News You Can't Use: One Billion Young at Risk of Hearing Loss from Loud Music

You'll have to speak up and mostly communicate via gestures, because I'm a metalhead. Loud music, we are now told, might actually have some sort of physical consequence. No less an authority than the World Health Organization has decided its time is best used on this front, rather than fighting all those incurable diseases that keep cropping up or whatever. No, it's time to guard the ears of our young. Their message is now the same as the one you're getting from your parents when they come home to blasting cock-rock: "Turn that shit off!"

More than one billion young people risk damaging their hearing through listening to loud music, the World Health Organization (WHO) said on Friday.

Gigadeaf: The hypothetical loss of hearing in a billion people as a result of a hard music apocalypse.

The WHO estimates that around half of those between the ages of 12 and 35 in middle- and high-income countries are at risk due to unsafe levels of sound on personal audio devices or smartphones.

35 is now considered "young." I feel a lot better. "Turn down that Andrews Sisters record you crazy male-pattern baldness and chronic back pain having punk kid! You'll lose your hearing!"

Also, if your nation is dead broke you're apparently in the clear when it comes to this one particular disaster. I've got some great news for you, South Sudan!

Another 40 percent are at risk from damaging audio levels at concert venues and night clubs.

We're not even getting into the health risks of being busted for dress code at the club or using the public restroom at the concert venue.

"More and more young people are exposed to unsafe levels of sounds. Young people should be aware that once you lose your hearing, it won't come back," said Shelley Chadha, a WHO specialist on hearing impairment.

"What you do in your middle thirties will harm your hearing when you're ninety!"

The vuvuzela, a popular wind instrument used in stadiums during the football World Cup in South Africa in 2010, has a sound intensity of 120 decibels and over nine seconds of exposure could result in irreversible hearing damage.

Remember that? Soccer's gonna get popular here in the U.S.A. any day now, I'm telling you. Hey, come back here!

"It is something we can live without," Chadha said referring to the vuvuzela.

Suggested alternatives include foam cheese-wedges, signs with Bible verses and cow bells.

The use of ear plugs in loud conditions and regular check ups were part of the recommendations as well.

You should do that "raise your hand if you hear a sound" b.s. once every three months, minimum.

WHO: You may listen to it on minimum volume for ten seconds, once a year.

The WHO also wants governments to play a role by imposing strict regulations on noise in public places.

Attention potential dictators: here's a way you can ban free speech under the guise of protecting the public heath!

In addition to noise related causes and ageing, it is also brought on by infectious diseases, genetic conditions, complications at birth, and use of certain drugs.

Yeah, I guess we should have mentioned that, too. But that still leaves 0.001% of cases caused directly by blasting Quiet Riot.

Full Article.

Komment Korner

I wish permanent hearing loss to all of them.

Go see Motorhead without earplugs. I made that mistake once. Couldn't hear for a week.

On a positive note, once you're deaf, no more damage to your hearing can occur. Beats the hell out of going blind or dying.

How's that again? Speak up I can't hear you.

WHO cares.


Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

Choose Your Own Adventure #8: Deadwood City

I'm heading back into the wild west, perhaps because I still had several Westworld jokes I wanted to make but didn't get a chance to because of an abrupt and lame "it was all a dream!" variant ending. No, I'm not falling into the horrible "theme" abyss where you eventually end up with "it's the 2nd of July, here's a book with a flag in it" and so on. Honest, that isn't happening.

Anyway, "Deadwood City" is unique for a few reasons. It's the first Choose Your Own Adventure book featuring an entirely historic setting with your character native to that setting and it's the first time the "you" avatar is depicted as female. Well, it is if you don't believe one reviewer who insists that you're actually a long-haired young male with feminine features, sort of like the guys in Nelson. Frankly this theory has about as much credibility as claiming Space and Beyond is anything but a pile of red-blanket baby space puke.

Almost as bad as the awful truth behind the "Look What the Cat Dragged In" album cover.

It's a single digit entry, so back-story is minimal. I'm a former cow-puncher who grew disillusioned with all the politics and HR betrayals and am now seeking fame and fortune in Deadwood City. Upon arriving, I notice the streets are empty, which suggests either a ruined economy that President Hayes blames on the polices of his predecessor or that there's going to be a showdown. Knowing the general themes found in this sort of story I doubt we're going to be discussing the ramifications of RutherfordCare, aka the Affordable Miracle Elixir Act.

Featuring the No Forehead Kid.

Since we're leaving no cliche unturned I decide to hit the saloon. I'm invited to a card game, but the loser must take on Kurt Malloy, the "King of the Outlaws" who seems pretty dangerous, even considering his total absence of frontal lobes. I'm gonna lose, it's for fools, but that's the way I like it. I'm given the choice to break up a pair of eights to draw for a flush, but since I just need  to avoid getting the worst hand I decline and some other guy loses and must commit proxy suicide via the criminal royalty descending on the town.

  The only card I need is...another eight???

With the loser presumably bleeding out a few dozen yards from the table, the game continues as if we haven't just condemned a man to die for no good reason and the "stakes" keep getting higher. No, this doesn't mean the next loser will be slowly tortured to death, instead it's big money, which, in fairness, is a much lower stake, really. Either way, I could "make a fortune!" or lose one. All right, all in.

I get a pair of Jacks and decide to bluff with it. Thanks to the "Too rich for my blood!" behavior of the other players I win big, but decide to quit instead of going "double or nothing." I was expecting righteous wild west adventures and not a poker simulator, after all.

"Welcome to Poker World, where nothing can possibly go wrong."

Everyone is jealous of my success, but all they're willing to do about it is mumble. Hate the game, not the player, guys. I decide to leave town and continue my tour of America's beautiful wastelands, sort of like a Clint Eastwood character but with no awesome violence, whip-murder dreams or failed hanging scars. So in other words, nothing like one. That's how the story ends, just wandering. Will I get a bib or go back to momma? The book doesn't say.

Not much else to say about this one. I managed to avoid all the interesting plot lines the author seemed to be setting up and did a lot of gambling. Since I still lack that particular addiction (one of the only ones I need to complete the full set, actually) it came off as rather lackluster. The historical setting was nice though, especially since it didn't appeal to supernatural forces or something dreary like that.

 "I'm comin' for you, Moses!"

Shill Section  

Aaron Zehner is the author of "Posts from the Underground," now available in paperback and e-book. Read a free excerpt here.

His first novel The Foolchild Invention is also available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.