmanned aerial vehicles" by the Seattle Police Department.

First all that whiny, awful music and now this. Thanks a lot, you guys.

When they announced the gift from Seattle, the department said it wouldn't engage in widespread surveillance

"We promise not to get drunk with power. Honest."

On June 5, in response to criticism over the department's potential drone usage, LAPD Chief Charlie Beck said he would seek input from privacy advocates and civil rights groups before deploying the unmanned aerial vehicles.

Because we need special groups and focus meetings to tell this guy "No, don't do that."

"We're going to thoroughly vet the public's opinion on the use of the aerial surveillance platforms," Beck said.

"We now know how hockey fans feel, at least."

Several tipsters have emailed Business Insider suggesting the device in the video is one of the models in the DJI "Phantom" series. These are intended for consumer use.

Sorry that this new revelation basically wrecks the story. 


Komment Korner  

I think shooting it out of the sky is a good thing. This is but another case of police bringing danger to wherever they go.

Where you come from must be the land of retards

Let me get this straight - we downed and destroyed a hi-tech police drone with a shoe? Seriously?

I can't wait for the drone dog fights to begin.

Chief Beck should bend over and grab his ankles while someone pilots one of these liberty-killing-machines right where the sun don't shine.


Check Out My Books!

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read a free excerpt here.

His first novel The Foolchild Invention is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.