News you Can't Use: Hollywood Moves Back to Demonic Possession Stories

For those who don't own a calendar and have forsaken all contact with the outside world, the primary demographic I'm trying to reach, you need to know it's almost time for Halloween. This, of course, means another tepid round of limp PG-13 offerings that substitute dolls and other non-scary objects for actual story telling. Expect plentiful lame jump scares since that's a lot easier than establishing a mood of growing dread and maybe, if you're lucky, lots of product placement. But wait, we're switching back to "the demon was my co-pilot" stories as the main metaphor for fear of societal disintegration and personal atomization, now that stories about ghouls have reached saturation levels. Will this new trend revive the most stagnant of all genres? Well, no, but we still have to look at the article anyway.

It’s enough to make your head spin. Some 40 years after “The Exorcist,” demonic possession is back, spewing out movies, TV shows and books.

Ha, clearly punchy writing full of clever turns of phrase is not back.

“Ash vs. Evil Dead,” based on the “Evil Dead” film franchise about demons plaguing vacationers at a cabin in the woods, is premiering on the Starz cable network on Halloween.

Like most people I felt that Evil Dead 3: Army of Darkness left many themes and plot lines about the dead that are, oddly enough, also evil, unexplored. Ever since repeatedly viewing that 1992 masterwork and writing multiple letters each week to every cable network, no matter how obscure or goofy-named, to demand that we get the proper cynical cash-in reboot that this series always deserved.

A sequel to the hit 2013 film “The Conjuring,” about an attempted exorcism, is in production.

It's rated PG-13, contains a doll that might frighten a timid seven-year-old living a completely sequestered existence in a Mennonite colony and was released last year to a critical reception that could be fairly described as "savage." When "shameless cash grab" is probably the closest thing to a blurb you could put on a poster you know it's just a matter of time before you get another bite at the apple.

“The Witch,” a film-festival darling about possession in a Puritan family in 17th-century New England, is set to open in February.

Yeah, it takes time to remove the shame and target wallets, so please be patient. Besides, nothing's more frightening than February weather or a lonely Valentine's Day, am I right? Hey, come back here!

A revival of Arthur Miller’s “The Crucible” opens on Broadway that same month, starring Saoirse Ronan as a young woman amid charges of witchcraft in Salem.

You are aware that this is actually a tale of very human failure with absolutely no demonic elements, right?

A reality-TV special advertised as a “live exorcism” of a haunted house is scheduled to air the night before Halloween.

Still more watchable and less intelligence insulting than the first Democratic debate.

Streaming services, looser broadcast standards and more television options have broadened this audience and fueled more projects.

Yeah, streaming. Like a stream of puke from a drunkard's mouth.

Teens can make a TV show or movie viral in minutes. Young-adult novels turn into hit movies, like the “Twilight” vampire-werewolf films.

And you, as a fully mature adult, will go see this puerile garbage because you're a moronic sheep.

“The Walking Dead,” about a dystopic world overrun with zombies, is the most popular show on cable TV. 

Can there be a twenty year or so moratorium on the word "dystopic" for the benefit of people that can't correctly use it?

The 2013 zombie movie “World War Z” racked up big world-wide ticket sales for weeks.

Man, all this technology really has accelerated the pace of society. Let's talk about 2013 releases, pine for new, worse versions of 1992 sequels and generally fail to move forward.

The new wave of possession films could take scary movies even more into the mainstream.

And no "R" rating, because we want lots of kids at our diabolic possession movie.

The last one, this time for sure, unless it's really profitable.

Teenagers especially relate to the notion of one’s body and mind being taken over by an uncontrollable force they can’t understand.

Demon possession = I can't control my horny levels.

Belief in a demonic presence is a part of many religions, notably Catholicism. Mark Neveldine, who directed this summer’s film “The Vatican Tapes,” says Pope Francis is helping drive the new interest in exorcism.

That or "climate change," I forget which.

“There’s almost like a weird little thrill to the idea that the devil did make me do these horrible, terrible things, and I’m not responsible,” he says.

"I wasn't my fault, George W. Bush left it like this!"

“I love ‘The Exorcist,’” Ms. King says. “It’s a great book and a great movie, but that story has been told.”

But never in a format where nudity and most swearing words are forbidden and hey, easy on the disturbing content because we want that wider, dumber, audience.

Full Article.

Komment Korner  

The Jesuits were reformers, proselytizers, and, most importantly, soldiers of the Holy Mother Church in her battle against the Protestant Revolution

Doggone WSJ spell swapper.

If you believe in God and reject Him....your punushment is fitting.

Get your facts straight!

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

News You Can't Use: To Lure Young, Movie Theaters Shake, Smell and Spritz

Hey, young person! Yes, you there with the Chinese electronics and "with it" ideas. How would you like to see a movie based on a cartoon designed to sell toys from 1986? What do you mean, no? Would you change your mind if I told you that you'll be sprayed with various vile fluids and shaken like a Bond Martini? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Having tried 3-D films, earsplitting sound systems and even alcohol sales in pursuit of younger moviegoers, some theater chains are now installing undulating seats, scent machines and 270-degree screens.

Where gimmicks from the 1950s and "Underage drinker night" failed, the scent machines will surely succeed. Can you imagine how much better old films would be if the sent of desert sand or old newspapers was constantly blasting you in the face? Clearly this will produce a golden age of Super Movies that will make us wonder why we even cared about all that old junk.

For an $8 premium, a Regal theater here even sprays patrons with water and pumps scents (burning rubber, gun powder) into the auditorium.

Still cheaper than the popcorn, haw haw. Here's three Washingtons and a King Lincoln, can't wait to safely simulate car accidents and gun mayhem.

Can’t cope with two hours away from your smartphone? One theater company has found success with instant on-screen messaging — the texted comments pop up next to the action.

As my seat spun around and I inhaled simulated distressed rubber I was worried I was under-stimulated. Thank goodness for this.

“When I step back and think about what will get people off a couch, in a car, down the road and into a theater, the answer is not postage stamp-sized screens and old seats,” said Gerardo I. Lopez, the chief executive of AMC Entertainment, the No. 2 chain in the United States.

What will get you to take that gun out of your mouth, dress yourself, get into that car, hit the accelerator, negotiate traffic on a road, find a designated theater location and then exchange federal reserve paper for the privilege of seeing a Young Adult novel sort of come alive? It's certainly not going to be compelling stories or skillful direction. Scent sprayers, that has a chance.

“Why would they bother? What the hell, stay in the house.”

No spinning seat that rattles in time with the explosions? Might as well just pull that trigger, the world has nothing for you.

Ticket revenue in North America has fallen 4 percent this year compared to the same period in 2013, according to box office analysts, and attendance is equally down.

Well, that explains the explosion of low budget films and huge pay-cuts for name actors.

Last year, despite a glut of extravagant action movies, the number of frequent moviegoers ages 18 to 24 dropped 17 percent, compared to a year earlier; the 12-to-17 age bracket dropped 13 percent.

We know those punks love deadly violence and loud talking from examining their own pathological behaviors, but for reasons unknown they're not going to theaters. Must be the lack of odors.

The undiscerning young ticket buyers Hollywood has long counted on to turn out weekend after weekend are suddenly discerning.

The nightmare of an educated society! Deploy the new Smart Phones!

Or they are at least busying themselves with video games, living room wide-screen televisions and devices that can pull up thousands of movies with a couple of clicks.

Relax, no one got any smarter. Just much lazier and much, much more pathetic.

“The traditional moviegoing experience is at odds with the rest of their lives,” said Ben Carlson, president of Fizziology, a consultancy that focuses on entertainment and social media.

My doctorate in Fizziology is less useful than you might expect.

There are two types of water effects: rain, which drops from the ceiling, and mist, which is squirted from the seat in front of you. (Patrons can turn off the water by pressing a button.)

Forgive me for not wanting anything squirted from the seat in front of me while at the theater.

“We’re adding to the story, not taking away from it,” said Catherine Yi, a senior editor for CJ 4Dplex, the company behind the technology.

For the last time, this not a stupid gimmick. Please stop asking.

“It’s way cooler than it sounds,” said David Ramirez, 25, as he left a crowded 4DX screening of “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1” last weekend.

"I'm a man in my mid-twenties but I went to a movie based on a novel aimed at twelve-year-old girls," he added.

But the current move toward interactivity and immersion is unlikely to go away entirely, analysts say, in part because of a generational shift.

Sure. Wake me when "Sense-r-round" comes back.

I'm a unique individual full of value.

Allowing patrons to use their smartphones in certain auditoriums has been discussed intermittently by exhibitors, although worries about piracy, among other factors, have prevented that notion from moving forward in the United States. But theater chains paid keen attention to a recent texting trial in China.
 

I'd love to read those texts, full of loyalty to the glorious People's Government and Right Think. Show us the way, China.

At August screenings in 11 cities of “The Legend of Qin,” an animated movie, ticket buyers were allowed to log on to a Wi-Fi network and use their mobile phones to text with other attendees as the film played. The messages appeared next to the action, much like VH1’s “Pop Up Video” program.

Behold the huge leap forward in yelling "Don't go in there, girl!" at the screen.

“Our customers really seemed to like it,” said Timothy Warner, Cinemark’s chief executive.

Nothing soul-crushing here, that's for sure.

But Mr. Warner vowed that Cinemark would go only so far. “Unlike some of the others,” he said, “we still think the reason people go to the movies is to see movies.”

It sounds crazy, but you might be on to something here.

Full Story.

"Maybe one day this theater will produce a real rain and a vibrating seat."

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.