News You Can't Use: A Third Of Millennials Aren’t Sure The Earth Is Round, Survey Finds

According to every high fructose corn syrup beverage commercial I've ever seen, the new, young generation is the best thing ever. They snort condoms, they eat Tide Pods, they're much wiser than the bad old people that ruined the world and they should be allowed to vote. It does take a special kind of delusion to believe that, but on the other hand they're rejecting the idea of Ball Earth, so maybe you should cool it with the cynicism. Yes, fully one third of Generation Nothing is denying something that was "settled science" three thousand years ago.

A new survey has found that a third of young millennials in the U.S. aren’t convinced the Earth is actually round. The national poll reveals that 18 to 24-year-olds are the largest group in the country who refuse to accept the scientific facts of the world’s shape.

If you have any optimism about the future, let me cure it for you.

YouGov, a British market research firm, polled 8,215 adults in the United States to find out if they ever believed in the “flat Earth” movement.

I don't want to alarm you, but a British content farm of trolls may have "hacked" our obscurantism movement.

Only 66 percent of young millennials answered that they “always believe the world is round.” Science teachers across the U.S. will be shaking their heads after learning that nine percent of young adults answered that they have “always believed” the planet was flat.

Shaking muh dawg-gone head: the generation.

Another nine percent said of young adults said they thought the planet was spherical but had doubts about it. In a disturbing display of indecision, 16 percent of millennials said they weren’t sure what the shape of the planet was.

I don't believe in anything and as such am immune to all criticism. You've probably never encountered this before and just got your little mind blown. What now, man? Now let me tell you how I don't support any political ideology. Far out.

Overall, only two percent of the respondents said they always thought the Earth was flat without any doubt. 

Get rid of those Columbus songs in our schools, they said. There won't be massive societal repercussions, they assured us.

Let's push staggering scientific illiteracy off the counter.

Income seemed to play a role in people’s beliefs as well. Ninety-two percent of adults making over $80,000 believed the Earth is round, compared to only 79 percent of adults making under $40,000. 

The "you're poor because you're dumb" theory gets more ammunition.

Full Article.

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.